the glory and the horror

I finally got in touch with the right people so that I can be on the ethics committee at one of the hospitals I work at. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to participate, but I will at least still be in on the process. It will be a setting in which I have not seen the ethics committee working, in that I’ve seen private and public county hospitals, and now I will see a federal hospital. There are apparently slight nuances that do change with the fact that it is a federal hospital, most notably that the policies are based on federal policy, not state or local policy. We’ll see how much that actually makes a difference.

On a related note, I got to have one of my first conversations, as an actual MD, with a patient and his wife about stopping aggressive treatment for his medical condition. He understood that without treatment, the disease would definitely progress, and at a rate that may leave him with only weeks to months to live. She supported him, but I knew it was hard for her to come to grips with the fact that this man, to whom she had been married for over 5 decades, was not far from leaving her. I almost broke down while talking to them.

It was one of those situations that I hate being in, but at the same time, I love it. I hate it because I have to tell someone that medical science may not have that much to offer them, and that the disease that they have will march inexorably toward death. I love it because it’s an opportunity to stare death in face, and see it as sweet victory.

The patient and his wife, for all that I could tell and from everything that they told me, are fellow Christians, and I was honored to pray with them while we were having these conversations. It was one of those times that I’m glad I could actually make a connection with a patient on a deeper level.

And it sure beats having to figure out who’s trying to weasel pain meds out of me/the hospital.

Wacked out Japanese Spiderman game. Addictive, much like the dolphin game.

Play the game, and you’ll see what I mean.

… THEN LEAVE! No one is forcing you to get medical care! But if you want some, there’s a REASON for what the doctors ask you to do! If you want to take stupid risks, take them OUTSIDE of the hospital.

I was tagged by Gregory, so here goes.

10. Blue Bell ice cream
9. Starburst jelly beans
8. Mountains
7. Hiking in the mountains
6. Cold water after a nice run
5. A grateful patient
4. A nice smelling candle
3. Soft sheets
2. The warm sun shining on my feet in sandals
1. Kathleen (well, not as simple, but always a pleasure)

I tag Kathleen, Jonathan, Lydia, and Victor.

I’ve always heard variations of this quote, but Sam posted the actual quote on his blog.

It will not do to say that you have no special call to go to China. With these facts before you and with the command of the Lord Jesus to go and preach the gospel to every creature, you need to ascertain whether you have a special call to stay at home.

- Leonard Ravenhill, prominent British evangelist in the 20th century

The Dalit Freedom Network is mentioned in this BBC article on conversions as a way of protesting the caste system in India.

While we did not explicitly know of any Dalits during our trip, it was my understanding that the hospitals were worked at served people of many different castes, and that was one of the unusual aspects of the places that we worked.

As mentioned in the article, there is still much widespread oppression of the Dalits, even though it is supposed to be illegal, and there are various quotas, especially for education to try to elevate their status. However, in the rural areas, those rules aren’t enforced.

I wonder if the conversions are more driven by wanting out of Hinduism, so they just run to the option, or if they are people who truly grasp the freeing and levelling work of Christ when it comes to social classes. As noted in the article, upper-caste converts still don’t seem to get it, sometimes. It’s one of those times when culture trumps theology, I suppose. It happens everywhere, unfortunately.

Duty
Advocacy
Best interest
Autonomy
What do you want?
What should you want?

Systems
Forms
Strange languages
Hierarchy
How do we get there?
How did we get here?

Strategies
Treatments
Arguments
Fight
It’s a battle.
It’s a journey.

In response to Ben’s entry:

I won’t say that I understand what you’re feeling exactly, but Kathleen and I have wondered and struggled with how we relate to our colleagues and friends, since there are some of them that are gunning for the cush life. They’ve chosen/are choosing what are (presently) high-paying specialties that will have fewer demands on their time and energy.

Sometimes, we whine about the work we have to do, the crappy hours, and so on. We whine about the artifical impositions from various sources that seemingly make it harder for us to do our work, what we see as the noble work of caring for the sick and helping them stay well.

What are we whining about? We’re not the sick ones.

At the same time, there are stupid things that keep us from doing our jobs well, from doing it the way we know we ought to be doing it.

Anyway, I’m coming back to this post weeks after I started it, so I’m not sure exactly where I was going with it, but I guess I’ll just post it as is right now.

Being content where God has us right now is hard to do. At least for me.