bad timing

I went to the dentist yesterday for my 6 month check-up. Not my favorite thing to do. But yesterday was worse than usual. I found out that I have an abcess in my gum and have to get a root canal. Normally, this would suck. But at this point, it more than sucks.

First of all, I am supposed to leave for Africa in 2 weeks. And the crown usually takes longer than that to be fitted by the lab.

Second of all, it costs a buttload of money….money that I do not have. I cannot afford to get a root canal and go to Africa. But I don’t want to be stuck in Africa with “pain worse than childbirth”, as my dentist described how much it can hurt if it doesn’t get fixed. And I don’t want to have to end up getting a root canal while I’m in Kenya.

So….I don’t know. I spent a while crying about this yesterday. I really want to go to Kenya, but I also really want to have teeth when I am 40. And I feel like at this point I have to choose between a root canal and Kenya, unless God provides for both, which he can do. But how much does that choice suck?

I think I’m doing great and trusting God, but then things like this happen, and I have a hard time trusting. Why must I make these choices? I guess if I was a good Calvinist, I would realize that I don’t really have a choice, so there would be no need to worry.

I’m rambling.