Rhonda's Ramblings

I was at Walmart today. (I will refrain from talking about my love/hate relationship with this store, for now.) But I was in the school supply aisle, and I saw something that I had to buy: Crayola thin line markers in classic colors. My sister and I both always have a pack or two of these around. It is always good to have an extra when one color decides to die.

Back to school time is the best time to buy them, because Walmart usually has them for 78 cents. And the rest of the year they are around $2.88. That’s a good savings. So I picked some up. They are a craft essential. Or at least an essential for a girl who is 12 years old at heart.

More beauty can be found in a local farmer’s market than in all the great museums in the world.

One of my weekly rituals is going to the farmer’s market. I love seeing all the vibrant colors of the fresh produce that was in the fields probably only days ago. The farmer’s market in my town is held at the local park in the shade of the trees. It’s quite small…not a lot of customers, but I like that because it means that most of growers are local.

The main reason I go to the market is to buy flowers. Every week, I buy at least one bunch of sunflowers and usually a bunch or two of mixed flowers. I decided that ten or twelve dollars a week spent on flowers is more than worth it! They bring such joy into the house. Usually I put a bunch of them on the front porch by the door. What is more welcoming than a happy bouquet of sunflowers?

I’d rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. – Emma Goldman

The drama and drug use and DUIs that occur among the people I work with are fascinating. And perhaps someday I will regale you with those stories. But for today, I will just tell you how much I am loved around there.

(For those of you who don’t know, I work as a waitress at a small restaurant.) Well, the other night, my food runner/ busgirl decided that she hates me because I had her vacuum both the dining room and the banquet room, which is really her job. Normally, I would vacuum one of them, just to be nice. But that night, she hadn’t helped me at all, every time I needed her to do something, I couldn’t find her because she was back in the kitchen flirting (having water fights and towel snapping fights) with the dishwasher. I figured she could get paid for doing something. So, she decided to tell Carlos (my boss) how much she hates me and that she never wants to be scheduled with me again.

The next day, one of the cooks, Cory, decided that he hates me too. And so he went to Krystal (who used to be a manager, but now is just the girl Cory is sleeping with) and complained about me and said that he didn’t want to work with me.

So, I feel really loved. I do know that Carlos loves me most of the time, and the other cooks liked me once they realized that even though I am a Christian, I still have a personality. But I think I’m a nice girl. There is no reason to hate me because I have a work ethic and you don’t.

The funny part of the story to me is that Carlos told our “big boss”, Mony, that Cory and Maria were unhappy with me. Now I don’t Mony well. He is rarely at the restaurant, so I don’t have any idea how much he knows about me and what kind of a worker I am. His response to Carlos : “F***, I’ll fire the whole f****** kitchen before I fire Rhonda.

I guess that’s a compliment. Too bad that I have the opportunity for a lifetime position as a waitress.

Just to let you know…this won’t be a depressing post. So, keep reading.

Psalm 148:3
Praise him, sun and moon,
praise him, all you shining stars.

On my way home from work tonight I saw a shooting star. Seeing a shooting star always brings joy to my heart. It’s like you are participating in a tiny moment of magic. If you had been looking somewhere else at that moment, you would have missed the falling glimpse of light. The one I saw tonight lasted longer than usual. It seemed to float through the sky in slow motion. I kept expecting the light to die out, but it hung on for a few seconds. It definitely brought a smile to my face.

And I know this sounds really cheesy, but if you don’t by now that I’m cheesy, then it’s time you found out.
When I see a shooting star, I feel like it’s a special way God encourages me a little bit. It’s like he’s saying, “See my beauty and my creation that praises me. I remember you and you are special to me, so I’m sharing it with you…you get to enjoy it too.” Like I said, cheesy, yet it makes my heart happy.

So, what are some little things that God has used to encourage or remind you of something this week? (If I ask a direct question, will you guys make comments? )

Since I have decided that I am going to blog regulary, I guess I should write something. I have lots of thoughts rattling around in my head, but I don’t have the energy to coherently put them on paper (or a computer screen).

You know, our minds are very interesting. A profound thought, huh? Last night I went over to my mom’s house for dinner. I have driven the road to my mom’s house probably a kajillion times in my lifetime. And I have passed a particular tree hundreds of times. But since 1998, I have not been able to pass the tree without noticing it. My dad died when he crashed his van into this particular tree. I know…this post has become very depressing. I didn’t really plan on it going down this path.

No matter what, I always think about it when I pass the tree. I could be in a car full of people in the midst of conversation, or just driving alone with music on.

The interesting thing to me is that it’s not always a sad thought when I pass the tree. It’s often more of just a mental note of “There is the tree”. Obviously sometimes this leads to more introspection and reflection on my dad’s life.

Yeah, I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I guess some things are just burned in your mind. It has been 6 years and hundreds of times that I’ve passed the tree, and I still can’t drive by it without remembering. And I’m sure in 20 years, it will be the same.

Of course, there are things that always trigger happy responses in my mind. I will try to think of some.

I’m jumping on the bandwagon. But this was really hard…harder than I thought it would be.

The Soundtrack to Your Life Survey
Make a soundtrack for your life, matching songs with the following:

Opening song: “Great Adventure”-Steven Curtis Chapman and “I Wanna Do It All”-Terri Clark
Waking up: “Smelling Coffee”-Chris Rice
First date:
First kiss: “Moondance”-Van Morrison
Falling in love: “Flowers in the Window”-Travis or “That’s How Your Love Makes Me Feel”-Diamond Rio”
Seeing an old love: “Seven Shades of Blue”-Beth Neilsen Chapman
Heartbreak: “Shot Through the Heart”-Bon Jovi
Driving: “Beautiful Day”-U2
Getting ready to go out: “Kate”-Ben Folds Five
Partying with friends: I’m a bit embarrassed to say “The Humpty Dance”. Can I say that?But just the first verse. Then you start the song over. I don’t like the gross parts, but the song has good memories of hanging out with my friends. And really, can you get better lyrics than this?
“I like to rhyme,
I like my beats funky,
I’m spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.”
Flirting:
Feeling sexy: “Natural Woman”-Carole King
Walking alone in the rain: “Rain” by Clear
Missing someone: “The Rich Song” by Derek Webb
Playing in the ocean: “Surfin’ U.S.A.” by Beach Boys
Summer vacation: “Get Out the Map” by Indigo Girls
Fighting with someone: “Rain” by Patty Griffin
Acting goofy with friends: “La Vida Loca”-Ricky Martin
Thinking back: “Thankful” by Caedmon’s Call
Feeling depressed: “Worlds Apart” by Jars of Clay
Christmas time: “Breath of Heaven” by Amy Grant
Falling asleep: “Omega/ Be Thou My Vision Medley” (When I lived in Honduras, I would go to sleep with this song on repeat almost every night.)
Closing song: “Faithful” by Jennifer Knapp

You guys need to give me help with first date or flirting. I can’t think of any, maybe because I don’t have much experience with those things. Or I just can’t think of songs.

Since Carla wrote pretty much the exact same thing I was gonna write, I won’t repeat it.

I will tell you all that the cow is free. Animal control came, but he wasn’t so smart. The guys from the fire department up the road came up with the idea to put the cow on a big board and lift it up high enough to get his head to a wider part of the tree.

Last weekend my friend Vanessa and I went to Tahoe for the weekend. If you’ve never seen Lake Tahoe, that’s very sad. It is an amazingly crystal clear lake tucked into the mountains on the California/Nevada state line. We camped right near this beautiful bay, but unfortunately, there appeared to be a storm coming in and there were rumblings of thunder. Good thing we had a rain cover for our tent. But, it ended up we didn’t need it. The storm went elsewhere.

It was a little cold the next day, which was sad, because we really wanted to go swimming and the lake temperature is usually freezing to start with. One of the problems in Tahoe is that all of the public beaches aren’t very good or cost a lot to get into. The private beaches are usually the good ones. So, we, of course, snuck on to the private beach at the Hyatt Regency hotel. And enjoyed their lounge chairs and their towels and we even went for a little swim in the cold water.

We had a great time in Tahoe, but I have yet to tell you about the most exciting part of the trip. (For Vanessa and I at least). On the drive there, we saw a sign that said “Weaver’s estate sale”. We quickly turned the car around to vist this sale, discussing the whole time whether it was the Weaver family estate sale, or the estate sale of someone who had been a weaver, hoping strongly that it was the latter, and that there would be yarn and wool and things there. And we were not disappointed. When we arrived, the lady was quick to point out that it was not the Weaver family estate sale, but only had yarn and weaving equipment. We were seriously giddy with excitement. When we were in Kenya, we met a really sweet lady at the market who we became friends with and invited us to our house and showed us how she prepared the wool and spun it into yarn and then knit hats or made rugs. We had so much fun and determined to learn to spin yarn. So, this estate sale was so exciting to us, and more proof that I am an old woman.

We spent a lot of time there looking at all the beautiful hand-spun and hand-dyed yarns and trying to decide what we wanted to buy. (The only other customer there bought the yarn that I really wanted.) But I bought some beautiful mohair yarn and some pink and purple yarn. And we both bought drop spindles and wool to spin our own yarn. And then, the lady who was selling the stuff was so happy to see young people excited about this, that she gave us $20 worth of yarn to share. We were thrilled and giddy for the next hour of the drive. We are so cool. Who gets excited about yarn?

We long to be known and we fear it like nothing else. ~John Eldredge

I think Micheal W. Smith lied.

I talked to my former best friend this week for the first time in probably over a year. (How horrible is it to call somebody my “former best friend”?) But that is what she is. We were once SO close. She knew me better than probably anyone else ever has (except perhaps my siblings). And still loved me. But due to some difficult situations and circumstances that occurred, I made the extremely difficult and painful decision to give up her and her husband’s friendship. It was one of the harder decisions I’ve made in my life. Who wants to lose their best friend? But at the time, I really felt like it was the wisest decision. And in retrospect, I still think it was the right decision, even though it was extremely hard for both of us. That was 2 years ago, and we have just recently begun to rebuild our friendship. I’m really glad, and though I know things will never be quite the same, it was SO good to talk with her.

But that is just one example of my failure at friendships. I don’t regularly keep in touch with any of my college friends. In fact the girls that I was closest to in college weren’t even really speaking to me on graduation day …and I still don’t really know what happened even though we have all talked about it since then. My best guy friend felt like God told him to give up our friendship. I don’t really keep in touch with any of my childhood or high school friends. And of course, I lose all of my good guy friends when they get married. And today I had a conversation that I fear will probably lead to the end of another good friendship.

Someone once told me “God gives us friends for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”. I definitely see the reason in many of these friendships that didn’t last. God taught me a lot. The biggest lessons were probably teaching me to trust God and to know that God is the only one who is completely faithful. And obviously some friendships just fade and are only there for a season. But I really desire is lifetime friends. Friends that are around through all the ups and downs of life. Friends that knew me way back when and have been with me through the changes that God has brought. And friends that will be there in 30 years at my (hypothetical) kids weddings amd will be reminscing about when the kids were born.

These past couple of weeks my insecurities have been coming out a lot. I am afraid that if my friends really knew me they wouldn’t really like the person that I am. Maybe that insecurity comes out of the friendships that haven’t worked. Or maybe they haven’t worked because of that insecurity. I don’t know.

I do have some really great friends and I am SO thankful for them. I just don’t understand why so many of my friendships don’t last. I think I’m a pretty good friend…loyal, encouraging, fun, supportive. I try to be a good listener, and also keep them accountable.

Why is friendship so hard? And why do I suck at them? I know…it usually all comes back to God teaching me lessons. But sometimes I get tired of having to learn lessons. But I guess “Some people gotta learn the hard way”. Maybe if I really learned the lesson, then God wouldn’t have to keep teaching me to trust him.

(MWS and DC Talk references in one post….no wonder my friendships don’t last. )

I LOVE the Olympics. I’m very patriotic and I love sports, so it’s a great mix of both. Unfortunately, I don’t really get the channel that the Olympics are shown on. My t.v. is a tiny 10 inch black-and-white with rabbit ears. I usually only get 2 channels, but with a lot of adjusting sometimes I can’t “kind of” get reception on a couple of other channels.

Tonight, NBC is coming in ok. OK means completley fuzzy, but not too fuzzy to distinguish the lane lines in the swimming pool. (Last night, I couldn’t see the lane lines; I was mostly just listening to the commentary. ) Though I did see well enough to be jumping up and down at the United States relay win. And I prefer when the gymnasts wear white outfits, because I can actually see what they are doing. When they wear dark colors they just blend in.

I’m not unthankful for my little t.v. My friend Vanessa found it on the side of the road with a free sign on it, because it hadn’t sold at a yard sale. But, I was at work tonight stealing glances at the Olympics every once in a while, and was talking about how sad I was about my lack of Olympic coverage at my house…and about my t.v. So, some customer at the bar, Joe, offerred me a free color t.v.

It won’t solve my reception problem, I don’t think. I will still not get NBC, but it’s very fun that he’s giving me a free t.v.

I’m sure the majority of you who read this blog already know this story because you read the random board. But for those of you who don’t, this is what I discovered in the field behind my house yesterday evening.

Poor little cow. He’s stuck. I didn’t really know what to do. I left a note for the neighbors who it belongs to. And I called animal control today and they are supposed to come out and take a look, but they haven’t yet. So, the cow waits. And I take it water and apples.

In other news, have you ever anticipated something that fills you with both dread and excitement at the same time?

I will be participating in such an event this week. It is something that I really, really want to occur, yet it makes my stomach turn when I think about it. How does that work? Shouldn’t I either be really happy about it, or really scared about it…not both?

A pictorial portrayal of why I am in old woman.

How I spend my time:

crocheting beanies (though I hope I look cuter than this in them.)

making berry tarts

making grape jam from the grapes in my backyard

making bread and butter pickles

finishing a wall hanging similar to this.

and of course, working in the garden and preparing for a life of celibacy

And I enjoy every minute of it. Maybe if I keep it up, when I am actually an old woman I will be an expert in at least one of these things. (I just hope it’s not celibacy)

Hymn to a Good Wife
(Proverbs 31)

10A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
11Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
12Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
13She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
14She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
15She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
16She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
17First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
18She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
19She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
20She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
21She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
22She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
23Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
24She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
25Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
26When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
27She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
28Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
29″Many women have done wonderful things,
but you’ve outclassed them all!”
30Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-GOD.
31Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

I love this version of Proverbs 31 (It’s from the Message…I know some of you don’t consider that the Bible). But what an amazing woman that describes. The woman that I hope that God is shaping me to be. But the most important thing…even though this woman has so many skills…is that she fears the Lord. I would love to become an expert at all these things…but more than that, I would love to become a woman who really reflects Christ. I hope when people look at me they admire and praise me not for the things I can do (which really, I can do some things, but none of them really well), but I hope they see God through me.

I was out of milk this morning and I really wanted a bowl of cereal…and I love milk!. (I can’t believe how many people have come to my blog by doing a google search for “milk whore”. Who looks up stuff like that on google?) So I went to the corner store. OK…it’s not on a corner…and it isn’t much of a store, really. They sell sodas, candy, beer, and some basic staples…like milk and eggs. The sad part of the story is coming. The store is closing. Where will all the neighborhood kids go to get candy? Where will all the alcoholics go to get beer? The closest store now is about 10 miles away. It’s a tragedy really. That was a boring story…oh well.

You know, I’ve been thinking about the question I asked in my last post. Would you rather get your heart broken or your back broken? I have discussed this with a couple of friends who read this but never comment. And I find it very interesting that most of the guys chose broken heart, while most of the girls chose broken back. It makes me wonder, why is this? Is it because girls are more emotional creatures, while men are more physical. The thought of being emotionally broken is worse to girls than guys? Guys can’t handle the thought of being physically unable to do things? I don’t know.

My first response is that I would rather have a broken back, but perhaps a broken heart really is better. In the wise words of Trey, “broken hearts get stronger; broken backs get weaker”. I think that is probably true. I’ve never really completely had my heart broken. Well, that’s not entirely true. My heart has been broken…and it sucks! But not like extreme heartbreak…like I find my husband in bed with my best friend or something equally as horrible. But I imagine that would be really hard to deal with. Sure, you get stronger through it, but I’m content with how strong I am right now, thank you very much.

On the other hand, a broken back would take away all my independence for a while…I’d be so dependent on others, and I’d be a crippled old woman, probably. OK…both of these options are horrible.

I still haven’t decided, I guess. It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? How true is that? I don’t know. Hey, I’m rambling here again. Shocking, eh?

In other news, I have added a few links…though I didn’t take Adam off, but I should, since he took me off his links.

There’s nothing quite like walking on the warm sand, enjoying the breeze on your face, playing in the waves, and then getting your face slammed into the ground by an unexpected wave. I had a wonderful day at the beach hanging out with my sister. I drove down to L.A. yesterday (an 8 hour drive by yourself is not the best thing when you are trying to keep your mind from thinking about things…nothing to do but think while driving solo) I came to hang out with my sister and will be leaving early tomorrow morning to go home. I have only seen her once since I’ve been home from Africa, so it has been great spending time with her. Even if it is so short. Aside from the beach, we also spent time playing double solitaire (a thrilling game), and cruising the Avenue of the Presidents (which was also thrilling).

But the most thrilling thing we have been playing is the “would you rather? game”. You know, like “Would you rather give up eating apples or oranges?” “Would you rather eat something out of the bathroom trash or lick a cat’s butt?” (My sister asked that one…and then tried to change it to something more happy like pick a daisy or climb a tree). Would you rather be eternally pooping or a turtle pooping? Would you rather be able to read people’s thoughts or be invisible? Anyways, we laid on the beach for hours playing this game. Through this, I discovered that my favorite letter of the alphabet is R, followed closely by H, but for some reason, the letter S ranks higher than I expected. I didn’t expect to have any attachment to the letter S. Strange.

Would you rather break your back or get your heart broken?

Think about it. (and then comment!)