divorce

Today’s high: laughing with Chelsea (my co-worker) at Carlos when he called me a “wiss”. You may wonder what a “wiss” is. I’m pretty sure he was trying to say wuss, a word which I had earlier called him.

Today’s low: my still aching calves

My sister had to do an assignment about divorce for one of her classes, so she interviewed me, since our parents were divorced. It was interesting discussing it with her. We have talked about our feelings and thoughts on the divorce before. She had a list of questions that I was supposed to answer, but it was a bit different because she wasn’t interviewing a stranger. She was interviewing somebody who was involved in the same situation she was.

One of the questions that she asked is something that I have thought about a lot before.

Divorce can definitely become a generational pattern. My parents were divorced. My mom’s parents were divorced. And “they” say that children from stable two parent homes are more likely to have successful marriages, while children from broken homes are more likely to have marriages that end in divorce.

In the Christian circles that I have been involved in, I have often heard things such as “You should look to marry someone that has grown up in a stable two parent home, because they are more likely to stay together in their marriages.” That’s probably true.

So, my sister asked me something along the lines of whether I would rather marry someone whose parents are divorced or still married. And of course I would rather marry someone who doesn’t come from a broken home. My family is dysfunctional enough for us all. The more things that we have stacked in our favor the better. The less emotional baggage we have, the better.

But it is kind of a double standard. I don’t want guys to hold me to that standard. I don’t think that I am destined to fail in marriage just because my parents’ marriage failed. Though I come from a family with a pattern of divorce, I am determined, with God’s help, to break those patterns. Divorce will not be an option for me.

(As a disclaimer, it doesn’t really matter. This is not gonna make or break a relationship…if I fall in love with someone, and feel like God has led us together, it won’t matter what their family is like..)