I am currently reading Myth of the Welfare Queen: A Pulitzer Prize-Winning Journalist’s Portrait of Women on the Line. I saw it while perusing books at the library…and the title jumped out at me and I had to pick it up. I am not finished with it, but basically, it paints a portrait of real life families living on welfare in the 1990′s, when welfare reform was a hot political topic. Though the families it followed lived in inner city of North Philadelphia, much of it hit home with me.
I think there is a prevailing thought in America that people on welfare are just trying to work the system and are taking advantage of other people’s money. While I know that happens, I don’t think the majority of people that are on welfare are happy about it.
I remember well the waiting room in our counties’ welfare office. It seems we went there quite often when I was a kid. I’m not really sure what exactly these trips to the welfare office were for. I assume to discuss the details of the forms that my mom had to fill out regularly. She had to report every bit of income that came in.
My mom didn’t just sit around and wait for the welfare check to come every month. She cleaned houses. She went to school. At Christmas time she would make wreaths and centerpieces and we would sit in front of the grocery store selling them for extra money.
My mom did not want to be on welfare, but the circumstances of life led her there. She had three children, no specific education, and a husband who didn’t have a job and who was addicted to drugs and alcohol, and at three or four different times, she didn’t have a home for this family. There weren’t many options.
But we were not necessarily your typical welfare family (whatever that is). All 3 of us kids attended private Christian schools. But we didn’t take advantage of the government to pay for our private education. My brother’s tuition was paid by an “anonymous” donor. And for my and my sister’s tuition, all of us kids and my mom worked after school a few days a week cleaning the bathrooms and the classrooms. Which, I must say is kind of embarrassing for a kid. But I think it taught me a good work ethic…and it led to all 3 of us paying our own way through high school.
We were these really poor kids who didn’t find dumpster diving all that foreign, yet we went to school with a lot of kids who had money. Kind of a strange dynamic. I remember being a bit ashamed that we were on welfare and that we had to use food stamps. But looking back on it now, I realize that we did not just get a handout. We definitely got a hand up. My mom was able to attend the community college while on welfare, and from her work study job she worked her way up to different jobs at the community college, and has now been working there full time for many years. My mom was able to buy a house a few years ago, which I’m sure was only a distant dream in those times of homelessness. Her 3 children all have bachelor’s degrees. (Well, Rebecca will have hers in a few months.) We are a welfare success story.
But, more importantly than that, we are also a story about the grace of God. His amazing grace
My name is Rhonda. I am blessed to live in a beautiful place out in the country with my wonderful husband. In addition to our "real" jobs (I work at a garden center and he is a teacher), we have a small farm where we raise vegetables, eggs and chickens to sell at local Farmer's Markets. We are currently fixing up/remodeling a house into which we will soon be moving...hopefully. In my free time, (what is that?) I enjoy traveling, cooking, crafty projects, reading and watching the sun set on the hills.
My sociology teacher said that only 3% of people abuse the welfare system. I don´t know where she got that number but it is thankfully low. It´s great to hear welfare success stories, if you ask me.
I think its getting dusty in here.. my eyes are watering..
you need to dust this place every once in a while dangit!…
What a great story, Rhonda! I remember reading a book (I think it was called “Nickle and Dimed”) a couple of years ago about a woman writer who tried to see if it was possible to make it living on a minimum wage job. There definitely is a cycle that is hard to break – I’m so glad that your family was able to rise above it!
wow, rhonda… that’s really really cool to read. I love it when you find out things in peoples’ past that you’d never have guessed simply because it would never occur to you to think about it. this was one of those moments. It makes me feel sort of proud that I know you, which sounds corny and dumb, but it’s true somehow.
We need these real life stories to remind us that real people exist behind our various political rants and raves. Thank you, Rhonda!
That was amazing. I think sometimes God allows things in our lives for the sole purpose of being able to empathize with others. As such.. I can empathize with you.. not in the full sense, but just in having to deal with hard times and welfare at various time in our married life. You should write you own book!
Unfortunately, there are a HIGH number of women here in MI alone who use the welfare system as a way of life instead of working. They have baby after baby. When one child is old enough to start school, and the state wants them to go to work, guess what, they’re pregnant again. This happens all over. I’m sure the stats are much higher than 3%. I wish thats all it was. I don’t like women who think they are entitled to have all these kids and expect taxpayers to support them.
Dev: How many of these women have you actually met? What studies do you have to prove your assertion that you’re “sure the stats are much higher than 3%”? You assert that it’s a “HIGH number of women here in MI” … how high?
I always cringe at how the politician makes it seem like everyone collecting welfare is ther because they want to be. I’m ashamed we don’t bat an eye to send out money to another country but, want to deny our own.
Some people call them selves Christians. I often wonder!!!!!