Rhonda's Ramblings

I decided maybe I didn’t want the whole world to read my previous post. But if you want to read it, PM me or email me or leave a comment, and I’ll probably let you have the password.

So, I think that I mentioned that I won first place in a pie-baking contest at our local rodeo. I saw a request in the local paper for pies that they then sell to make money for the rodeo. Since I love to bake, and don’t really have anyone to bake for, I decided to give it a try. I was pleasantly surprised and quite proud when my strawberry rhubarb pie won first place…and happy to receive a $100 gift certificate to a kitchen store and a blue ribbon that now hangs in my kitchen. But word travels fast in a small town. The next day, everyone at the bar knew that I had won the contest. A couple of the guys were judges. So, it was kind of fun.

But then last week, Doc, (one of the judges), asked me if I would be willing to bake four pies for a Jr. Rodeo barbecue they are having this weekend…and asked me how much I would charge. I told him that of course I wouldn’t charge anything, because I just enjoy baking. Then he talked about how he was going to advertise that he would have pies from and “award winning pie baker”. Which made me laugh. Because that’s dumb. But it also worried me. That’s a lot of pressure. What if it was just a fluke that my strawberry rhubarb pie was so good, and they are really disappointed in these next pies I make?

And then, Bob, a kind older man who brings my sister and I fresh fruits and veggies on almost a daily basis, brought me some blackberries last week and requested a pie. He later reported that his pie, was “out of this world”, and better than the ones he makes. He asked if I could make him four pies to take to a church social this weekend. He brought me almost 5 gallons of blackberries to use and offered to pay me to make them. That’s a lot of blackberries…and 8 pies is a lot of pies to make. But I think it will be fun!

Though I’m not sure how I got myself into this pie making business.

You can be one too.

This afternoon, my sister and I had fun feeding the horses and cows behind our house.

It’s like a wildlife refuge around my house. Okay, not so much a refuge, because I’m trying to get rid of many of them. Lots of rodents (gophers moles and rats) and lots of bugs, but I saw a few lizards today and three snakes last week. And my neighbor’s chickens end up in my yard a few times a week. Plus the horses and the cows. And Whitey, the cat that doesn’t even belong to us, really.

In other news, I am currently listening to Steps of Faith by Margaret Becker for the first time in a long time. And I love this cd! Good old Maggie B. is one of my favorite songwriters. They may be pretty simple and straightforward, but the speak what my heart feels so often.

Find Me

I’m gonna move on down to Elliston
Let my hair grow wild and free
Rent a second story studio
Find the other side of me

I’m gonna sit out on the edge of the fire escape
Feel a little destitute
Search for feelings that will help me remember
The love that I had for YOu

Find me, find me
I’ll wait for You
Find me, find me
I’ll wait for You

I’m gonna give away my stereo
Give away my T.V.
I’m going back to essentials, a chair and a lamp
And the Book that You wrote to me

You see, I’m looking for the You that used to speak so clear
I’m looking for the me that had a heart to hear
And I’m looking for the passion that help me her
On the edge

CHORUS

You see, I’m looking for the me that I used to know
I’m looking for the love that was out of control
‘Cause I feel a little cold here in the afterglow

CHORUS

Find me, find me
I’ll, I’ll wait for You

What a wonderful day!

Church…I have come to love my quirky little community. My sister is attending with me for the summer…and she has already joined the worship team. And I helped out with Children’s Church today. There are only 4 kids and a wide age range, so that makes it a bit challenging. I’m excited because I am teaching Children’s Church next Sunday…and it’s the first time that I have done that in a long time…at least in this country.

Then after church, my sister and I went exploring. Some of the neighborhood kids told us that there is a swimming hole nearby that they call Catfish Pond. So my sister and I decided we needed to find this spot….which we were sure would just be a mudhole. But these kids weren’t so good at giving directions. They couldn’t remember if you turned left or right or uphill or downhill. So we decided just to explore. And we didn’t find Catfish Pond, but we did find our way down to the river. And it’s not too far, really. But because of the late rains (it was still raining last week), the river is pretty high and pretty swift. So, we had to trek across lots of sliding rocks to get to a spot that was wadeable…and then it was freezing. But we had a great time. And on our way back one of our neighbors told us that there is a cave not too far from the river that is really fun to explore. So, we will have to do that soon.

And then when we got home, my sister made some yummy dinner with fresh yellow squash and zucchini. (Not from our garden…ours won’t be ready for a day or two.) And then I got to go outside and enjoy my beautiful yard. Well, it’s more beautiful if I ignore the fact that there are lots of weeds and it needs to be mowed badly. But my sunflowers started blooming yesterday. There are lots of roses and gladiolias and zinnias blooming. And there are consistently about 10-15 finches hanging on or around my little finch feeder. And I picked some radishes from the garden, and just enjoyed the beautiful evening (and then mowed a bit). I usually work in the evenings, which sadly means I get to miss the beautiful sunsets and the stillness of summer nights. So, I enjoy them when I can.

And here is a picture I took this evening:

So, I was just reading a “What to Read” list. The writer suggested many good books, and wrote a little blurb about each one. The problem is that she summarizes the books rather than giving a teaser that would make me more interested in the book. Here is an example: (I won’t name the book, so I don’t ruin it for you. )

“Originally published in two parts, the first half introduces John, Mildred, and Ben; in the second part, Ben dies and John marries.”

Thanks. Why even read the second book?

~Rhonda

I read this on Sarah’s blog today

My mom admonished me a while ago (maybe freshman year of college) not to just “lap up the crumbs from _____’s table” – sort of taking what I could get, really “lapping up” every single tiny bit of encouragement or flattery or “maybe he likes me” bit of possibility from the guy I liked, instead of looking realistically and seeing that all I was getting from this guy (and, when I look back on it, from the guy I liked in high school) was “crumbs” (in a sense).

Oh my gosh. I have been so guilty of this. Being content just with getting crumbs from under the table. And taking those crumbs and hoping and believing that they mean something, instead of just moving on. This is a quote from one of my journals.

And I can’t believe I’m letting myself be the girl on the side. I have so turned into the girl I never wanted to be. I like him a lot, so I’m willing to sit under the table and take whatever dregs he is willing to give me. How dumb is that of me? I deserve better than that. Crumbs are what I’m willing to get..if it’s all I can get.

Will I ever learn? I hope so. I have settled for crumbs with a couple of different guys. But I don’t deserve crumbs and I don’t want to settle for that. I want to sit at the table with them. I want to be the main dish. I don’t want to constantly be looking for little things to convince myself that I’m important to him. Sarah’s mom gave her wise advice.

Just a few random thoughts.

You’re softer than a cannon blast
But your effects much longer last
And I want you just like a hole in my head
But I need you like a meal and a bed

And you say, come on
I’m not what you’re after
But I know, you’re not just anyone, anyone

‘Cause I’m not what you want
No, I’m not anyone
But if you needed me
I could be someone

You’re an army in a horse
And you have taken me by force
All the freedom in this world could not resist
The sweet temptation of your sweet elusiveness

So I say, come on
As the gate swings open
‘Cause I know you’re not just anyone, anyone

But the lie’s always cheaper than the truth
And the lie’s all I’ve never known of you
So maybe none of this is true

~Derek Webb

This song just gets me lately.

So, I have a sister that I love dearly. We are definitely best friends. And I am so excited that she is living with me for two months this summer.

My sister and I have a lot of fun together, and to others we probably often seem really retarded.
Or stupid, or weird. So, we have always said that we will not be able to marry guys who can’t handle our stupidness when hanging out together.

She is getting married in less than two months, and lucky for him, he has passed the test with flying colors. Many times.

I was reminded of this the other day when he called the house and my sister wasn’t home. So, he and I chatted for a while. And somehow our conversation about my sister and I looking alike led to a discussion about how everyone should have their date of birth printed on their butt and when asked for ID, they would have to show this proof. Yep, we have solved the world’s problems.

Aside from a good sense of humor and his ability to laugh at my sister’s and my craziness, he is a great guy who loves the Lord and loves my sister, and I will be happy to have him as my brother in law.

Look how tall my hollyhocks are:

And my pretty plums:

I am by no means as spontaneous as I once was. When I was 21, I was planning on going back to school in the fall. Two weeks before I was to leave, the opportunity arose to go teach in Honduras for a year. So, two weeks later, instead of moving the two hours to Chico, I got on a plane for a country that I knew next to nothing about. But I don’t know that I would be nearly as willing to just jump up and go these days. Though I really do love being spontaneous. But I think as I get older, I have more responsibilities and commitments that I feel like I can’t just leave them on a moment’s notice. But I don’t really have responsibilities and commitments. I don’t have kids or a husband, so there is nothing keeping me from being able to be spontaneous, except for my job. But that’s somewhat flexible. But maybe as I get older the desire to be footloose and fancy free is replaced with a desire to settle and put down roots. Or maybe next week, I will be announcing that I’m getting on a plane for Djibouti or taking a walk across America. Who knows?

I love living in a small town. I have always been torn between my wanderlust and my desire to put down roots in smalltown, USA.

Right now I’m leaning toward the small town.

I love my small town life right now. I work in a restaurant where I get to know a lot of the “locals”.

I attend church with my neighbors. People who literally live next door or a block away. Of course that also means that when those same neighbors are fighting and cussing at each other, I get to hear all of the drama.

Friends and neighbors give me tomato plants and squash plants. One man who comes into the restaurant came over and rototilled my garden for me. Another guy from the restaurant is lending me his weed-eater. The neighborhood kids charge 5 bucks an hour to weed-eat my backyard. Granted, they don’t do a great job, but it’s still worth it.

Not to mention the computer and digital camera that customers have given to me.

At church on Sunday, Sue, one of the ladies who lives up the street told me about her favorite memory of my grandma. Every summer, my grandma would have a Vacation Bible School in her front yard for the local kids. My grandma would go around the neighborhood ringing a bell and announcing that VBS was happening, and Sue was so fascinated that she had to send her kids to VBS.

I entered a pie in a contest at the rodeo. And when I came to work the next day, everyone at the bar already knew that I had won first place in the contest. (I also won a $100 gift certificate to a kitchen store!!) I was SO stinking excited…about having the best pie, but also for the gift certificate. (It was a strawberry-rhubarb pie.)

I moved to this little town over 3 years ago, never wanting to stay. But here I am three years later loving it…and unfortunately probably having to leave it…well at least this house.

But I’m enjoying it while I can. I’ve been spending a lot of time gardening. Yay! And maybe getting chickens soon! And I have been reading the Anne of Green Gables series, and the Little House on the Praire series. Both of which make me want to be more industrious and homemakey (it’s totally a word ) .

I’m such a country girl at heart.