I read this on Sarah’s blog today
My mom admonished me a while ago (maybe freshman year of college) not to just “lap up the crumbs from _____’s table” – sort of taking what I could get, really “lapping up” every single tiny bit of encouragement or flattery or “maybe he likes me” bit of possibility from the guy I liked, instead of looking realistically and seeing that all I was getting from this guy (and, when I look back on it, from the guy I liked in high school) was “crumbs” (in a sense).
Oh my gosh. I have been so guilty of this. Being content just with getting crumbs from under the table. And taking those crumbs and hoping and believing that they mean something, instead of just moving on. This is a quote from one of my journals.
And I can’t believe I’m letting myself be the girl on the side. I have so turned into the girl I never wanted to be. I like him a lot, so I’m willing to sit under the table and take whatever dregs he is willing to give me. How dumb is that of me? I deserve better than that. Crumbs are what I’m willing to get..if it’s all I can get.
Will I ever learn? I hope so. I have settled for crumbs with a couple of different guys. But I don’t deserve crumbs and I don’t want to settle for that. I want to sit at the table with them. I want to be the main dish. I don’t want to constantly be looking for little things to convince myself that I’m important to him. Sarah’s mom gave her wise advice. 
Just a few random thoughts.
My name is Rhonda. I am blessed to live in a beautiful place out in the country with my wonderful husband. In addition to our "real" jobs (I work at a garden center and he is a teacher), we have a small farm where we raise vegetables, eggs and chickens to sell at local Farmer's Markets. We are currently fixing up/remodeling a house into which we will soon be moving...hopefully. In my free time, (what is that?) I enjoy traveling, cooking, crafty projects, reading and watching the sun set on the hills.
i’ve been dealing a lot with this issue with the current girl i’m dating. not that she’s giving me crumbs, but i don’t feel like she’s the main dish. maybe the appetizer, but not something i can dine on for the rest of my life. my friends keep saying to wait, but i’m still tired of eating the soup, which itself is great, but i want the steak!
And every girl deserves to be more than the side dish. She needs someone who sees her as the main dish, don’t you think? I don’t know.
Wonderfully good points. Continue Rhonda, because you ARE worth more than crumbs
Yeah, that is pretty much exactly what I was going through when my mom gave me that advice. The problem was the “liking him a lot” part, and therefore me being willing to put up with a lot AND take little bits and make them into “meals.” Not a healthy dynamic for anybody. Let me know if you ever want to talk about it more, Rhonda. Glad you’re processing things, though. It can definitely be hard!
Rhonda, I love reading your thoughts.
And I’m glad that you’re learning about this… it’s quite simple, when laid out, but SO hard to not just settle for the crumbs. I did it for so many years… but then I got tired of even trying to sell myself as the main dish and realised that if I had to, I could sit at a table by myself for the rest of my life and be okay. I didn’t *have* to be ANYONE’S main dish. Lessons learned. 