I could tell you all the details of the last few days. (I got my hair cut, I made zucchini bread, I made some new Russian friends.) But instead, I’m gonna talk about singleness again. know, I know. I talk way too much about singleness. But I’m single. If I were married, I’d probably blog about marriage. But after all, I am the poster child for perpetual singleness.
As my new friend Oksana and I were in the car together for a couple of hours, we got to know each other, and asked the usual questions. She asked me what I really wanted to do in life. (Because she just guessed that I didn’t want to work at the Northridge forever.) And what was my answer? Well, there are SO many things that I would like to do. Too many to list. But at the top of my list is being a wife and a mom. That’s what I’d really like to do. She kind of looked at me with a confused look…expecting me to add some other important thing, like being the high ranking employee in the corporate world or something like that. She gave the common response, a version of “Is that all?”. And no, that’s not all. I would love to do so many things, like start a garden classroom and get my Master’s. But I really want to be a wife and mom. I don’t think it’s that crazy of a goal.
The thing is how I approach it.
I am a goal setter in general. I don’t reach a lot of my goals. But I do reach a good number of them. I achieved most of the things on my “Things to do before I’m 25″ list. I’m the type of person who really thinks that I can accomplish most things if I just apply myself enough and have enough discipline. Of course, I am often not disciplined enough. But if I want something badly enough to be disciplined, I can achieve that goal.
But I don’t think that way about getting married. I think of it as something that I don’t really have much control over. It’s not a goal that I can set, and can make a list of the things I need to do to accomplish that goal. It’s something that is very dependent on other outside factors. Like the guy. 
So, maybe I need to change my mindset. Or maybe I need to think about it a lot less. Or maybe it’s just a different type of goal. One that I don’t have much control over.
My name is Rhonda. I am blessed to live in a beautiful place out in the country with my wonderful husband. In addition to our "real" jobs (I work at a garden center and he is a teacher), we have a small farm where we raise vegetables, eggs and chickens to sell at local Farmer's Markets. We are currently fixing up/remodeling a house into which we will soon be moving...hopefully. In my free time, (what is that?) I enjoy traveling, cooking, crafty projects, reading and watching the sun set on the hills.
It seems that things like this, that we think we shouldn’t think about as much.. tend to be things we can’t stop thinking about!
like..thinking about food when you’re dieting!
For more than 10 years people have been telling me ..”some day you will walk around the corner and run right into the girl of your dreams.” .. well after spending much time hanging out downtown (lots of corners there) .. I have decided that either the girl of my dreams does not exist, or she is just that .. a dream. So as in the words of the Apostle Paul .. I will try to be content in whatever estate I am in.
Gee .. I wonder if the girl of my dreams has an estate?
Maybe the girl of Chuck’s dreams doesn’t hang out on street corners downtown…
Roger – That was my thoughts.
Rhonda – Nothing wrong with wanting to be a Wife and Mom. In fact, I would venture to say that any woman who doesn’t want to be amother isn’t right in the head. But that’s a topic for another day.
Just keep praying. Get your friends to pray. God will do one of two things. a) tell you your destined to be single. b) send the guy your way.
I’ve been praying for someone for you for a few years now, Rhonda – just so you know. I know you would be an amazing wife and mother; I just keep waiting for God to remove the blinders from the eyes of some wonderful man so he can see that fact as clearly as I can.
And I disagree with Eric. I don’t think God always does one of those two options. I think there is a c) option that is somewhat less pleasurable, but is nonetheless somehow part of his plan. So I’d add c)not tell you you’re destined to be single and teach you to depend on Him more and more instead of a human partner.
(I hope that doesn’t sound too trite.) I just don’t think God always tells us what His plan is. If He did, what would be the point of faith and hope?
I’ll keep praying for your heart and for God to guide you and mold you into His wonderful image. It’s all about His glory anyways, eh? And I don’t think it hurts anything for me to pray that He will bring someone fabulous into your life, do you?
I’m single myself and while I’ve never had a desire for children and the thought of settling down has freaked me out for most of my life, I would be remiss in saying that I never want to find someone or that I don’t get lonely sometimes. I do. I have a fabulous family and great friends all around me, but I believe there is a void in all of us that only a life partner can really fill.
I wrote an article entitled “Why it’s Great to be Single.”
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/232290/why_its_great_to_be_single.html
It’s my answer to that void. There are so many positive aspects about having the freedom to be single, in our loneliness I think sometimes we forget. I hope the article cheers you a bit.
Katie