I was trying to be good and get rid of a lot of junk. But it’s hard to do. I did pretty well, but there are some things that I probably should have gotten rid of that I ended up keeping.

My last semester of college (which I not so affectionately refer to as my “semester from hell”), I worked in a first grade classroom. That same semester my dad died. So, I found 20 letters from the little first graders. Most of them copied the words off the board, but some wrote their own notes. You can’t help but smile when reading the painstaking printing saying: “I’m sorry that your bab bieb.” That whole b and d mix up is great. Also, the drawings can only make you smile. Such as the one that looks like a man with really long armpit hair.

Needless to say, I kept those letters. Maybe in another 5 years I will be able to get rid of them. But not yet.

My sister and I have a lot of fun together, and to others we probably often seem really retarded.
Or stupid, or weird. So, we have always said that we will not be able to marry guys who can’t handle our stupidness when hanging out together.

She is getting married in less than two months, and lucky for him, he has passed the test with flying colors. Many times.

I was reminded of this the other day when he called the house and my sister wasn’t home. So, he and I chatted for a while. And somehow our conversation about my sister and I looking alike led to a discussion about how everyone should have their date of birth printed on their butt and when asked for ID, they would have to show this proof. Yep, we have solved the world’s problems.

Aside from a good sense of humor and his ability to laugh at my sister’s and my craziness, he is a great guy who loves the Lord and loves my sister, and I will be happy to have him as my brother in law.

A nice little system they have there. But if you were a teenager and you knew about this, what would you do?

If I had skipped class, and I didn’t want my parents to know, then I would make sure I answered the phone that whole night, in order to press zero at the appropriate time.

I don’t know. Maybe they have some backup system in place. Perhaps after you press zero, you are then transferred to a voice recognition program or something. But probably not. If schools could afford that, then what a waste of tax dollars.

And if you were wondering, Juan (or Junior) is my boss’ son, and he was sick today, not just skipping class. so I just passed the phone off to Carlos, so I don’t know what happens after you press zero.

And yes, this boring post is the first of the new year. I’m sure there will be many more to come.

• A caller at the Rood Administrative Center reported at 11:12 a.m. that a man was talking to himself and his backpack. The man reportedly said, “I just want you to remember that I finished my box first.”

• At 7:43 p.m., a caller at a gas station on East Main Street told dispatchers that he wanted to go to jail because it was too cold outside.

• At 1:09 p.m., a caller on the 13000 block of Idaho-Maryland Road reported people on all-terrain vehicles had been entering her house through a crawl space. Now, she said, they had removed part of her roof so they could come in through the top of the house. Deputies found no evidence to support the allegations. Several hours later, the woman called to say that the same people had thrown a dead animal onto her deck.

• A caller on Nevada City Highway, near the old Togo’s restaurant, reported at 7:37 a.m. that for the second day in a row, as he was going for a walk in the area, he saw a man’s feet sticking out of some bushes in the area. Deputies did not find anything.

• A caller reported at 5:15 p.m. that a man wearing a blue or black jacket was carrying a rifle on Scandling Avenue. When police responded, they found a man wearing a black jacket carrying an umbrella.

• A caller on the 14200 block of Old White Toll Road reported at 11:34 a.m. that a keg had been stolen from outside her home sometime the previous night.

• At 10:25 a.m., a caller on the 10000 block of Lime Kiln Road reported a suspicious man was on his property and had asked to retrieve marijuana he had buried there.

• At 8:12 a.m., a woman on the 300 block of Sutton Way reported she had a restraining order on her neighbors. That day, the woman said, she had seen the neighbors dumping a plant on her porch.

The previous day, the caller continued, her neighbors vandalized her mat. Police could not find the restraining order

• A caller on the 300 block of American Hill Road reported at 1:58 p.m. that there was a woman on her front porch acting strangely. The woman reportedly had her legs tied together. Police found the woman, who said she was a victim of a kidnapping. Police determined that “she was under the influence of something,” according to a report. Police told her to call them back when she was sober.

• A horn on a county vehicle parked at the Rood Administrative Center reportedly began blaring at 10:31 a.m. Deputies could not disarm the horn until about 10:50 a.m.

• At 5:10 p.m., a caller on the 500 block of S. Pine Street reported that the water at the residence had turned milky and smelled.

• A caller at First Baptist Church, on the 300 block of Main Street in Nevada City reported at 2:46 p.m. that someone was sleeping behind the church.

• A caller reported at 3:13 p.m. that he had been flagged down by a man near Bear River Bridge on Highway 174. The man reportedly told the caller that there was a body in the water. Deputies found a fully clothed dummy, described as a Halloween decoration that had probably been illegally dumped into the water, underneath a blanket in the water. The dummy was retrieved to prevent further calls to authorities.

• At 9:53 a.m., a caller on the 10700 block of Walker Drive reported the theft of a 200- to 300-pound unpainted gnome statue.

• At 12:31 a.m., a caller on the 11100 block of Alpine Lane reported that people were shining lights into the residence and going in and out of walls. Authorities opted not to respond.

There is a line from one of their commercials from a few years back that my sister and I thought was ridiculous. For some reason it replays itself in my head:

“Our milkshakes have enough creamy butterfat to lube a tractor”.

What?

Is that really what I’m looking for in a milkshake? I like milkshakes and I know that they are fattening, but do you think I want to be reminded of how much fat they have?

I’m trying to think of commercials that I do love…but I’m not coming up with any.

So, I guess I won’t set some new rule for myself that I can only buy products that have good commercials.

What commercials or advertising campaigns do you hate or love?

(For those of you who don’t know, I work as a waitress at a small restaurant.) Well, the other night, my food runner/ busgirl decided that she hates me because I had her vacuum both the dining room and the banquet room, which is really her job. Normally, I would vacuum one of them, just to be nice. But that night, she hadn’t helped me at all, every time I needed her to do something, I couldn’t find her because she was back in the kitchen flirting (having water fights and towel snapping fights) with the dishwasher. I figured she could get paid for doing something. So, she decided to tell Carlos (my boss) how much she hates me and that she never wants to be scheduled with me again.

The next day, one of the cooks, Cory, decided that he hates me too. And so he went to Krystal (who used to be a manager, but now is just the girl Cory is sleeping with) and complained about me and said that he didn’t want to work with me.

So, I feel really loved. I do know that Carlos loves me most of the time, and the other cooks liked me once they realized that even though I am a Christian, I still have a personality. But I think I’m a nice girl. There is no reason to hate me because I have a work ethic and you don’t.

The funny part of the story to me is that Carlos told our “big boss”, Mony, that Cory and Maria were unhappy with me. Now I don’t Mony well. He is rarely at the restaurant, so I don’t have any idea how much he knows about me and what kind of a worker I am. His response to Carlos : “F***, I’ll fire the whole f****** kitchen before I fire Rhonda.

I guess that’s a compliment. Too bad that I have the opportunity for a lifetime position as a waitress.

Poor little cow. He’s stuck. I didn’t really know what to do. I left a note for the neighbors who it belongs to. And I called animal control today and they are supposed to come out and take a look, but they haven’t yet. So, the cow waits. And I take it water and apples.

In other news, have you ever anticipated something that fills you with both dread and excitement at the same time?

I will be participating in such an event this week. It is something that I really, really want to occur, yet it makes my stomach turn when I think about it. How does that work? Shouldn’t I either be really happy about it, or really scared about it…not both?