Here’s an article from the upcoming Lynchburg Reformation Newsletter. It’s so stinkin’ good I thought I’d share it with blogdom…

Slow-Cooked Bacon
David Cooper

There are many ways to divide the world we live in: male and female; rich and poor; Christian and Muslim; those who microwave their bacon and those who cook it slow on the griddle. Now, I realize that this last binary may strike you as silly or insignificant. Ultimately, I agree that it is not quite as earth shattering as the first three. Even so, there is an element of living this life to the fullest that requires you to enjoy bacon cooked properly. Bacon is placed in the pan while it is still cool, the pan is heated on a medium-lowish setting and then the tasty morsels of pig stomach are allowed to sizzle in the wonderful fat that they produce until perfectly cooked. Sizzling bacon is the sound of the good life.

Do not fear the bacon splattering and therefore seek refuge in the insta-bacon plastic covered taste destroyer. Simply turn the heat down. There is much magic in the cooking of bacon. Try to cook it when the pan is hot and it curls too much. Cook it at a high heat and not only do you get blisters up and down your arms, but it can turn from deliciously cooked to charcoal in mere seconds. Bacon must be appreciated at a slower pace. When it is, the rewards are great; crispy yet flexible, juicy, salty, meaty and a touch of delightful melt-in-your-mouth fat. God’s grace imparted through breakfast. The only role the microwave should play in cooking bacon is a digital reminder of the wonderful time that has passed preparing the right kind of breakfast feast.

The insta-bacon mutation that comes out of the microwave is an almost universal sickly color of light-yellow-orange-brown. The stuff (calling it food is an insult to your pancakes) has no body or flavor. It flops on your plate and chewing it makes you wonder what kind of degenerate invented grease flavored bubblegum. This is not an appropriate pairing with French Toast and eggs over-medium. Microwaved bacon has no place in our lives. Reject the temptation to cheat yourself and your family of the glory that is bacon, cooked slow.

A family breakfast of waffles and slow-cooked bacon is a magical way to start a Lord’s Day. We can teach our children that the frenzied pace of life in 21st Century America is not necessarily the good and godly life. The heavenly alternative to our cultural frenzy is an eternal life (beginning now) without microwaves; a life of unhurried basking in the goodness of God’s gifts. Cooking bacon properly is a performative sermon about the nature of godly virtues. Virtues are cared for, watched closely, and given time to perfect. The young will taste them and want more. There are no microwaved shortcuts to godliness and good bacon only comes to those who cook it right.