You Might Be Emergent If…

…you meet enough of these criteria. I think I’m guilty of enough of them to possibly be convicted in a court of law, although I would tie myself to the porch columns of Machen Hall when they come to take me away.

HT to See Life Differently for the link.

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18 Responses to “You Might Be Emergent If…”

  1. JDR Says:

    HMMMMMMMMM…..

    Yea. I think I fit.

  2. Michaela Says:

    Hahahaha.

    I’m glad to know I don’t fit enough of those….I still feel safe.

  3. garver Says:

    I, on the other hand, am being to get worried.

  4. garver Says:

    Er…that would be “beginning” to get worried. :-/

  5. Mark Traphagen Says:

    Joel,

    Are you sure that wasn’t a Freudian typo? Is worry perhaps the true identity of your “being”? Are you worried that I’m pressing you about that? Are you worried that you might be worried that I’m pressing you about that?

    Man…it might be worse than you thought. You really should worry!

  6. Mark Traphagen Says:

    Michaela wrote:

    I’m glad to know I don’t fit enough of those….I still feel safe.

    Is it because of the “single white male” thing? Cheer up…you make great “emergent girlfriend” material!

  7. Geof F. Morris Says:

    Cheer up…you make great “emergent girlfriend” material!

    “Look at her Bible! It’s soooooooo big! I bet she’s one of those Christian rap guys’ girlfriends.”

  8. Mark Traphagen Says:

    Hmmmm….sounds like time to dig out the “She’s Got Big Bibles” video again.

  9. Michaela Says:

    Hahahaa….

    Well let’s see….

    I *do* have that tattoo (very similar!)….but it’s not on my leg, so it’s all good.

    I don’t know whether I’m American or British, but both have me in trouble there…

    I don’t have a Mac….

    I knew 7 of the 9 names….(gulp)

    I LOVE Guinness…but not over here…. :)

    I have been found reading The Divine Conspiracy, Travelling Mercies, And Beyond Foundationalism (and I’ve discussed, but only read parts of the others…and I’ve read other Foster and Wright books…)

    I do cuss sometimes…

    I listen to both the U2 and Crowder albums (and other Stevens albums)…

    I don’t have an iPod….

    The negative and positive words, I almost entirely flip around (I love Carson and innerrancy and absolute truth)…

    I would never have a Christian Liberal sticker….

    I drive a 92 Blazer….not whatever fancy car that one is….

    Those pictures aren’t me and my worship services don’t look like that….

    I have no idea what a “Prayer Lamp” is….

    So that’s my score. Am I still okay?

  10. Mark Traphagen Says:

    OK…you squeak by. But you’ll have to sit in the back, and if you snicker just once at the “spontaneous worshp art,” you’re history.

  11. jason Says:

    I’m closer than I thought, but my worship services don’t look like an outdoor cake walk (if anyone remembers the cake walk from the school carnival . . . Buehler? . . . Buehler?)

  12. Mark Traphagen Says:

    Jason:

    I’d never heard of a cake walk until I moved to the south…where they actually do such things.

    Also, beware…”cake” has a special meaning to the RMFO folk who visit here, right Geof?

  13. Geof F. Morris Says:

    Also, beware…”cake” has a special meaning to the RMFO folk who visit here, right Geof?

    RIGHT! [I still blame Trey.]

    As for cakewalks, I’ve never seen one in the South, but we did them yearly in the elementary school I attended in Ohio. [I want to say that we did them as a part of our "Winter Holidays" festivities.]

    [I will leave the jokes about giving cake to small children as an exercise for the demented RF user.]

  14. Michaela Says:

    WOW. I totally forgot about cake walks. We had them every year at our little Christian school “fun fair”.

    *Cues Memories*

  15. Matthew Bowman Says:

    Well, I think I can safely say I’m not emergent. I fit about the same number as Michaela (although not necessarily the same ones). I don’t know what that makes me (maybe divergent?).

  16. Mark Traphagen Says:

    Matt:

    In my book, you are ubermergent

  17. Matthew Bowman Says:

    I don’t know what that means anymore than emergent, but anything with “uber” in it sounds cool. :-)

  18. dennis Says:

    Does that mean when fully emerged, Matt will be an ubermensch or an ubermodel? How emergent does it make one if they know Derrida, but think most of the emergent writers seem to be playing games with their postmodernity?

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