last weekend i had gone to nashville again to visit my internet friends and go to the andrew peterson christmas show. this year it wasn’t so much about the show, it was about seeing my friends. the show was great, of course, but i found it to be anticlimatic. seeing how the musicians had such a strong bond with each other which pretty much made me really appreciate the show differently from the past two years. just a group of friends who get together every year and play a show, that is fellowship. i had written a post while i was waiting in the nashville airport for my flight home. this is not that post, i’ll show that one later. funny thing, some little punk kid sat next to me and looked over my shoulder as i wrote. i hate that. its like someone staring over your shoulder when you’re typing.
i just finished reading ‘through painted deserts‘. its probably the fastest i’ve read a book. one week and i am now done. i loved it. there were moments were tears welled up, moments of laughter, and it was all real. i wish that it’d be made into a movie, but i figure don miller has to get a bit more popular. the past few months after the hurricane, i’ve really gotten this feeling to simplify my life. when i saw elizabethtown, all i could think of was how i want to start over doing something i want to do. and now reading through painted deserts, i’m presented again with the idea of not worrying about getting all the ’stuff’, but just to enjoy God. i have thought seriously about moving again, and i’ve been searching for jobs. a few have really caught my eye, like fire inspector. but none of those jobs are open near nashville right now. i know i’d have to take a paycut probably, but i’d be doing something i like…well, i think so anyway. i could buy a smaller house and live simpler. and i think if i got enough for my house, i’d be able to pay off my car. it all sounds so easy. i’ve been praying a lot about it, and i really want to do it. i want to finish fixing my house obviously, and that’ll probably be done by the end of january. five months, i really didn’t think it would take that long, and compared to some people, that’s getting things fixed really fast. just a fact of life down here these days i guess.
in one of the first chapters of the book, don talks about how he doesn’t have keys to anything. they’re living out on the road, and he doesn’t have keys. to be able to live so freely makes me jealous a little bit. i remember when i would finish a semester at clemson, i’d have that ‘no responsibility’ feeling after finals were over. i said a few times “i owe nothing to anyone”…and it would be true, for about 4 weeks, then i’d go back to school. when i graduated, i didn’t really find a job very fast, but instead of just enjoying the time God gave me, i put pressure on myself and really doubted a lot. i only got over things when i got over myself.
the past few months, i’ve felt like just enjoying life. my job is my job, and its fine for now, but my life is my friends. i remember when a group of my friends from work got together at andy’s house, and we put up this volleyball set that he had gotten for making 5 years with the company. one of the poles was broken, so we wrapped that end around a pine tree, and proceeded to play. then i think we ate dinner and watched the apprentice. then there was that time i first went to my current bible study. we don’t even read the bible that much, but i’ve told them how its my most spiritual time of the week, just going on thursday nights and hanging out with the guys. the time jacob explained how he had cursed out a customer, i felt like i had finally found a group. i’ve never felt more part of a group before, and i thank God all the time for allowing me to know them.
i really don’t know where i’m going with all of this, but i think i’ve finally figured out what going with the flow means. i would say here that trey should have explained it, but then it wouldn’t have made sense at the time.