Bringing the Drama

i am stealing this idea from my friend kari who has originated the idea of writing letters to different people, corporations, and inanimate objects. i hope that my letters can come close to her’s.

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dear target,
i went looking for matches in your store this evening only to find i was unable to purchase them. i did in fact find the aisles with all of your candle varieties, birthday candles, AND camping gear. none of these areas of the store had them. i also went to the front near the check outs and found several lighters. i just wanted matches. please make them more accessible.

still running out of matches at home,
scott

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dear people who are new to quizno’s,
most sub places are the same, you step to the end of the line where they make your sandwich, and pay at the other end, the one with the register. the clearly labeled and neoned “ORDER HERE” sign should tell you where to order. please don’t waste time at the end of the line where you pay, and then make people who are behind you in the order line wait while you figure this out.

tired of waiting for people to catch up,
scott

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dear sara watkins,
i admit, you were once my celebrity crush. i met you after a show in birmingham in september and we talked about music. i offered you my number, but you indirectly refused. i understand, i actually was expecting that, but offered anyway to say i did it. kind of like why people go bungee jumping i would think. i did not purposely move on, but circumstances have proven otherwise. i hope your solo album turns out well, and the final year of nickel creek tours extensively in the south.

still a fan,
scott

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dear kelly clarkson,
i very much enjoyed your concert over the summer, as did many of my friends. your concert was the most fun show i’ve been to this year, and i have now been to 20 different shows. i don’t think the death cab show next week will be able to overtake your’s. i saw you today on a rerun of a cmt special on reba, and was blown away by your rendition of “why haven’t i heard from you”. please find a way to incorporate that cover into your live show for next summer. you are touring next summer, right? i now have a celebrity crush on you. i hope that’s okay. my friend brandi met you after the cmt special (she works for the reeb), and said you were cool. next time you’re in nashville, y’all should hang out, she’s good people. i’ll be there in the middle of december, so in case you’re going to be recording or something, we could hang out.

hopeful yet realistic,
scott