Bringing the Drama

so my friend chris got married this past weekend and i stood in the wedding. i was NOT the shortest groomsman! going back to clemson was fabulous once again.

the bachelor party involved a limo, which was cool cause i hadn’t ridden in one since prom. the best man picked out a very interesting restaurant where we ate Elk, Ostrich, Alligator, Emu, and Kangaroo. how awesome is that? VERY. and it was very very tasty and good. our waiter was a little creepy with trying to learn all of our first names, but other than that dinner was fantastic.

friday morning involved meeting in the hotel lobby to ride over to the venue to help set up. i’ve been involved in the wedding party 3 times before this, but this was the first time i had to do any manual labor like setting up tables and chairs. however, when your friends are having to pay for most of the wedding you are more than glad to help them out. the place the wedding and rehearsal were taking place had one lady who worked there, and even she wasn’t very helpful. she was late arriving friday morning, which we didn’t really like because we could have slept off Thursday a little more. oh well. the venue was an old plantation home, and once everything was set up, it looked great. we were able to leave around lunch time and hit up some local Clemson joints for pizza and milkshakes. chris and i were the only ones who had gone to Clemson, so it was kind of cool to take people around.

the rehearsal was easy, and the dinner had a DJ, so there was dancing. i was inspired by Chris’s Uncle Howard (who i had met at dinner Thursday) to dance. i watched him dance Friday and realized i probably wasn’t too much worse than him. he was having so much fun, so i figured i should try it out. once more people were on the dance floor, it was a lot of fun. although being on the line facing the tables trying to do a line dance is not cool when you don’t really know the moves. improvisation can only get you so far and only save you so much embarrassment. after we got back to the hotel, a group of us went and threw the frisbee around on bowman field. it was amazing. one of the campus workers came and told us the sprinklers would be coming on soon, and we should move, so we did. a few minutes later two sprinklers came on and they were shooting 30 feet into the air. it was actually very beautiful and i wish i had gotten a picture of it.

another late night Friday made Saturday a long day. the wedding party had to be at the plantation early Saturday for more setting up. thankfully we were done by lunch time, so we were able to meet up with my friend Bill and his new wife for lunch. it was great seeing them and hearing about what they thought of the UK. on the way back to the hotel, i bought a new hat to replace a retiring model. i will explain tomorrow.

we arrived at the plantation on time Saturday and i went and changed. it was hot. we walked out to line up behind the big tree in preparations to walk down the aisle. it was really hot. i escorted Chris’s mom to the front and took my position on the steps of the porch. it was really really hot. by the time everyone took their places including the couple, i was sweating. the best man was also sweating, and i couldn’t tell about the bride’s stepbrother behind me. the unity candle ceremony seemed like it took 30 minutes. the soloist’s song also seemed like it took forever (is that seriously a third verse?). i could see the sweat coming off of Chris’s face. finally, the ceremony ended and we all walked out. nobody fell which was amazing considering the terrain of the front yard.

the reception was ridiculous fun. i danced the night away and was able to totally nail the Cupid Shuffle (i probably could have watched the instructional video before Friday instead of learning ‘on the job’). i had heard the song played at Hornets games during the year and couldn’t help but try to groove in my seat. on the dance floor Saturday, i totally owned it. word. also, found out the guy is from Lafayette, so i felt proud of my fellow Louisiana resident. more dancing, more sweating, but way fun. a group of us had stopped at the new walmart to get some car decorating equipment, but i foolishly forgot the shaving cream in my hotel room, so now i have 5 cans of regular Barbosol. i don’t know what i’m going to do with it. even without the shaving cream, i think we did a fabulous job decorating. we actually had WHITE SHOE POLISH, inflatable beach balls, and empty cans to tie to the back. as the wedding party we again had to help tear down the tables and chairs, but i ended up walking out with half a bottle of champagne and a vase full of roses (it was kind of like wedding stuff fire sale). free champagne aside, it was a great great weekend.

one of my friends at work (i can call him friend, because we are friends on facebook) is going to be moving to Houston at the end of this week. our supervisor decided to throw a party for him today. i signed up to bring a pie to the party, so i went to the grocery store this morning to get some of the ingredients i needed. first, i made a list using one of the pads i get from a local realtor team. they send these flyers with their names (it’s a husband and wife ‘team’) talking about how great they are, and usually send a pad of list conducive paper. anyway, i made the list and headed off. i got all the things i needed, and remembered i needed to get some deodorant. i have been using old spice high endurance red zone, and have noticed the names of their scents have gone from “fresh” and “sport” to things like “after hours” and “showtime”. i’ve been using “showtime” almost exclusively for about 8 months. i saw today a new scent….”swagger”. i thought that was cool, until i looked closer at the label. it says explicitly on the label “official scent of confidence”. AWESOME! i bought it. here’s picture proof of the label….

the party was on the westbank, so chad and i took the chalmette ferry across the river. it was great, because on the way there, we were the 2nd to last car on the ferry. it was perfect timing. the way back we didn’t have that good of luck, but it was only a dollar, which was better than what i thought the fare would be. we got out on both trips and took pictures. the way back involved the ferry waiting after shoving off near the westbank side for a GIANT tanker to pass.

the party itself was a bit awkward. work parties usually are, especially when the whole department is invited, because inevitably the people that no one really likes or talks to also show up. i don’t like talking about work outside of work either, so some of the conversations today i tried to avoid. it was good to see some of my work friends outside of work though. i just wish we could talk about something other than management re-orgs!

so last weekend i went to stand in my friend Bill’s wedding. one of the things i picked up during the course of the weekend, that when i get married, i’m going to give my groomsmen a detailed schedule with times on it. i had NO IDEA what time things would start, i didn’t even know the details for the rehearsal until the evening before. i didn’t actually get free time until after the ceremony and reception, which was okay, but i thought i’d have more of it earlier. oh well.

last friday we went and played golf with some of Celeste’s family. the day was burned into memory by things like the dude walking the course accusing us of scuffing the greens with our shoes. he failed to notice 3 out of 4 people in our group had tennis shoes on, and i was the only one with ’spikes’. i wasn’t scuffing the greens though, i know how to walk. also, before the round started, celeste’s grandpa gets a plastic bag out of the car and says: “hey guys, i brought this sack of balls if you need any extra.” the rest of the day whenever someone needed a ball (because we would lose balls left and right) we would say “hey, can you hand me earl’s ball sack?” i know, it’s juvenile humor, but it was hysterical, okay? the golf was a lot of fun, and i had some pretty good shots finishing up the round.

the rehearsal was fine. again though (for the 2nd time) i was considered the shortest groomsman. i don’t know what it is. i’m 5′9″, but both times i’ve had to stand for a wedding, i’ve been the shortest. my friends just have other friends that are giant, and i can’t do anything about it. for our groomsman gift, we got gold cuff links with the south carolina palmetto tree and moon on them. they are really nice. the rehearsal dinner was great, our table was awesome, and so was the food. i hadn’t really met many of the groomsmen before. one i had met one time in 2000, and another i had met and hung out with, but hadn’t seen in 7 years. it was a cool group for sure.

the wedding itself went well, nobody fell or anything, and the delay caused by the forgetting of one of the rings at a house didn’t cause problems. the reception was a lot of fun, even though it rained. i even got out on the dance floor. however, the first song, everyone else just stood around and watched the wedding party dance. i felt like i was a zoo exhibit! i can’t really dance to start with, but i knew how Shout! went. i even tried to do a couple of line dances, but it was ugly. one of Brandi’s friends had written about being “that girl” at weddings, and i might have been “that guy”, although i was told i didn’t look as awkward as i felt. it was SO HOT and i was excited to finally rid myself of the 100% polyester tux later that afternoon. incidentally, if they could make tux shirts out of that material that they use for running clothes, that would be awesome.

post reception and ceremony, my friend Rachel and i went and threw the frisbee out on Bowman, which was great. after a walk around campus remembering how awesome it was to be in college, we ate dinner where i finally got to drink a beer. it was a long and sometimes stressful weekend, so to be able to decompress over calabash chicken and Corona was fantastic.

oh, and i was able to talk to both of Bill’s parents, neither of whom i had really ever met. i talked to his mom for a few minutes, and she told me how she met her husband. it was pretty great. i even got to give her a hug. she took the picture below….

i get to do it all again next weekend. more golf, more sweating, more awkward dancing, more of everything!

the other day at work, the older guy (cue ball) who sits near me (lately he’s mostly been reading the paper and reworking a vacation where he will be traveling 20 something hours by train each way) had a group around one of his desks (he has 3) where everyone was paying attention. i was talking to my friend brandon about game 6 of the finals or something, and i turned around to see the group intently watching cue ball write or draw something. around the desk were BO guy, brown nose, and cue ball. none of them really have a grasp on what’s going on, so it was funny to see them all concentrating on this one thing. it couldn’t have been that important. it was like dwight and andy intently watching creed write something.

i’ve decided to start writing the work stories down or keeping track of them, because a lot of stuff has been happening lately where i think “i feel like i’m on tv or something”. some of the stuff that happens is so ridiculous, if it wasn’t actually happening to me, i would have a hard time believing some of it.

so i saw this commercial while watching Game 6 (sorry Mamba, maybe next year!) and remembered how much i liked it. it’s an ad for a minivan….but i’m not ashamed. i love the song, i grew up listening to classic rock (thanks dad!), plus it’s on guitar hero 3. honda is awesome.

so let me first say that most of my posts are written from the “hey, let me tell you this funny story” than a freaked out viewpoint. like the last post, it wasn’t about road rage or anything, it was that i FLIPPED OFF AN AMBULANCE! i thought it was funny, so i typed about it. one of my friends at work the other day thought i was mad about it, but i really wasn’t. a lot of stuff happens to me in the car because i commute everyday, so i have a wealth of experience to draw from. i’ve been saying this entirely too much lately but….”don’t worry about it!”

so this week at work was not without it’s drama, and it seems i’m being thrown in the deep end of the pool with some new assignments. we ’seem’ to have new direction now, and after ANOTHER re-org of the management, maybe we have a better shot of actually designing a spaceship. who knows though? if it’s not one thing it’s another lately, and we still have the annoying people who only care about doing things that make them look good. i’m finding it hard not to be cynical about the current state of things.

this summer (specifically THIS MONTH) i am doubling my all time “number of weddings i’ve stood in” number. this weekend i’m heading up to Clemson for my friend Bill’s wedding. i met Bill my 4th year at Clemson. my old roommate Rusty and i would go out with FCA on Friday nights because they’d get people together to go out to eat. so one Friday, we weren’t really doing anything, so we went out to Ruby Tuesday. we met Bill that night, and then just kind of hit it off. nights of hilarity involving Conker’s Bad Fur Day are legendary, as well as road trips to Clemson football games and concerts. he’s another one of my friends who i can not talk to for weeks and then pick up the phone and pick right back up from where we left off. i kind of love that, because i’m really bad about keeping in touch with people…(unless you’re on facebook, which somewhat ashamedly, i am pretty good about keeping in touch).

(fyi, yes that IS the girl who Bill is marrying….Celeste )

i’m also excited about getting up to Clemson because i have not been there since last summer when i was in Scott’s wedding. i LOVE going to Clemson. i’ll get off the interstate and get that feeling of ‘home’. of course, it won’t be my last trip for a while because i have my friend Chris’s wedding also in Clemson, in two weeks. i actually looked into flying for one of the weekends, but the airline prices were a bit outrageous.

the new carpool has been working out well. the only problem so far is getting back on the interstate in the afternoons, because i have to get through a lot of traffic. most of it is caused by people who think they’re too good to sit through the first light again, so they move up and block intersections to be included in the next pack of cars to go through the 2nd light. or maybe an 18 wheeler doesn’t want to wait, so he’ll block up an entire lane until someone lets him in.

the stage is set…..so Tuesday afternoon i’m in the turn lane to turn onto the interstate, about 6 cars back of the front of the line. the light turns green with the arrow and everything, and the line of cars isn’t really moving too fast. i notice there’s an ambulance half blocking the intersection. the lights or sirens weren’t on, but it was blocking the intersection just because the driver thought they were too good to be the first car in the next group of cars at the 1st light, they had to be the last car at the 2nd light, and it didn’t matter if it inconvenienced other people. cars were still able to get around, barely. as i drove up and got even, i looked at the driver and started honking my horn. it was some lady, and as she finally turned around to look at me, i flipped her off. we definitely made eye contact as i drove by too. yes, that’s right, i flipped off an ambulance. i had learned my lesson about not letting people get by when they are being stupid behind the wheel and i didn’t care that just because this lady was in an ambulance, she had the right to disregard other people and be a jerk. i have no idea if she will think next time before she has an opportunity to block an intersection, but at least i felt better about making it known that someone didn’t appreciate it.

also today i blew my horn at some guy who was sticking out into other lanes of traffic because he didn’t want to wait at an earlier light. he looked at me like i was crazy, but i wasn’t the middle aged guy in a white Mustang half blocking a lane of traffic.

the past few weeks my Roomba has been on the fritz. he wouldn’t charge even though he was sitting on the charger and the charger light was on. i really had no need to freak out about that, i just figured eventually things would work out. Saturday night i was having people over, so i tried again to get Roomba working. no dice. i called the customer service line to see what was up. upon explaining to the kind hearted individual on the other end of the line the problems Roomba was having, the problem was a bad charger and a bad Roomba. my original Roomba, tried and true for almost two years, had lost the ability to be a Roomba. realizing this awful news, i held it together enough to hear what my options were. i could get a new Roomba to replace my current and now broken one, or i could upgrade. i’m not really interested in upgrading, but i think by the end of this week, i’ll call and get a new Roomba. it will be hard to say farewell to my original Roomba though, he has served me well. here’s a picture of the good times:

yesterday when i got home, i set about to cut the grass. i’ve had the same pair of old Nike cross trainers that i’ve been wearing to do any and all yard work in. i don’t really have another pair of junky shoes, so the ones i had were important. i first got them back in 2003 i think, at least 2004, because they were silver. i used to call them astronaut shoes. anyway, they helped to get me motivated to run way back when, but then once i got new shoes, the cross trainers were demoted to yard work. they served well, until yesterday. apparently yard work and this particular pair of shoes didn’t really work very well. i don’t really use chemicals that much, but maybe the fertilizer i’ve used caused the shoes to start to breakdown. i had duct taped the shoes together around the midsection to prevent further damage, and this method was fine. yesterday however, things just fell apart, literally. as i was cutting the grass in the backyard, and air unit from my right heel just fell off. i threw it to the patio and kept cutting. as i was cutting the front yard, the front part of my left shoe just started to fall off. this part was even taped! the tape was not holding! it was awful. i finished cutting the grass and removed my yard shoes for the last time. i took a picture for posterity, but now must find a pair of shoes to demote, or maybe just buy a cheap pair of velcro shoes from walmart (as suggested by new carpool team member Bryce).