(sorry for the downer post, but i just felt like typing this. more fun update before i leave for Big D tomorrow morning)

A couple of weeks ago I had posted on FB that I wanted a job where I could be respected. It was only partly in jest. They are moving our desks at work, and after a year or so of sitting near BO guy, they’re going to move me next to KCOG. I’ve tried to ask to move, like our manager who set out the seating chart mentioned we could do in the staff meeting. I did what he said to do by going to talk to our admin, who told me there were plenty of other people who asked to move. The seating arrangement doesn’t make any sense. His response to this, instead of just talking to each person, asking them why they wanted to move, and then making a decision, was to just rule out all requests. As if it was too hard to deal with things. Way to energize the team!

The way the desks are set up, the one opening to my new cube will be facing KCOG’s desk. KCOG seems to like to eavesdrop when I’m talking to people at desks around him as it is, so now he’s going to have a direct line of sight to me so he can listen in to phone conversations, what I’m doing on my computer, listening when people stop by. He’s the one person in my entire department I would not want to sit next to. I’d take sitting next to BO Guy (same distance away) because least he doesn’t kind of stalk people. We had reached an unspoken accord where he didn’t bother me much at all, at least directly. The loud phone calls to IT every other day didn’t help, but at least he wasn’t getting into my business. How KCOG wasn’t fired after the Christmas party fiasco is an unsolved mystery.

I’m not sure if any of this has to do with my manager’s belief that I’m a short-timer. The leadership program I’m in requires me to move between departments, which I have done, but I’m done with that aspect of it now. I have been in my current department over two years, and still get stuck working with guys like White Shoes, who do not know how to design. I’ve been the one changing the design of the parts we have a stake in, and I’m not even supposed to be the designer. He’s the manager’s golden boy, so he leads meetings, he gets responsibilities that I think maybe should get. At least someone else should get them so as to put a better face to the department. Whatever, none of that has changed.

The past few months I’ve been applying to jobs in Birmingham, and last week found a job in Nashville. It’s been a dream to move to Nashville for a very long time. There are not many engineering type jobs in Nashville, but one came up last week. The job posting said it was going to be listed until August 18. I went online last night (August 17) and the listing was gone. This was frustrating, because I was actually looking forward to applying for it, and even though I might have not been the best qualified, I would have written a great cover letter. The job I had applied for here to get a promotion got canceled, so it’s almost as if doors keep closing on me.

The funny thing is, a few years ago I hated NOLA, but liked my job. Now it’s the complete opposite. I don’t like going to work and being under-appreciated and undervalued. I want to do something that matters.