August 26th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
by sillyjoe (Life and Introspection)
Do you ever miss the old days? When life was simpler? When your friendships were simpler?
I do.
It’s been an interesting couple of days. A couple of days that now made me realize that I’ve been fooled for a while. Even lied to. And I’m not quite sure what to think about that. I don’t know how to react. Part of me says to smile, nod, and move on…but I don’t think that part of me’s being very honest with myself. You see, it turns out that someone who I thought I was very close to has been lying to me about a certain part of their life. Which is their right, I suppose. But best friends aren’t supposed to live a lie like that to each other for three months of their lives. At least…I don’t think so. Maybe I’m wrong.
But my emotions are pretty torn right now. Part of me wants to be really angry. And I keep telling myself this is righteous anger. And then I think that amongst people like myself righteous anger is a bit of an oxymoron. I take whatever anger may have to potential to be righteous anger and inject a good amount of my sinfulness into it. In any event, other parts of me want to just crawl into a hole and cry for a while. I feel betrayed. I really do. And now, because of this one three month long charade, the course of mine and this other person’s lives could be changed forever. I mean forever. And part of me says that I’m reading too much into this, and making it a bigger deal than it should be…but other parts say “No, you were LIED TO!”
I pray that God would give me discernment in this situation. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t know what to do.
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August 22nd, 2006 at 11:41 pm
by sillyjoe (Adventures in Randomosity, Life and Introspection, Music)
Fall is coming. My friends from all over the country have returned to Jefferson City for another year of school at Carson-Newman. I just did my re-interview for this year at Yoke Youth Ministries. Life is good. I’m learning a lot, lately. Work is going surprisingly well, and I feel I’m being given more responsibility as time goes on…which is good. However, I must admit, I’m just counting time till I can leave Ruby’s and do what I REALLY want to do…work with the church full-time. We’re not there yet, nor will we be for a while…but steps are being taken, and that’s all that matters. I’ve been getting a lot of new music lately, and watching new movies, and other assorted such things. I just got Matthew Perryman Jones’s new cd, Throwing Punches In The Dark. It’s quite good. I’d never really listened to MPJ’s stuff that much, but I had listened to the song “Refuge” on the Square Peg site over and over…so I had to buy this album. It’s really really good. Also got Sandra McCracken’s new one, Gravity | Love, which is of course good. I found out that my boy Wertz is releasing a cd next month. You can preorder that @ awarestore.com, so check that out as well. Well…this started out as an update post and ended up as a music post…so…whatever. I’m tired. I got really freakin’ sick last night, because of my back. For anyone who knows me, you know I have a bad back. Well, when my back starts hurting, my neck starts hurting, and then I get a headache, which makes me nauseous. Well, this doesn’t usually lead to any sort of upchucking…unfortunately, last night…it did. I ran out of food to vomit, so I ended up puking bile. Good times.
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