i miss those days…

August 26th, 2006 at 12:46 pm by sillyjoe (Life and Introspection)

Do you ever miss the old days? When life was simpler? When your friendships were simpler?

I do.

It’s been an interesting couple of days. A couple of days that now made me realize that I’ve been fooled for a while. Even lied to. And I’m not quite sure what to think about that. I don’t know how to react. Part of me says to smile, nod, and move on…but I don’t think that part of me’s being very honest with myself. You see, it turns out that someone who I thought I was very close to has been lying to me about a certain part of their life. Which is their right, I suppose. But best friends aren’t supposed to live a lie like that to each other for three months of their lives. At least…I don’t think so. Maybe I’m wrong.

But my emotions are pretty torn right now. Part of me wants to be really angry. And I keep telling myself this is righteous anger. And then I think that amongst people like myself righteous anger is a bit of an oxymoron. I take whatever anger may have to potential to be righteous anger and inject a good amount of my sinfulness into it. In any event, other parts of me want to just crawl into a hole and cry for a while. I feel betrayed. I really do. And now, because of this one three month long charade, the course of mine and this other person’s lives could be changed forever. I mean forever. And part of me says that I’m reading too much into this, and making it a bigger deal than it should be…but other parts say “No, you were LIED TO!”

I pray that God would give me discernment in this situation. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t know what to do.