Monday, November 1st, 2010
so many years…writing this. looking. seeing. remembering. can’t place it all together. everything jumbles…nothing changes.
i’ll try to be clear…it’s not easy. i’m losing control of the memories. i’ve done everything too many times. worst of all…i lost the count. i…i lost it. i don’t know when i am anymore. i don’t want to go on, but it doesn’t stop. it never stops. it just keeps going, everything, all over again.
i just want to rest. i can’t. there is no rest for me. please god…kill me. please.