Friday, November 5th, 2010
December 25, 1991
The world is so much more delicate than I realized, more than anyone realizes. Tiny little variations cause immense change. Quantum uncertainty and chaos mathematics play out at the macro level in a way that no one can anticipate; and since my life is currently the only laboratory for this information, it is unlikely anyone will know for a very long time. It’s the little things<<<!//FILE CORRUPTED. ERROR LOGGED.//<<<
No more memory gaps like Iteration 4 have cropped up, thankfully. (In the absence of another suitable term, I’m calling these lives of mine “iterations.”) I’m starting to come around to the idea that it was a one-time fluke. But I’m also starting to give up the ghost on my long-dead marriage – she’s hated me every time, like she can just feel something is wrong with me. It is a bitter pill to swallow, but I have had many lifetimes to grieve; perhaps I should try actually moving on, rather than trying to fix everything all the time.
Perhaps in the spirit of moving on, I’ve been systematically studying every field of science that might lead me to an answer for the only question I have left in life: What am I?