Hi friends! I am alive!

The past two weeks have pretty much been a blur. Last Monday at 5:00am we loaded up 32 kids and adults and drove to Ridgecrest, NC for youth camp. It was an amazing week that pretty much stressed out every muscle in my body and every wave in my brain, and I am only now beginning to emerge back into the real world.

Camp was an interesting experience this year. Last year, everything was crazy high energy and emotional and big and loud. And this year… wasn’t. I don’t know if it was the staff, or the schedule, or just excessively high expectations, but everything just felt slower and more mellow.

And it was awesome.

At first the kids were struggling with it. They were expecting the insanity we experienced last year. When they got teambuilding instead of competition and parables and discussion instead of naptime disguised as bible study, they didn’t quite know what to do. But by the end of the week I think they were glad for it. All that intense competition and those big emotional nights are gratifying while they’re happening, but they’re hard to translate into everyday life.

We had several kids who were taking their first trip with our group (and some taking their first non-parent trip EVER), and there’s no better way to get to know people than to ride on a crowded van for 12 hours and sleep in a bed with them. The trick now will be figuring out how to walk alongside all these new relationships and support them when real life claws its way back in.

We made it through 99% of the week injury-free… and ended the week with a midnight dash to the emergency room. The night before we left one of our sixth grade boys got his finger slammed in a heavy door. I will spare you the really gross details and instead tell you that he handled it like a champ and we all survived, even those of us who had to drive home the next morning on three hours sleep.

I love camp so much. I love the crazy games and the morning services and the funny videos and the inside jokes and the late night dance parties and the puff painted tshirts and the teambuilding games and the new people and the bonding and the church group time. I can’t think of much better than to have a job where I get paid to do camp. I would do it for free in a heartbeat.

Top 12! Next week it all gets mixed up. Hopefully without Thayne.

PERFORMANCE SHOW

OK, seriously. Where do they find these dresses for Cat? This one is much better than last week, but still. Y’all. I know there are better dresses out there.

Jidges! Our guest judge this week is Mia Michaels in a Debbie Gibson hat. Mary is 80’s drag queening it up, as per usual.

Here we go!

Chelsie and Mark. First up they get the salsa, which should be good for Chelsie.

Dudes, I think Mark is my overall favorite. He can sell these things. They look great, even though Chelsie is a little more smiley, less sexy. They do this intense spinning combo where they keep linking arms on opposite sides and Chelsie is just spinning around and around and around Mark. It’s very cool. They end with her up on his shoulders and then they do this sweeping dismount where Chelsie just about busts her teeth on the floor.

Nigel thought they were great but Mark could have relaxed a bit and is, again, skeevy about Chelsie’s outfit. Mary compliments Mark’s partnering ability and says he is strong and passionate. She calls Chelsie phenomenal and says she is ‘beautiful dynamite’. Mary says they were smokin’ hot and they danced it really well. She calls Mark a star and an actor, which I have been saying for weeks. I should totally be a judge on this show.

Their second routine is broadway. This should be fun! Mark calls her ‘hot and stuff’. Love him.

They are dancing to that song that says “I’m a woman, W-O-M-A-N”. She’s dancing all mad because she has to do his socks and pay the bills and make a man out of him, and he’s kind of following her around begging her to love him. But who wouldn’t love him? I mean. Really. It’s fun, with lots of character and big expressive movements. The routine kind of loses steam in the middle, I think, but overall I really like it.

Nigel says it was hotter than the 110 degrees it was in Vegas when he was there last week. Fascinating. He calls Chelsie all legs and says they were great. Mary calls them sultry, sexy, bluesy. Mia thought it was fun and entertaining, and that even though it showed Mark’s lack of technique he performed amazingly. She deems it ‘cool’.

Comfort and Thayne. They get hip hop with Tabitha and Napoleon. So it’s not so much hip hop as it is ‘hip hop’. Got it. Thayne says he doesn’t want to go out there and be like this goofy white guy trying to do hip hop. Um… sorry Thayne. It’s way too late.

She is good at this, which she should be, but I wasn’t sure if she would be, honestly. Thayne is… not. He’s about a half beat behind her the whole time. I think he’s supposed to be hitting on her and she is avoiding him, but neither of them are selling that story at all. There are a couple of beats in the music that are supposed to hit hard, and they just don’t. Not so much with this one.

Nigel talks about how awesome the choreography is, again, blah, meh. He says they didn’t pull the emotions off and they will be in the bottom three. Mary agrees and says they weren’t connecting at all and it was ‘just good’. Mia thought it was a little bit more than good, but it went downhill as the routine progressed. She really likes Comfort but she isn’t getting better with the show like she should. She also says she loves Thayne, which makes me question everything I’ve ever thought about Mia.

I got excited when I saw Mandy Moore in the audience earlier, but she’s choreographing their second routine. That makes me nervous. Mandy says she thinks Comfort can step it up and she’s giving them a difficult contemporary routine.

I just do not buy Comfort as a dancer, really, at all. Thayne is good in this… it’s perfect for his style of contemporary and he lays off the big smiles. But Comfort looks like she’s really struggling. I can’t really get into it. Plus the music is George Michael, which, no.

Nigel says the choreography was great but he would have preferred to see a different couple dance it. They are just not connecting. Mary agrees and says they just don’t have it. Mia tells Comfort she can only fake so much and criticizes their technique. She also says if they had performance value and connection it would have been a lot better. She praises Thayne again. Boo.

Jessica and Will. They’ve got a Tyce Diorio contemporary. I don’t think I knew he did that! They both feel really strongly about the piece and are totally trying to sell the ‘we are partners, 50-50’ thing. I hope that’s true!

Will is barely dressed, which I am totally in favor of. Hello, muscles. The routine is really beautiful… they do a lot of interesting tricks and it’s all so graceful and dynamic. There is barely music at all, just a girl kind of singing and breathing. It’s great.

Nigel says Jessica caught up with Will this week and they were great. (He also talks about the choreography but I’m not recapping that anymore. Just assume it happened.) Mary calls it one of the most amazing pieces she’s ever seen on the show. Mary calls it: body art, alive, a painting, a breath… and probably more crunchy words I can’t remember. She loved it.

Next up they draw a quickstep. This could go either way. The quickstep is a scary one.

It opens with Will tumbling across the stage, which is pretty awesome but not so ballroomy, I don’t think. The routine is super cute – it has a 50’s feel and lots of personality. I have no idea if they do the steps well, but it’s fun to watch. It has a lot of non-ballroom stuff that is great, but the ballroom stuff just seems okay, I think. I like it.

Nigel says all the non-quickstep parts were great, but the quickstep was not. Then! Mary says that she’s calling the fashion police on Will’s jacket! Mary! Who dresses like an extra on Dallas. She was not impressed. Mia brings her bitch out big time, talking about how Will looks like he’s tired of carrying Jessica and he needs a new partner. Wow.

Courtney and Gev. They pull a cha-cha with Anya and Pasha! I love Pasha. He’s my backup SYTYCD boyfriend. There’s a cute exchange where Anya, Pasha and Gev are all speaking Russian and Courtney has no idea what’s going on.

This? Is great. Really. They totally pull it off. Gev is the Dominic (or Sarah, really) of this season. He can do everything. They are sexy and fast and together and it all looks great. The choreography is very cool. The whole thing is just awesome.

Nigel says they are one of the best couples on the show as far as how well they work together. He thought the routine was fantastic. Mary screams that it was magic and praises Gev for being committed and passionate. Then she says hot-cha-cha! I say that all the time. She took my word. Then she screams about the hot tamale train and I am so over that. Mia calls it ‘fabulosity at its best’. Stop saying crazy things! She says they are not the best dancers on the show but their performance quality is amazing.

Next up they get a jazz routine with Mandy Moore. Fun!

They are dressed like they’re on safari and the whole routine is them fighting over a map and who knows how to get where they’re going. It’s really cute and Gev gets to pull out some breaker moves, and they are awesome. I think they do a lot of tricky lifts and moves and stuff, but you can hardly tell because it all looks so easy. It’s cute.

Nigel says it was fun but didn’t really have much substance. Mary disagrees and says there were some complicated things going on there. I knew it! Mia calls them one of her favorites and says they were great. I think we are close to running out of time because the judging keeps getting shorter.

Twitch and Kherington. They are krumping with Lil C. She is not going to be good at this. Get ready for the white girl hip hop face.

Hey! A hip hop routine that looks like hip hop! So exciting. I have found, as a general rule, that I watch the girls more than the guys during the routines. But this one is all about Twitch, and not just because I like him so much. His movements are bigger and harder and stronger. She’s good, though. I think they pull it off for the most part. They’re not always together and she is weaker, but overall I like it.

Nigel says they were good and Kherington was great until the last 16 bars. I don’t know a lot about keeping time in music, but in a 90 second piece, wouldn’t 16 bars be kind of a long time? He doesn’t think so, choosing instead to just pretend they didn’t happen. That’s fair. Mary says this is the first time she’s believed in this ‘krumping’ thing. What? The judges are on my nerves with this routine. She says Kherington was brilliant (no) and calls her GANGSTER. Because she knows. Mary calls it dirty and real and scary and says Twitch was amazing and Kherington did really well.

Their second routine is a smooth tango. Is that a thing? I didn’t know that.

I feel like this should be dramatic and interesting, but I am pretty bored by it. They seem bored, too… they have these weird faces on and I am not buying it at all. They’re supposed to be fighting, I think, but it doesn’t look like it. It doesn’t really look like anything.

Nigel says Twitch looked uncomfortable and his performance was dishonest. Mary liked the beginning and end but hated the middle. Mia gives us a dance philosophy lesson and says they didn’t have personality or commitment.

Katee and Joshua. Their first routine is the Viennese waltz where Joshua is a ghost and Katee is dancing with him but can’t see him.

Again! So good! I don’t usually love these slower ballroom routines, but this one is really nice. There are some great moments where he is reaching for her and she goes right past him. Because he’s a ghost! Why do I like that so much? I am lame. They’re not totally together the whole time, but they pull of some cool lifts and, I think, really pull off the emotions of it. I like it a lot.

Nigel calls Joshua ‘bouncy’, but that was the only thing he didn’t like. He compliments Katee’s movements and lines. Mary says the routine and the lifts were great but the dancing and technique were weak. Mia says Joshua was clumsy and rough, but that Katee is a gift to dance. Whoa.

Last dance! Finally! It’s a… Bollywood routine? What? Is that an actual style of dance? Or does it just mean ‘loosely based on Indian culture’?

Their costumes are AMAZING. Katee has beads and gold all over her and she looks beautiful. I’m not sure about this at first, but by the end I am totally sold. It’s so cool. They are bouncing around all over the place and at the same time doing these really intricate hand movements and poses. It’s great.

Nigel talks about how he’s wanted this style on the show for three years, but somehow, as the executive producer, he couldn’t make it happen. Lame. Then he talks about how the world needs to come together in dance instead of ‘what we’re doing at the moment’. Thanks for the life lesson there, Nige. Mary screams and yells and loved it. Mia thought it was fun and a great piece and talks a lot about world dance. Awesome.

My favorites: Courtney and Gev’s chacha, Katee and Joshua’s Bollywood
Least favorites: Comfort and Thayne’s everything, Twitch and Kherington’s tango

RESULTS SHOW

Wow, Cat’s hair looks terrible. Seriously. Is she sleeping when they dress her? Surely she is allowed to speak up for herself.

Group dance! Hip hop! This is mostly cool. Their jackets have glow in the dark stripes on them, and they turn out the lights for some of the routine. That part is less cool. I like it overall, though… there are a lot of sections where they are all in a bunch together and doing the exact same choreography and it’s really fun. I like it a lot. Thanks NapTab!

First two couples out are Comfort and Thayne and Katee and Joshua. Comfort and Thayne did a terrible hip hop routine and an even worse contemporary. Katee and Joshua danced a beautiful waltz and a really interesting Bollywood routine. Obviously Comfort and Thayne are in the bottom three. Am I right? Of course I am. Thanks for the fake drama, show.

Next two: Jessica and Will and Mark and Chelsie. Jessica and Will danced a contemporary that involved lots of Will, so, you know. Yes. Then they danced a quickstep that was really fun but not very quicksteppy. Mark and Chelsie did a muy caliente salsa and sultry dramatic broadway routine. Who’s in the bottom three? Will and Jessica. Dude, I bet they send her home. That is so wrong.

Last up we have Gev and Courtney and Twitch and Kherington. Gev and Courtney danced a super hot chacha and a super cute jazz routine. Twitch and Kherington krumped and tangoed and it was all very meh for me. And the couple in the bottom three is… Twitch and Kherington! Whoa. They were definitely worse, but I did not see that coming. Wow.

Our Very Special Dancers this week are from the Alvin Ailey Dance Company. I honestly don’t have the words to describe this to y’all. It’s so beautiful. If you’re not familiar with them, YouTube is your friend. For real.

Solo time. Comfort comes out first and runes around a lot. I don’t know y’all, I just don’t see it. She’s fine, I guess. Thayne is next and… well, he’s really good. It’s graceful and interesting and strong. I don’t like him, but his solo is good. Next up we have Jessica. Let’s see… floaty shirt, black tight shorts, rolling around on the floor, high kicks… yup, it’s a female contemporary solo. Better than Comfort, for sure, but boring. Will comes out shirtless. Smart move. He is all muscles and leaps and flips. The last girl out is Kherington. She has all the same elements as Jessica, but less compelling. Meh. Last up is Twitch, bringing us the only solo tonight that actually feels choreographed and planned in advance. But it ends with what looks like a failed shirt ripping, so that’s not so good.

Katy Perry kissed a girl and she liked it. And WOW, she is a bad performer.

Elimination time. They pull Kherington up first and call her brilliant. What? Really? She was obviously safe, but brilliant she was not. They don’t really like Jessica or Comfort, but the keep Jessica because sometimes she’s not awful. So sweet. Later Comfort!

Time for the guys, where we watch the judges pretend they had trouble before sending Thayne packing. Twitch is pulled out first and they say they are glad he was in the bottom three so we could see his solo. He is obviously safe. They tell Will he is as good as the Alvin Ailey guys (which, not quite), and they can’t lose him. Thayne is out. Awesome. He has a bright future ahead of him in toothpaste commercials.

I love it when things work out like I want them to. Top ten next week!

Some friends and I are doing a mix CD circle. The theme of this mix is ‘music from where you’re from’, which is completely awesome, as I am from Texas. Where all the good music comes from. Everyone knows that.

So! Here’s the CD I made. It has a very klassy title.

SCREW YOU, WE’RE FROM TEXAS
made by Brandi (hometown: Mesquite, TX)

1. That’s Right (You’re Not From Texas) – Lyle Lovett (hometown: Klein, TX)
This is how we want you to think we feel about you.

2. Don’t You Evah – Spoon (hometown: Austin, TX)
So you’ll know it’s not just about country music.

3. Luckenbach, Texas – Waylon Jennings (hometown: Littlefield, TX)
Every frat boy in Texas has a Luckenbach t-shirt.

4. Pride and Joy – Stevie Ray Vaughn (hometown: Oak Cliff, TX)
Your state doesn’t have a guitar player like him.

5. Peggy Sue – Buddy Holly (hometown: Lubbock, TX)
Did you know he was only 22 when he died? Me either.

6. I’m My Own Grandpa – Willie Nelson (hometown: Abbott, TX)
Willie Nelson’s voice just sounds like Texas.

7. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – Miranda Lambert (hometown: Lindale, TX)
Forget Carrie. This girl is what young country should sound like.

8. Three Days – Pat Green (hometown: San Antonio, TX)
He was a lot better before he ‘made it’. Damn you, Nashville!

9. How It Should Be (Sha Sha) – Ben Kweller (hometown: Greenville, TX)
I’ve spent a lot of time in Greenville. He’s the coolest thing about that place.

10. Opposite Way – Leeland (hometown: Baytown, TX)
This kid writes some beautiful songs. Seriously.

11. Murder (Or a Heart Attack) – Old 97’s (hometown: Dallas, TX)
I like this song because it’s about his dog.

12. Mercedes Benz – Janis Joplin (hometown: Port Arthur, TX)
This is a song of great social and political import.

13. Same Kind of Crazy – Delbert McClinton (hometown: Lubbock, TX)
This is possibly the truest love song I have ever heard.

14. Streets of Bakersfield – Buck Owens (hometown: Sherman, TX) & Dwight Yoakam
I’m cheating a bit, since Dwight’s not from Texas. But he should be.

15. Away – Toadies (hometown: Fort Worth, TX)
I lived in the same dorm room as their bass player, ten years later.

16. Sin Wagon – Dixie Chicks (hometown: Dallas, TX)
I will buy every record they ever put out.

17. I Thank You – ZZ Top (hometown: Houston, TX)
Sometimes I wish I was a guy so I could grow a ZZ Top beard.

18. She’s No Lady – Lyle Lovett (hometown: Klein, TX)
I could have put 22 Lyle Lovett songs on here and been totally happy with it.

19. Waiting On the Sun – Sixpence None the Richer (hometown: New Braunfels, TX)
In my next life I want to sing like Leigh Nash.

20. The Road Goes On Forever – Robert Earl Keen (hometown: Houston, TX)
This is the quintessential Texas storyteller song.

21. Beer Run – Todd Snider ((musical) hometown: San Marcos, TX)
If you don’t own any Todd Snider, go out right now and buy everything you find.

22. Screw You, We’re From Texas – Ray Wylie Hubbard (hometown: Austin, TX)
This is how we actually feel about you.

Do you ever have one of those days that starts off rocky and just goes downhill from there? The kind where you just keep talking, even though you know you should stop and you are annoyed with yourself for saying the words but they keep falling out of your mouth? The kind where all the stuff you were feeling good about turns out to not be so good after all?

I had that kind of day yesterday. And I was feeling pretty blah. Then I got in the car to find a live Lisa Loeb show playing on the radio. Lisa Loeb, the singer of “Stay”, the song that every girl my age knows every single word to, and also probably the only Lisa Loeb song anyone knows. And what song did she start singing right after I started listening? Stay! I couldn’t believe my good luck. I am always finding myself flipping over to a station just in time to hear the end of a song I love. But not this time! I tuned in just in time for that familiar acoustic guitar intro and Lisa singing, “You say… I only hear what I want to…” I turned it up, rolled down the windows, and sang and sang and sang.

I’m not saying it fixed all my problems. I’m not saying it negated all the crappy stuff that went down yesterday. But it certainly lightened my mood and made me evening better. And sometimes that’s all you can ask for.

Top 14! Woo-hoo! Sorry this is so late, we had guests this weekend and I didn’t want to force them to watch this with me. Some people just don’t understand Things That Are Awesome.

PERFORMANCE SHOW

CAT. What is that dress? Seriously. Is her hair red? What is happening?

Jidges! This week our guest jidges are Tabitha and Napoleon. Does that mean no hip hop routine? Or does it mean we get a REAL hip hop routine? Exciting!

Up first we have Will and Jessica. Because everyone is dancing twice, there’s no filler video. Awesome. They are performing a jive in some pretty boring costumes, but the routine is fun. They dance it well and look like they’re having a good time. It’s cute. They do this freaking awesome flip thing where he bends at the waist and she kind of dives over him and then he stands up and she flips under his legs around to the front. It’s awesome. I like this pretty well, which is saying a lot because I still do not like her.

Tabitha and Napoleon (Taboleon?) thought it was good and could see the fight in them. Mary says they nailed the tricks but missed some connections. She makes sure to sell Will to us a bit more. I feel like they are beating us over the head with him. Every week it’s “Will was great, Jessica was just okay.” Which is generally true, but give us a break already.

Their second routine is lyrical jazz with Mandy Moore. What is the difference between lyrical jazz and contemporary? It looks the same to me. They are dancing to “Alone” by Heart, which is pretty awesome. And… Wow. Y’all, I am a whole different person tonight. They are fantastic. The routine is sexy and dramatic and they are so so good. They do some amazing lifts and twists and, also, Will isn’t wearing a shirt. Two thumbs up for that. It’s really good.

Taboleon says Will was amazing and Jessica held it back, blah blah blah. That poor girl. I don’t particularly like her, but they are so harsh tonight. Mary thinks they were amazing, Jessica included. She puts them on the trainwoohoooooooooooooo. Nigel says they are fabulous and points out that Jessica is a great dancer. He calls them beautiful.

Comfort and Thayne. They get Broadway with Andy Blankenbueller and are doing a routine from West Side Story. And… I like it. A lot. It’s like I don’t even know myself anymore. Blast. The whole routine is really fun and they do a great job. It’s kind of a cat and mouse thing with him chasing her around the stage. The dancing looks great and they get the faces and emotions right. I enjoyed the whole thing. It’s like I don’t even know myself anymore.

Napitha thinks they have good chemistry and got the flirtiness dead on. Mary loves the new partnership and spends some time praising Comfort. Is there a point in the show when they stop saying that people were good ‘for someone dancing outside their style?’ Aren’t they all doing that most of the time? Isn’t part of the reason they’re on the show at all is that they have some proficiency there? At some point it feels like they should just be judged on the performance, that’s all, the end. Nigel talks about how awesome the choreography was (again) but didn’t think they were that good. Then! He totally makes the point I just made about how we’re in the top fourteen and it doesn’t matter where you come from, you have to be good. How can I hate and love him so much at the same time? I am so conflicted.

In the second round they get a smooth waltz. I do not see this going well. It’s all very… smooth, I guess? These routines always bore me. I don’t know much about technique on this kind of thing, but it doesn’t look very good. It’s pretty, though. I don’t know.

Napitha says they enjoyed it and Comfort looked like an angel. They’re not feeling Thayne, though. Me either. They call him phony, which is totally true. Boo to Thayne. Mary loved it! I did not see that coming. She also loves Thayne, though, so she cannot be trusted. Nigel thinks they did well and, shockingly, talks about the choreography. WE GET IT.

Kourtni and Matt. They get hip hop (yay!) with Cicely and Olisa (boo!). Ugh. This routine is weak all around. I hate the choreography (hip hop lite, AGAIN) and I don’t think they’re doing a very good job. They don’t seem into it at all, and it kind of feels like they’re not really trying. The moves are small, they’re not very together, they seem disconnected from each other and the performance. Not good.

NapTab talk about all the different styles of hip hop and say that while Matt was really good they couldn’t cut it in any kind of hip hop competition. Well, duh. Neither could that routine. Mary says it was fine, and she thought it was good, but she wants to be entertained and get excited about a routine and they just aren’t making that happen. Nigel didn’t like the choreography, or the performance, or the style, or the music, and calls it ‘hip hop on sleeping pills’, which is exactly right. I hate it when Nigel puts words to how I feel.

Next up they get the mambo with Alex DiSilva. It goes pretty well, I think. The problem here is that I think the mambo is supposed to be sexy, and they are not sexy. They are fun and cute and freakishly tall, but not sexy. They pull off some crazy spins and lifts, though. At one point he has her over his head and she’s moving all around and he’s just spinning and spinning. It’s good, but they don’t have the spirit of it.

NapTab agrees with me. They say they need to get down and dirtier. Mary thought Kourtni was smokin’ hot, but they were not smokin’ together. No chemistry. She’s totally right. Nigel didn’t think it was big enough or low enough but he thought they danced it well. They are not feeling it.

Chelsie and Mark! They get jazz with Mandy Moore, which is very exciting. They come out to “Kiss Kiss” by Holly Vance. The styling and the music both have kind of an 80s feel, with fingerless gloves and blue and purple and Mark’s bad hair. I like the routine, but it’s not my favorite of theirs. I think they do a good job and it has a lot of complicated moves, but I’m just not totally feeling it. They do pull off some pirouettes and leaps in perfect unison and they look great.

Leonitha praise their storytelling abilities and chemistry. Mary says, “I hate to be such a downer tonight…” which means she’s totally going to pull the fakeout. Which she does. She thought they hit everything and did a great job. Nigel compliments Chelsie’s hips and calls them ‘magic’.

Their second routine it the foxtrot. Chelsie comes out in this insane furry blue dress thing. Also, they are dancing to a Paul Anka cover of Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life”. Funny. I like this routine, and I as a general rule don’t enjoy ballroom. Mark is going to get far in this competition totally on his acting abilities. He always just looks the part. It looks good, they are together and energetic and fun. I think it goes better than Matt and Kourtni’s routine. It definitely helps them that it’s a ‘cleaner’ style of ballroom, as opposed to the ‘down and dirty’ mambo.

Leonitha loves that they look like they love to dance and says they are professionals. Mary says it was a really difficult routine and they pulled it off and were ‘elegant and classy’. Nigel thought Mark looked uncomfortable Chelsie was fabulous.

Twitch and Kherington pull a pasa doble. The routine is a fight between a matador and a… matadoress? I’m pretty sure that’s not a word. There’s a chance he might kick her in the face. Something to look forward to. Kherinton has on this insane cape/dress/boot combo. Oh! That’s not a cape. They both have them. It’s supposed to be like the cape you wave in front of a bull, I think. They are fantastic. Everything is dramatic and sharp and really, really cool. Kherington is definitely not smiling, so that’s good. I think they nail it. They really do seem to be in the middle of a battle. They totally pull it off. I love it.

Napoletab thought it started slow but it picked up and blew up after that. Mary says it was full of passion but thought they were just okay. Nigel loved the choreography and was entertained but critiques their technique. They all liked Kherington more than Twitch.

Their second routine is a Mia Michaels contemporary. It involves a bed. Twitch appears to only be wearing boxers. I am in favor of this so far. I am not, though, in love with this routine. I’m pretty sure they just flail around on the mattress and jump up and down. They are totally into it, and they pull of the emotions for sure, but for me it’s just okay.

Napoletab loves it. They give it six awesomes. Six! I don’t think so. Mia does lots of woo-hooing and calls it powerful and dynamic. Nigel is skeevy, this time about Twitch, and compliments how commited they were to it.

Katee and Joshua. Their first routine is a Mia Michaels contemporary. OK. I am fully aware that I am a sucker for Mia’s stuff. But this is really good. The song is Hometown Glory by Adele. It’s pretty typical Mia… emotional and jerky and lots of running into each other’s arms and big huggy lifts and stuff. It kind of reminds me of Lacey and Cameron from last season. They do a great job. I am impressed. Especially by how Katee’s hair is standing straight up like that. How did they do that?

Tabitheon praises their presence and says they command the stage. They loved the storytelling and says they just got it. Mary says they haven’t messed up yet all season says they made her feel something from the get go. Nigel loved them and says something about how they will be on the list when history is written. I don’t know what means. He had me, then he lost me.

In the second round they get west coast swing with Benji, which makes everyone in the audience squeal. And Lacey is there, so Susan is excited. I… am bored. I don’t think it is so great. For a swing routine, there doesn’t seem to be much going on. It feels too slow for the music and their personalities feel fake to me. Meh.

Tabitheon loved it and thinks they are fantastic. Mary loved the choreography and thinks they were great. Nigel calls them adaptable and spends some time talking about how great Benji was when he was on the show, which, sure, but why are we talking about it? He is on my nerves tonight.

Courtney and Gev got hip hop with Cicely and Olisa. Meh. I was nervous about this, but I think they do a good job. The routing is really fun. It hits harder than most of the hip hop we’ve seen so far and they perform it really well. I actually think Courtney does a better job than Gev. She is certainly a better contemporary-turned-hip hop dancer than Kherington was last week. It’s fun and bouncy and they are great. I like it.

TabNap (Sorry! I’m running out of ideas!) echo my sentiment about Courtney doing better than Gev. Mary is feeling it half and half. She expected more from Gev but thought Courtney killed it. Nigel was also watchng Courtney because he’s skeevy. He says it wasn’t strong enough.

Their final routine is broadway. Fun! I think they will be good. They are playing tourists seeing New York for the first time. It’s cute, but if feels like all they’re really doing is running around the stage and pointing at things. Seriously. Running and pointing.

TabNap thought they played the characters well and sold the routine well. Mary calls them dynamic and loves them as a couple. Nigel calls them underdogs and says they pulled it off. He talks for a really really long time.

Whew! That was exhausting.

My favorites: Will and Jessica’s lyrical jazz, Katee and Joshua’s contemporary
Least favorites: Kourtni and Matt’s ‘hip hop’, Katee and Joshua’s swing

RESULTS SHOW

Group routine! This one is awesome. It’s a broadway routine to “Money Money” from Cabaret. It’s got a 20’s feel, with flappers and bowler hats and feathers. There’s lots of spinning and some cool partner tricks and a ton of fun and personality. It’s still hard for me to pick out individual dancers in these routines, but it seems to star Will. And we see way too much Thayne. I am so over him.

We are getting right down to business. The first two couples out are Kherington and Twitch and Katee and Joshua. Kherington and Twitch did a pasa doble that I loved and the judges thought were just okay, and a contemporary that the judges loved and I just thought was just okay. Katee and Joshua did a beautiful contemporary and a boring west coast swing. Cat tells Katee and Joshua that they are not in the bottom two… and neither are Twitch and Kherington. Sneaky! And not at all surprising. There is much jumping and screaming on stage.

Next out are Kourtni and Matt, Gev and Courtney, and Chelsie and Mark. Kourtni and Matt were underwhelming in both their hip hop and mambo routines. They’ve been in the bottom three twice before… and they are there again, DANCING FOR THEIR LIVES (dun dun dun). Gev and Courtney did a hip hop routine that I loved and a broadway that was cute but kind of plain. Mark and Chelsie did a fun jazz routine and a really entertaining foxtrot. Have I mentioned that I love them? Because I totally do. Who’s will DANCE FOR THEIR LIVES (dun dun dun)? Gev and Courtney. I still like him, I think, but I’m kind of over her. She’s a little too ‘look at me I am so adorable!’ for my taste.

The last two couples out are Thayne and Comfort and Will and Jessica. Holy moly, it better be Thayne and Comfort. Will and Jessica were awesome last night. The Personality Twins danced a broadway routine that was pretty fun and a smooth waltz that put me to sleep. GAH. Seriously, y’all. Thayne is #1 on my annoying list. Will and Jessica did a jive that was really fun and a lyrical jazz that was one of my most favorites from last night. Will and Jessica are safe. Yay! Comfort and Thayne are DANCING FOR THEIR LIVES (dun dun dun). I am so over them.

Performances. They brought back Robert from the auditions, the guy who does crazy popping stuff but not much else. I don’t know… I think what he does is really cool, but I’m pretty bored. Nigel gives him a hard time about quitting in Vegas, then starts talking about someone named Phillip who is also very talented and he would love to see them battle, although he doesn’t know how that could happen. I bet that guy is there somewhere. Oh, he’s not. So we just talked about him for about five minutes for no reason. Awesome.

Ugh. Just say no to the Snuggle happy dances. That is a total Brotherhood 2.0 ripoff.

Solo time! Kourtni is up first with a crazy mohawk and a dress with bones or something on the back. I love her solos… I think she uses the music really well and has a… dance personality, if that’s a thing. It’s not generic. Matt is next and is generic. Meh. I hate the little moves they add at the end to go along with the So You Think You Can Dance voice. It’s awkward. Courtney comes out and is really energetic and spunky. She’s a pretty dancer for sure. Gev breaks the contemporary monotony with some freaking awesome breaker moves. He’s great. I want to buy his t-shirt for Aaron. Comfort comes out and the same move fifteen times in a row. Thayne is last and ugh, I really hate him. Have I made that clear? He’s so lame.

Conference by the stairs! Performance by OneRepublic! Finally someone I at least find interesting and don’t want to fast forward. Well, not the whole thing.

Why do people wave their arms from side to side during slow songs? I don’t really see it at concerts, but always on this show and shows like American Idol. What is that? I have never in my life felt the need to wave my arms around like that. Is there something onstage next to the APPLAUSE sign that says AWKWARD ARM WAVE? That is the only explanation.

Elimination time. Nigel takes some time to tell us how he’s connected to American Idol (lame) and that he’s more attached to these contestants than any other season. They call Courtney up first and tell her she’s safe. Comfort comes up next and Nigel says he wanted her to go home, but he was outvoted and Kourtni is going home. What? Really? GAH. I am with Nigel. Comfort was not good tonight. Boo.

Boys. They loved Gev’s solo and he is totally safe. They don’t think Matt has grown since he’s been on the show and he is cut. Lame again! I don’t think Matt is awesome or anything, and he definitely wasn’t going to win, but Thayne? Boo again.

Next week we find out who’s in the top ten! It better not be Thayne.

June 1 - Lots of new people came to care group and we had excellent food.
June 2 - Fancy sushi and a movie with the girls where I spent way to much on drinks because I thought it was happy hour.
June 3 - We got some new kids involved in the flamingos and artfully decorated the yard of what is honestly the biggest house I have ever seen.
June 4 - Huge turnout for dinner and trivia, which was a good thing even though our team bit the dust on the last question after leading the entire game.
June 5 - GREAT meeting about renovating the youth house. It is going to be amazing.
June 6 - I had a delicious dinner and excellent wine.
June 7 - We took a four hour nap in the middle of the day for no real reason at all.
June 8 - A couple of events drew some new kids who are starting to get connected.
June 9 - I learned a LOT at counseling.
June 10 - Brisket and blueberry beer.
June 11 - Great work day: interesting class, good staff meeting, fun lunch, productive team meeting, movie in the park with the kids.
June 12 - We went to the worst writer’s night in the history of Nashville, but we laughed a lot so that was good.
June 13 - We went to what we thought was dinner with a private chef but turned out to be a sales pitch for pots and pans, but we laughed a lot so that was good. Then we drove to Kentucky and got there at 4am. That part wasn’t so funny.
June 14 - We hung out with the band all day at Icthus and got to watch Leeland and Family Force Five from the sidestage.
June 15 - We walked miles and miles but got to have excellent Thai food with the guys and my fun friend Susan.
June 16 - Hung out at a video shoot and took a spooky tour of some old mines.
June 17 - Fun cookout with the guys.
June 18 - Lots of good band hangout time… I think the more social time we spend with them the better their working relationship with Aaron gets.
June 19 - I got caught up on all the work I didn’t do while the band was here.
June 20 - We took some kids to the Sounds game and had a seriously great time.
June 21 - Slept until noon. And I don’t even fell bad about it.
June 22 - Excessively fun care group meeting at which I, once again, smoked everyone in bocce.
June 23 - We filled our last camp spots.
June 24 - Wipeout and I Survived a Japanese Gameshow came on, and they were AWESOME.
June 25 - Great high school group discussion about values and behavior.
June 26 - Looooooong, but fun, night of flamingoing.
June 27 - We laughed and laughed and laughed at Get Smart.
June 28 - Spent the afternoon at the farmer’s market and shared an amazing sandwich.
June 29 - Lot of flamingos and a really good conversation with a kid.
June 30 - Track and field Olympic trials! I love the Olympics. And track. So fun.

Top 16! Bring it, So You Think You Can Dance!

PERFORMANCE SHOW

Has the guy who does the big jump at the beginning of the theme song always had on plaid pants? I have never noticed that before.

Cat is wearing some kind of crazy trashy wedding dress thing. Yeesh.

Jidges! Guest judge this week is Adam Shankman from Hairspray. I think he’s potentially pretty crazy. He recently choreographed… and Adam Sandler movie. Huh. Mary, whose hair is still crazy and appears to be wearing a mother of the bride dress, thinks this season is great because there are no frontrunners yet. Then she screams. Nigel spends some time talking about Cyd Charisse, a dancer who passed away this week and was in Brigadoon and Singing in the Rain, among others.

First up! Kherington and Twitch. This week’s video theme is… telling us about each other. Didn’t we do this last week? CREATIVE. Kherington says that Twitch sounds like a bear when he laughs and Twitch says Kherington has a shopping problem and has bought 427 shoes in the three weeks they’ve been there. Shoes, or pairs? Does she have an odd number of feet?

They get hip hop with Tabitha and Napoleon, who I think I really like. The routine is a prison break routine that looks like fun. They say it’s really difficult and they will have to be staccato and smooth at the same time. Sounds tricky.

They come out in orange jumpsuits and skull caps to “Don’t Touch Me Now” by Busta Rimes. It’s a really cute routine, but Kherington is bugging me. She’s making what I’m sure she thinks are hip hop faces, but it just looks silly. It reminds me of that SNL skit where Natalie Portman is a gansta rapper. Except, you know, not funny. Twitch is pulling it off, if for no other reason than he’s believable. I think she’s dancing it well, I’m just not buying it. They do a pretty sweet move where she does a handstand behind him and he picks her up over his head by the feet. But overall, meh.

Nigel says they are both brilliant dancers with lots of spirit and energy and does a fakeout about how there was nothing negative about it. Lame. I’m not sure what Mary is going to do with her fakeout plan taken away like that. She says they killed it and screams and screams and screams. Adam calls it awesome. I don’t really see it.

Next up is Courtney and Gev. Courtney tells us that Gev looked like a little girl when he was a kid, and Gev tells us Courtney is going to school to be a special ed teacher. I think he likes her a lot more than she likes him.

This week they’re doing a Tony Meredith rumba routine. Scary! It looks pretty sexy and he gets to touch her all over the place. So that’s fun. For him.

The song is “Wishing On a Star” by Rose Royce. Hee. I want to change my name to Rose Royce. They start out with a lift that turns into a pretty shaky move where she kind of slides down his leg. I have to say, this is not hot at all. I get how it’s supposed to be, but… no. The song isn’t helping, it’s possibly the lamest song I have ever heard. I think, again, they dance it well, but it’s boring. Courtney is wearing this schizophrenic dress that is completely modest with long sleeves and a long skirt on one side and pretty much nonexistent on the other side.

Here is where I take a minute to comment on the fact that any time a move is featured in the rehearsal video, the audience cheers when it happens on stage. Gev grabbed Courtney’s butt in this totally awkward way, and they went nuts. Cool it, audience!

Nigel thinks they are really good and compares Gev to Dominic. While I think that is a fair comparison, it feels a little forced since Dominic just happens to be in the audience. What are the chances! Nigel and Gev both get skeevy about Courtney’s dress. Mary thought it was great and only has minor criticisms. Adam talks about how exciting it is for the judges when dancers do well and has specific praise for Gev. Then he talks for about 20 more minutes and the other judges pretend to fall asleep.

Comfort and Chris. Comfort says Chris is a food moocher and we get footage of him actually eating off someone else’s fork. Gross. Chris tells us about Comfort’s stint in a beauty pageant as a kid. We see some footage from their trip to the bottom two last week, and I remember now that I don’t particularly like Chris and would not have been sad to see him go.

They are doing a Tyce Diorio jazz routine. Tyce calls it raw and earthy. It also involves some brown bedsheets that represent mud. Comfort says it will be “off the chain”.

They are dancing to the only Marilyn Manson song I know, “Beautiful People”. Interesting. Hmmm. I don’t particularly like it at first, but I think it gets better as it goes on. They’re don’t stay together very well. I like the choreography, but it feels like the kind of routine that should really hit hard and be big, and… it’s not. It’s like they’re dancing on the surface of the mud instead of getting down in it.

Nigel agrees with me. Finally! He says it was too soft and they didn’t sell it. He also criticizes the choreography a bit and the prop use, which is kind of out of their control. Mary says it should have been wilder and more animalistic. No screams from her. Adam says they didn’t have the performance value the routine called for.

Next up! Jessica and Will. Will tells us that Jessica goes by the nickname Ariel and Jessica says Will is an absolute gentleman and is super sweet. I have such a hard time with these two – I like him a whole lot but could do without her. But before she goes I would like for her to teach me how to put my hair up in a wrap like she has hers. That is cute.

This week they’re doing disco with Doriana Sanchez, who informs us that disco is ‘serious business’. Seriously? Why is this a real style on this show? I do not understand. Jessica plays around too much during rehearsal even though they are all pulling together to make sure she’s the one who shines this week.

The song is “Heaven Must Have Sent You” by Bonnie Pointer. Is she a Pointer Sister? I hope so. That would make me SO EXCITED. They are fine. Well, that’s not true. He is great. They can talk all day about not wanting her to be in his shadow, but he is EXCESSIVELY BETTER THAN HER. He just is. I like this routine… it feels like more ‘grownup’ disco than the routine Courtney and Gev did earlier. They do a few cool lifts and things, but they seem to make a few mistakes, too. He is just so much more fun to watch than she is – he has more personality and bigger movements and is just better.

Nigel says disco can look cheesy if you don’t do it well, which I would disagree with since it really looks cheesy all the time. He points out the mistakes but says they carried it off and danced it well. Mary agrees and says this routine was a turning point for them, in a good way, and that they owned it. Adam thought it was fantastic and challenging and calls Jessica a great dancer but calls her out on confidence issues.

Kourtni and Matt. Matt tells us about Kourtni’s neck tattoo that says “…and so she would dance”, which comes from a poem her mom gave her. Kourtni tells us that Matt has a ninja mask that he wears a lot. Do ninjas wear purple and white striped masks? I don’t really think so.

Contemporary! Oh, this better be good. They are working with Sonja Tayeh, who we have never seen before and who has INSANE hair. It’s like a mullet/mohawk hybrid. Seriously. It’s bad. The routine sounds awesome, though. It’s about comic book characters who are fighting and flirting, and it’s meant to look like the frames in a comic book so it has a lot of holds and freezes. Cool.

The song is “Wrestlers” by Hot Chip. I don’t entirely get the comic book thing, but I love it. It’s so fun. Lots of crazy movements and faces and jumps and flips. They both get to show a ton of personality, which is something I think they have been lacking in their routines so far. They do a string of jumps and turns and are perfectly in sync with each other. I like the whole thing.

Nigel praises the quirky choreography and loved their technique. He tells Matt to relax, again, but overall liked it. Mary says it showcased their talent and points out the synchronized leaps I mentioned earlier. Adam says they have amazing control and says they are meant to dance.

Carrie Underwood and I drink the same VitaminWater.

Next up! Chelsea and Thayne. Chelsea says that she thinks Thayne wants to be a fashion designer because he is always telling her what to wear and he makes his own t-shirts. Thayne tells us that Chelsea steals flowers from gardens, restaurants, hotel lobbies. I think he is trying really hard to have a personality.

They are dancing a quickstep with Heather Smith. Uh-oh.

They are dancing to “You Can’t Hurry Love” by… Phil Collins? Really? Not The Supremes? Have I ever mentioned my severe dislike of Phil Collins on here before? Because, no. The only quicksteps I have ever seen in my life have been on this show, and I have never particularly enjoyed them, but I feel like they do a pretty good job. The song is really dragging the whole thing down. And isn’t a lot of the quickstep in their feet? Because she is wearing a big flowy metallic skirt. Bad job, wardrobe. I think they are good, but I am bored. Until the end, at least, when they appear to do the Kid’n’Play. That I can get behind.

Nigel says they danced it well but didn’t have any personality. He praises them and then… tells them to get their solos ready. Okay. Mary calls it okay, and says that is pretty good for a quickstep. She thinks they fell short. Adam says they are great dancers but did not look comfortable on stage.

I swear these are the longest commercial breaks ever.

Chelsi and Mark. Blah blah blah, they are adorable. Chelsi says that Mark’s pinkies are crooked, and Mark says Chelsi is a tomboy offstage.

They pull hip hop with Napoleon and Tabitha. He is a workaholic and she doesn’t want him to go to work. I think. They talk a lot about how they choreograph to the words. Interesting. Tabitha kind of looks like Sandra Bullock.

The song is “Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis. Okay, you guys. They are great. Like, great great. The routine is awesome on its own, and they perform it amazingly. There’s a point where he walks around her in a circle and she just breaks down in the middle. It’s gorgeous. It is not, however, hip hop. I don’t think so, anyway. It’s more pop/jazz, bordering on contemporary. We really haven’t had any good hip hop so far this year, I don’t think. I like Tabitha and Napoleon, but calling what they do hip hop is a stretch. Either way, this routine is great. They are seriously so so good. They have so much emotion and life. They are definitely my favorite couple… I like some other individual dancers better, but as a couple, they are the best for sure.

Nigel says they were excellent and passionate and praises Napoleon and Tabitha. Mary loved it and gives us all a little speech on the state of the family in America these days. Adam talks a lot about the status of hip hop and says they were perfect and totally sold the story. Which is true. They were great. He calls them the couple to beat.

Last couple! Katee and Joshua. Katee says that Joshua is a softie and very sweet like a big teddy bear. Joshua says that Katee screams like a boy. Fascinating. I have the same problem with them that I do with Will and Jessica - I like him better than her. Maybe this week we cut Jessica and Katee so that Will and Joshua can dance together. (I would also accept cutting Thayne and Chris and pairing Comfort with Chelsea.)

They draw a samba with Tony and Meredith. This is going to be tough. Nether of them have ever done ballroom before and they seem to be struggling.

They come out to “Baila, Baila” by Angela Via, not “Balla, Balla” like I thought the first time I saw it. I think Katee’s dress was made by the same designer as Courtney’s. Joshua does a better job than she does, again. Katee seems to do well, though, I just don’t think she pulls off the sexy thing very well. She’s cute and smiley. Overall they are good but not great.

Nigel makes the same dress comment I did, then gets skeevy with Joshua for a change. He says they had great samba rhythm and pulled it off. He calls them outstanding. Mary calls them hot and yells a lot about personality and technical skills. She’s hurting my ears and my brain. She puts them on the hot tamale train, I think, but I can’t tell because I have lost my hearing. I think Adam liked it. I seriously can’t hear anything.

Favorites: Chelsi and Mark, Matt and Kourtni
Least favorites: Chelsea and Thayne, Gev and Courtney

RESULTS SHOW

Group routine! Based on the costumes and the feel of this, I would guess it’s Wade Robson if I didn’t know better. A handful of guys are onstage in these big black and white outfits with top hats and ruffles and canes. They start tapping the canes on the ground and screaming while some girls do a kicky awkward dance walk down the stairs. There are people everywhere running onstage with canes, umbrellas, all kinds of madness. Then they’re all in formation and dancing together… it’s flowy and jerky and contemporary-ish. Mia Michaels? It’s interesting to watch, and I think my new boyfriend Mark is the main guy, so I approve. Except… is that Comfort? She has a starring role in a group routine? Again? This time she is sucking her thumb and crying. No. More screaming and cane tapping. I think there’s a lot of cool stuff going on, it’s just so hard to tell when there are 16 people doing 16 different things. Mark is definitely the leader of this group - they are all dancing around him while he holds his cane in the air. The end all in a line with him at the head, and when he points at them they dance off stage. Cool. It doesn’t take much to make that boy look creepy. I love him.

Mia Micheals! I am good.

Jidges. They all look less crazy than yesterday, except Nigel who is wearing leather. Gross. We must have a full show, because we don’t talk to them.

First three couples: Thayne and Chelsea, Katee and Joshua, Chelsi and Mark. Thayne and Chelsea danced a quickstep that overall did not go well. Thayne has such a manufactured personality. Mary stretched the hot tamale train thing about as far as it can go. Nigel thought they needed to prepare their solos. Was he right? Yes he was. Chelsea and Thayne will DANCE FOR THEIR LIVES (dun dun dun). Katee and Joshua did a samba that everyone loved but I was not feeling. They are safe. Chelsi and Mark danced a contemporary hip hop routine that I thought was fantastic. Probably my favorite so far this season. The judges loved it, maybe a little too much, and they are safe. Love.

I think Cat’s dress might possibly be trying to eat her. It’s a gorgeous color, but that ruffle has got to go.

Next three: Kherington and Twitch, Gev and Courtney, Comfort and Chris. Twitchington did hip hop that was fun but not great. The judges inexplicably loved it. They are safe. Duh. Gev and Courtney danced a rumba, that, again, was okay but not great in my opinion. Something about them rubs me the wrong way. The judges fell all over themselves praising them and they are safe. Comfort and Chris had jazz with an African feel to it. It didn’t go well and the judges were not fans. They will DANCE FOR THEIR LIVES (dun dun dun).

Cat says America’s Best Dance Crew, Quest, is coming out later. Who is that? Is that show already over?

Last two: Kourtni and Matt, Will and Jessica. Kourtni and Matt danced an upbeat contemporary routine about comic book characters that I thought was super fun. The judges loved it. Have y’all noticed how much time we spend listening to the judges praise the choreographers? It’s too much. Will and Jessica got disco and he was way way better than her. I feel like they are trying hard to sell her to us but I am not buying it. Sadly, they are safe and Matt and Kourtni have to DANCE FOR THEIR LIVES (dun dun dun).

Ohhhh… they are not America’s Best Dance Crew, they are America’s best dance crew. I see. Apparently there’s some kind of dance reality show battle going on, and this is SYTYCD’s dig at ABDC. Quest is a dance crew that Dominic, Hok and Ryan, all former SYTYCD contestants, are members of. Gotcha. They are very cool. I love this kind of stuff. Obviously, I am a SYTYCD fangirl, but I love me some ABDC, too. At least they have hip hop.

Solos! Chelsea is up first. I think she is a really strong dancer and her solo is pretty, but I have a feeling this might be it for her. Thayne is next and does the same solo all those contemporary boys do. This week he dances to “Always” by Bon Jovi, which was my favorite song in eighth grade. He bores me and I hate his face. Cat says, “When the chips are down, bring out a bit of the Jovi.” Words to live by. Comfort comes out to Mary J, and I feel like she has danced to this before. She is losing her shine to me… I think she’s a one trick pony. I bet they keep her, though. Then Chris dances and I fall asleep. The last girl onstage is Kourtni, who once again is beautiful and does a great job. She is just so much more expressive than the other girls, and I feel like she puts work into her choreography instead of just flailing around. Matt is last and has on a terrible outfit. Seriously, did he raise his 3-year-old brother’s closet. No. I’m not gonna lie, I like his solo better because I like him more than the other guys.

Conference by the stairs!

Jordin Sparks is singing. I am not writing about that. Except to say that she is dressed like a bridesmaid.

Elimination time! The girls are first and they waste no time at all cutting Chelsea. We don’t even talk to anyone else. Wow.

Boys. They pull Matt out and Nigel apologizes for giving him a hard time. He calls him brilliant and he is safe. He then talks about how maybe America doesn’t like contemporary dancers since they keep ending up in the bottom two. OR! Maybe you guys cast too many versions of the same guy and America is bored by them. I mean, just a suggestion. Thayne is safe and Chris goes home. Excellent.

So next week Thayne and Comfort will be partners. Get ready for an annoying personality overload.

Jeff tagged me, and I haven’t done a meme in a while, so here you go!

The rules of the “game” are simple:
1. list your top ten favorite films (in no particular order).
2. if you’re tagged, you’ve got to post and tag 3-5 other people.
3. give a tag back (some link love) to the one who tagged you in your post
4. give a hat tip (HT) to Dan

Dan, Dan, he’s our man, if he can do it, anyone can!

I am actually not a big movie person. I don’t like to go to the movies very often. Aaron, on the other hand, would go see every movie that ever came out in the theater and rent the ones he missed. But I do have favorites, and I love them oh so very much. Just don’t expect any cinematic masterpieces on this list.

1. Almost Famous

Anytime someone asks me what my favorite movie is, I always choose Almost Famous. I love everything about it: the music, the t-shirts that say everything you want to say, the pencils and legal pads, the tour bus, Jimmy Fallon as the fancy new manager. I love the ending, when William finally gets his interview. I could watch it over and over and over. And have.

Sample quote: “This song explains why I am leaving home to become a stewardess.”

2. Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion

Romy and Michele came out the summer before my senior year of high school. My friends and I probably saw it at the dollar theater about a hundred times. It is so completely ridiculous and so completely fun. And the whole movie is worth watching for the dance at the end.

Sample quote: “You look so good with blond hair and black roots it’s like, not even funny.”

3. That Thing You Do

I have written about my love of TTYD before. It is one of the most quoteable and joyful movies I know. I get a little teary every time they hear their song on the radio for the first time. I think I love it more now than I ever have, since our lives seem to parallel the movie a bit. We’ve done the label visit, the video, the big tours. Soon we will hear our song on the radio. And I will run screaming down the street, just like Faye.

Sample quote: “Are you crazy? A man in a really nice camper wants to put our song on the radio! Gimme a pen, I’m signin’! You’re signin’! We’re all signin’!”

4. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I’ve been watching this movie for most of my life. Growing up, we stayed after school with a lady down the street who had a teenage daughter. She was a cheerleader and I completely idolized her. We watched this movie with her ALL THE TIME. I think it might have been where my dancing obsession began. Whatever happened to the guy who played Jeff? His red cut off t-shirt was too sexy.

Sample quote: “Velcro. Next to the Walkman and tab it is the coolest invention of the 20th century.”

5. Can’t Buy Me Love

This is another holdover from the babysitter days. Patrick Dempsey is so awesome in this movie. This and GJWHF are what 80s movies are to me. I love me some Molly Ringwald, but these are the best ones for sure. I was so jealous of the girl who wears a sports bra and overalls to school. That was a sweet outfit. Also, I may or may not be able to perform the African Anteater Ritual for you.

Sample quote: “You raise a doll-chopping homicidal maniac, and what do you do every time you see him? You give him money.”

6. Romeo+Juliet

Things that are awesome about this movie: Leonardo DiCaprio, the crazy carnival set on the beach, the amazing soundtrack, Leonardo DiCaprio, the balcony/pool scene, the colors and the dancing, Leonardo DiCaprio. I was already over the moon for him when this movie came out - I had loved him since his days as a homeless teen on Growing Pains. But Romeo+Juliet really put it over the top for me. It came on TV the other day and I couldn’t believe how young everyone looked… they seemed so grown up when I first saw it. And seriously. It has a great soundtrack.

Sample quote: “No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir!”

7. Can’t Hardly Wait

This is one of those movies that it feels like no one saw but you, and then you drop a quote randomly and someone picks up on it and that’s how you know you were meant to be friends. This movie has everything - parties, long lost love, a good villain, the unknown who saves the day, personal growth and… Scott Baio. It is also my third favorite Ethan Embry movie. I love that boy.

Sample quote: “You know who else I like that didn’t get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady.”

8. Rat Race

Is it bad that this is my third Seth Green movie? I have no idea what that says about me. I do know, however, that this movie makes me laugh every time. I love the rich guys at the hotel taking bets on who will puke first, or how much you have to offer a hooker to get in a jacuzzi filled with Pepto-Bismol, or which maid can hold onto the curtain rod the longest without falling. And I love Mr. Bean. The whole movie is just a mishmash of random things that I think are awesome. Like Lucy impersonators. And Smashmouth. (Just kidding on that last part.)

Sample quote: “What do you mean that’s it? I’m not giving up! And neither are you! And neither am I!”

9. Man On the Moon

I didn’t know anything about Andy Kaufman when I saw this movie. I’m not entirely sure why I ever saw it in the first place. But it is one of my very favorites. It’s such a crazy story, and I think Jim Carrey does an amazing job. The funeral scene is one of the sweetest I have ever seen. I’m not even embarrassed that one of my favorite movies stars Courtney Love. It’s that good.

Sample quote: “I am from Caspiar, an Island in the Caspian Sea. It sunk.”

10. Empire Records

Did I save the best for last? Possibly. I saw this movie for the first time my freshman year in college. I had this roommate that I am pretty sure hated me, but we watched this the first week we were there and I just fell in love with it. It has all the qualities of my kind of movies: music, teenagers, high school drama, more music, and Ethan Embry. It was made for me.

Sample quote: “Joe, I can categorically say that you are not a bigger banana-head.” (Such a hard choice!)

So let’s see… my top ten movies came out between 1985 and 2001, with only one coming out in the new millennium. The bulk of my movies are from high school/early college, which makes sense since it would have been when I was going to the movies the most. There’s not a single serious movie on the list, and I like it that way. I’m not ashamed that my favorite movies are teeny-bopper films. That’s the best kind.

Oh! I have to tag people! I choose Katie, Jacob, Jon and Jonathan

Ten Random Things From The Past Week

1. Last Thursday we went to this music contest thing that our friend Katie was a part of. Our friend is crazy good, but this whole event was insane. I’m pretty sure it was the worst thing we’ve ever been to in Nashville. At one point I thought we might get stabbed with a bow.

2. Then on Friday we got invited to a dinner with a private chef that another friend of ours won at some kind of event. When we got there, we realized it wasn’t exactly what we had expected - it was a sales pitch for pots and pans. He made us dinner, all right, but we had to watch and answer questions about vegetables while he did it. Then he made us a cake that involved carrots, zucchini, squash and… chocolate. He was all, “Isn’t it amazing how you can’t even taste the veggies?” and I raised my hand and said, “Ummm, I can taste them.” And then he didn’t really talk to us anymore.

3. After that dinner we got in the car and drove to Elizabethtown, Kentucky, on our way to the Ichthus festival in Louisville. We got there at 4:30am and had to be in Louisville at 10:00. So that was fun.

4. We spent all day at Ichthus with Remedy Drive… they played in the morning, and then we sold merch and ate and hung out the rest of the day. There were cicadas EVERYWHERE. Cicadas are gross. The highlight of the day was watching Leeland and Family Force Five from the side stage. It doesn’t matter how many times I see FF5 play. They are awesome.

5. Let’s talk about Leeland for a minute. Have you listened to them? I don’t listen to a lot of Christian music, but that kid is so talented. The first record was pretty good, and includes one of my favorite worship songs (”Beautiful Lord”), but this new record is great all the way through. Listen to “Opposite Way“, especially if you have any kind of influence with teenagers. I have used the concept of that song more times than I care to admit lately. It’s good stuff.

6. Sunday we drove to Birmingham because Remedy Drive filmed a video there on Monday. We got there, I went to church with Susan (which I loved… it was nice to get to go to church and not be responsible for anything) and then we walked 10,000 miles to eat Thai food. Luckily, it was delicious Thai food and I think everyone had a really good time. Especially the guys who would walk way ahead of us and then jump out of trees when we walked under them. Awesome.

7. Monday while everyone else did grown up responsible work-type things, I went shopping. I have been looking for a new every day bag for approximately five hundred years. I had very specific specifications (that I got from the Department of Redundancy Department) for this bag: it had to be leather, in a non-brown/black/white color, have only one strap, be big enough to carry a book, and have a long enough strap that I can pick it up with one hand and put it on my shoulder without using my other hand (ie: my elbow would fit between the strap and the bag itself). I know it sounds like a lot, but I did not expect to spend four months trying to find it. Then! I went shopping in Birmingham, and there it was! I am so happy with this bag, from Urban Outfitters.

8. We all came back to Nashville on Tuesday. Aaron and the guys had a bunch of meetings and I had a lot of stuff on my schedule, too. Which all ended up getting canceled. That worked out well, though, since Aaron decided we should have everyone (7 adults and 2 kids) over for a cookout that night. I ended up spending most of the day grocery shopping and prepping food. We had a great time, though, and the food was fabulous if I do say so myself.

9. Because I was running on about ten total hours of sleep for the past five days, I slept in a bit and didn’t go to ordination class. Which turned out to be a mistake. Last week at the end of class we took this hermeneutics quiz, which was fascinating, and this week they went through it and discussed their answers. I would have liked to have been there for that. (If you care, you can click that link and then click ‘take assessment’ on the right. I would be curious to hear how you score!)

10. The band finally left late late Wednesday night. The bus had alternator issues, so they were pretty much just killing time at our house. I had intended to use Thursday to catch up on all the work I didn’t do while they were around. However, thanks to an ill-advised sit-down at the blood pressure machine at CVS, I ended up passed out on the drugstore floor. Classy, I know. Luckily Aaron was there so I didn’t look like a total idiot. I should really know better. If something says “This may cause bruising or faiting”, I should probably not do it. I am smrt.

PERFORMANCE SHOW

Top 18! Last week we lost Rayven (sad) and Jamie (not so sad). Who will it be this week? Cat and her fluffy black dress would like to welcome you to So You Think You Can Dance!

Twitch goes last in the dance intros AND is wearing nerd glasses. Love.

Jidges. The guest judge this week is Mia, which means no Mia routine. Sad. I love her as a judge, though, so it’s okay. I guess. She declares this season ‘banoodles’, which is apparently defined as ‘insane’, or, perhaps, ‘Mia’.

First up! Chelsea and Thayne. This week’s video theme is good thing/bad thing about their partners. Oh my gosh, y’all, we do this with our kids sometimes on Sundays. You ask a junior high girl one good thing and one bad thing about her week and you are in for 20 nonstop minutes of talking. Just FYI. Thayne likes that Chelsea is super positive all the time, and… Chelsea likes that Thayne is in a good mood all the time. Wow. On the flip side, Chelsea falls asleep all the time and Thayne is super superstitious.

This week they’re doing jazz with Mandy Moore. We see lots and lots of shots of Thayne knocking on wood, but Chelsea thinks they’re going to kill it. No knocks.

The song is “Untouchable” by the Veronicas. I don’t think I like this very much. Mandy said the story is “a king and his forbidden love”, but the only reason we would know that is the weird jokery outfits they have on. It doesn’t seem like much happens in the routine. The music is about twice as fast as they are moving and it just feels like a lot of walking around. Meh.

Mia loved the concept but not the execution. She says he wasn’t regal and kicks them off the hot tamale train. Mary didn’t think they had chemistry and thought Chelsea looked uncomfortable. She puts them in the caboose. Nigel found it unbelievable and doesn’t like the costumes. Me either! I like it when the judges agree with me.

Mark and Cheslie. Mark likes how her hair smells and Chelsie likes how quirky Mark is. She thinks he is too quiet and he thinks she’s like an annoying little sister sometimes. I think they are both totally adorable.

They get argentine tango with Alex DiSilva. Mark says he loves ‘meaty dancing’ and calls himself a dancing carnivore. Interesting.

They are dancing to “Mi Confision” by Gotan Project. I don’t generally enjoy ballroom routines, but I think they do a good job. It’s all very intense, and Mark has a good intense face so they pull it off really well. Especially for the style of dance that Mark usually does, he really pulls this off. They look fantastic and are really really good.

Mia loved it. She calls them “fantastical” and praises both of them lavishly. Mary loved everything and thought they had great technique. I would like to take a moment to talk about how insane Mary looks tonight… she has ridiculous hair and huge necklaces and this awful off-the-shoulder leopard dress. It is bad bad bad. Nigel thinks they pulled it off but thought Chelsie wasn’t quite sleazy enough. Yes, he really says that.

Jessica and Will. Will likes Jessica’s personality and crazy attitude. Jessica likes that Will is so focused and professional… but sometimes he is too serious and internal. Will wishes Jessica was more confident in her abilities. Strangely, he does not say, “I wish she was a better dancer because I am freaking awesome.” Maybe next week. They will work twice as hard this week since they were in the bottom two last week.

They get hip hop with Cecily and Olisa, who I hope don’t make a guest judge appearance this year. They are excited to have something fun that will allow them to show personality, and Jessica proclaims that “America can relate to hip hop.” I… don’t know what that means.

They come out to “Whatever U Like” by Nicole Scherzinger. Will is clearly owning the stage in this routine. Jessica is… fine, but Will is blowing her away. The choreography is pretty fun, but the costumes (big jeans and blazers) make it hard to see what they are doing. I like it, though.

Mia loves the choreography but didn’t think Jessica held her own next to Will. She calls her “cheerleader-y” and says Will is a genius and Jessica has to step it up. Mary agrees and says Jessica is too powder puffy. She calls Will a “dancing machine” and a “force”. Nigel agrees with them about Will but disagrees on Jessica, saying she did a good job and pulled it off. He says Will will be in the final four.

Kourtni and Matt. Have I mentioned that I love them? I totally do. Matt likes Kourtni’s eyes and sometimes gets lost in them. Kourtni likes that Matt is always complimenting her. Selfish, but honest. She does not, however, like his singing. Matt doesn’t like how Kourtni doesn’t know good singing when she hears it. Cute.

They’re doing a foxtrot with Jean Marc. Kourtni feels confident that Matt will not drop her, but I am not so sure. Rehearsals do not go so well.

The performance, however, is great. I think, anyway. They are graceful and pretty and it just looks fantastic. I think their height really serves them well in this routine… everything looks long and the lines are beautiful. (Do you like how I am using dance words? Nice lines!) It’s totally charming and fun.

Mia takes a minute to talk about how she likes Matt and thinks he has personality and pizzazz. She calls him refined and elegant, and I agree with her. She also thinks Kourtni needs to “own her size and length” and be more confident. Mary loved the choreography but thought the performance was mixed. She was a little disappointed. Nigel calls Matt strong but says he’s soft everywhere else and lectures them a bit about giving an honest performance, but then says he thoroughly enjoyed it.

Next up is Courtney and Gev. Courtney likes how strong Gev is, and Gev likes that Courtney is really pretty. He does not like that she has a boyfriend. Courtney doesn’t like that Gev is short. Awesome.

Contemporary with Mandy Moore. Yay! It’s your basic love story routine. Gev comes off as a bit of a creeper in rehearsals.

The song is “Lost” by Anouk, and it is a really beautiful song. I am a sucker for a good contemporary routine, and I think they are pretty good. The choreography is great… really sweet and intimate and romantic. I think she is really good. She has great expressions and really sells the emotions. Gev does a good job supporting and lifting her. Overall I am a fan.

Mia loves the choreography but wants to see more “organic purity” from Courtney. Sometimes I think Mia has a grab bag of crunchy words and just pulls a couple out and mashes them together. She is proud of Gev and says he partnered her really well. That’s what I said! I should so be a judge on this show. Mary gets loud and crazy and just LOVED it. Nigel praises their partnership but didn’t believe the emotion in the routine.

Hey! America’s Best Dance Crew! I am a fan. Really. But proclaiming yourself “the best dance show on TV” during SYTYCD is just wrong. WRONG, I tell you.

Joshua and Katee, who I don’t want to like but do. Katee likes that Joshua is such a great partner and Joshua loves Katee’s smile. She doesn’t like how he is always picking on her, and he doesn’t like how she always does the same awkward dance.

They pull a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine, which should be fun. The routine is really fast with lots of running and expressions. Should be fun. They really are going to run a lot.

They are dancing to “All For The Best” from Godspell. It’s pretty cute, but I don’t love it. At one point Katee is supposed to be crying, but she has a huge smile on her face at the same time. Joshua busts out a huge backflip, which is pretty awesome. He seems to be way more committed to the routine than she is – all his movements are bigger and more exaggerated. They get out of sync toward the end a bit. It’s okay.

Ummm… Nigel is literally out of his chair running around on stage and playing air trombone. He is flipping out. He calls them fantastic and beautiful and entertainment at its best. Mary screams that they should come with a warranty: SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. I’m not sure Mary knows exactly what a warranty is. Mia calls it amazing. Clearly I missed something, because I do not understand this reaction. Hmmm.

Susie and Marquis. Marquis loves Susie’s energy, and Susie likes that Marquis is a goofball. She does not like that he is always eating and gets bad breath. Marquis doesn’t like how her eyebrows are too dark and she dresses so trashy. Oh, wait, that’s me. He doesn’t like how she always hit him in the face with her hair.

They draw salsa with Alex DiSilva, which is Susie’s style. Alex says this is one of the fastest routines he has ever choreographed. Then! He says that Susie not a REAL salsa dancer, she does street salsa. She overhears him, there is drama, whatever. I am a horrible person because that made me laugh.

The routine looks very salsa to me… I don’t really know. I don’t think he is very good. He very much looks like a contemporary dancer trying to do salsa. She seems to do well, though, and they do some really cool lifts and stuff. I don’t think they look very good together in general, so it’s hard to be objective about them when everything just looks off.

Mia, again, loves the choreography but didn’t love the performance. She says Marquis is not down and dirty enough and she expected more from Susie. Mary wasn’t feeling it either. She felt like Susie should have had a raw energy from street dancing but she doesn’t have it. Nigel says they made a lot of mistakes and Marquis isn’t a very strong partner and their hips weren’t doing what they were supposed to do. Bad news all around.

Twitch (!) and Kherington. He likes that she is positive and pretty mellow about things. She likes that he is really muscular and can lift her. He does not like that she has really strong legs because it hurts when she kicks him. She doesn’t like that he doesn’t know the difference between real and fake glasses and wears frames with no glass in them. She is wrong though. His glasses are awesome.

Oh, yikes. They draw the Vietnamese Waltz. (HT if you know where that’s from!) They’re working with the awesome but partially insane Jean Marc. The routine is inspired by JM’s daughter who is handicapped. So, no pressure to make it work, Twitchington. They seem unsure.

The song is “A New Day Has Come” by Celine Dion. The routine is pretty. The stage is lit kind of strangely… it’s kind of dusky with starry lighting and it makes it kind of hard to see them. I can’t actually tell if they are good. She is gorgeous and is all legs and it’s all really elegant. He doesn’t do much, but seems to partner her really well.

Mia criticizes Kherington for smiling the whole time, but Nigel jumps in and argues with her a bit. She thought Twitch stepped up and calls it beautiful. Mary gets all teared up and says it touched her and tells Twitch he was insane. Nigel dumps praise all over them, saying they breathed the music together and were fantastic.

Last couple! Comfort and Chris. She likes that he is so humble and has a good spirit, and he likes that she is versatile and a great partner but does not like how fast she talks. She does not like how much he sweats… because he is tall. Do tall people sweat more than short people? This is news to me.

Hmmm… they get krump with Lil’C. I think. She is going to rock this but I am worried about him. I don’t’ really see ‘krump’ when I see Chris. Lil’C tells them to get buck, which I have never heard and Chris hasn’t either. Should be interesting.

The routine is to “Come and Get Me” by Timbaland. It’s very hard with big steps and movements. She is freaking amazing, of course, and totally knocks it out of the park. And he actually does a really good job, I think… his face is into it and he stays low, which tends to be a big criticism in this kind of routine. I think he pulled it off.

Here’s a shocker for you – Mia loved the choreography. Duh. She loves Comfort and thought that Chris kept up with her. Mary thought they could have been better and says the energy dropped toward the end. (Cat jumps in and says Chris is ‘pretty fly for a white guy’, which is fun.) Nigel begins by disagreeing with Lil’C’s definition of krump. Because he knows better? Yikes. Then he demonstrates what he thinks krump should be verses what Chris did. It’s all a big mess and kind of scary. He thought they should have been way better.

My favorites: Chelsie and Mark, Kourtni and Matt
Least favorites: Chelsea and Thayne, Susie and Marquis

RESULTS SHOW

Group dance! This week it’s hip hop by Shane Sparks. We open with a Marquis solo and some sweet chest popping by Will, Joshua and Twitch before Twitch walks out of the trench coat he’s wearing. The guys dance, the girls dance, everyone dances together. Then we get a popper feature with Twitch, Joshua, Gev and Comfort, who completely rocks it. I love that they spotlighted her. They are amazing. The whole routine is really cool… full of hard hits and big beats. It ends with everyone laid out on the floor and Gev upside down on his head. Awesome.

Welcome to the show! Here are the jidges. Mia, just off the farm in an orange plaid button down, Mary, looking much less insane than last night, and Nigel, skeevy as per usual.

First three couples out: Chelsea and Thayne, Twitch and Kherington, Joshua and Katee. Joshua and Katee did Broadway and the judges went banoodles. Katee’s hair is down and very pretty and they are safe. Twitchington danced a Very Special waltz that was mostly praised by the judges. We get a backstage shot of Jean Marc telling them his daughter will love it. I admit it, I got a little misty. I’m not made of stone, people! Chelsea and Thayne, whose name is crazy but I can never remember, danced jazz and it didn’t go over well with the judges. They are the first couple to DANCE FOR THEIR LIVES (dun dun dun).

Next out: Chelsie and Mark, Matt and Kourtni, Will and Jessica. Chelsea and Mark did the tango and everyone loved it. I think they are just adorable. They are the first couple so of course they are safe. Matt and Kourtni did what I thought was a great foxtrot, but the judges were just okay on it. Will and Jessica did a hip hop routing in which Jessica was blah and Will was fantastic. They are both safe and they go absolutely crazy, which is super fun to watch. They were all four in the bottom three last week so it’s pretty exciting.

Last up: Susie and Marquis, Comfort and Chris, Gev and Courtney. Susie and Marquis did a horrible salsa routine that no one enjoyed at all. Not even a little bit. It was bad. They have to DANCE FOR THEIR LIVES (dun dun dun… and duh). Chris and Comfort krumped (kind of) and did an okay job. Nigel went insane on Chris and told him to get green and other craziness. Courtney and Gev danced a contemporary routine that I thought was really sweet and the judges thought wasn’t believable. The last couple to DANCE FOR THEIR LIVES (dun dun dun) are Chris and Comfort. Courtney and Gev are safe and secure from all alarms. For now.

Solos! Chelsea is first and does pretty well. I don’t really remember her from the auditions, so this is the first time I think I have really seen her on her own. She is a pretty generic contemporary dancer, but she has kind of an edge to her so it works for me. Thayne comes out next and does a typical boy contemporary solo - lots of jumps and kicks. Next up is Susie. She does that awkward ballroom solo where you just move your legs around really fast and maybe throw in a little booty shaking. Which, shockingly, she does. Marquis does another typical boy contemporary solo, but his includes a pretty cool cartweel flip thing where he lands sitting down. It’s kind of awesome. The last girl solo comes from Comfort. She’s a nice change from all the contemporary flailing around we’ve been seeing. (For as much as I love the contemporary partner routines during the show, I get so bored by these solos.) She pops and locks and bounces and while I don’t think it’s her strongest work, she is definitely safe. Chris the Tree is last and puts me back to sleep with yet another typical contemporary boy solo.

I think Susie is definitely going home. As far as the boys go… I’m pretty sure they are all exactly the same so it won’t matter much who goes home. If a girl gets a new partner she won’t even have to get used to him - she already is.

The jidges have a Very Serious Conversation near the stairs while Flo Rida performs at 4x his normal speed. Thank you, DVR.

And we’re back! it’s elimination time! Except… not yet, because Nigel has some Inspirational Words for us all. He starts talking about the NBA finals (which I am so sure he watched) and how even though he lost, Kobe congratulated everyone on the Celtics team. He then calls him not only a great player, but a great man. You forgot accused rapist, Nigel. I know, details schmetails. He turns that random topic into a speech about how, even if you go home tonight, be like Kobe and go out a winner. Which, sure, but… I’m pretty sure coming in second in the NBA finals and coming in EIGHTEENTH on a reality dance show aren’t quite the same thing. Still, though. Very inspiring.

Girls first. They liked Courtney but think she needs to be stronger in order to hold her ground against the stronger girl dancers. She’s safe. They think Susie has lost her fire and Comfort did not bring her A game, but in the end they send Susie home. SHOCKING. There was no way Comfort was going home in week two.

Boys. They liked Thayne and he is safe. How they know which is which is beyond me. They come down on Marquis, calling his solo all tricks and no dance. They liked Chris okay, and comment that his personality is increasingly less tree-like. Based on that, I guess, they keep him and send Marquis home.

So there it is! The most unsurprising elimination in history.

Next week! More dancing!