After my last post, I felt the need to ease back in to my posts. I have lots of ideas floating around, lots of half-written posts hanging out, but I felt like posting something mindless today.
So, I’m starting a new series called “Remember that time?” These posts will be purely story-telling. Me reliving memories, mostly funny, for your enjoyment. Let’s begin, shall we.
I grew up in a house surrounded on all three sides by soybean fields. They weren’t our fields. My family’s home occupied a small dusty acre, with the only vegetation being a withered crabapple tree and the garden we would plant out back every spring.
But to me, that soybean field was the most beautiful thing ever. Emerald green, rustling softly in the breeze. I would run through the field, my bare feet sinking in the dirt, my fingers dancing over the leaves.
One late spring day, I saw a huge mass of bubbles floating in the field. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. More iridescent than soapy, it was magical. I ran after it, finally catching up. I lifted handfuls of bubbles in the air, blowing them off my fingertips. Then, I did what any child would do. I ate some of them.
Please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t ask me why I did that. I just did. There really wasn’t any taste. Soon the bubbles blew away, and I ran home for dinner.
That night, over a plate of fresh vegetables and roastbeef, I told my mom about my discovery.
“Oh, that’s just bug larvae,” she told me. “When they lay their eggs…”
I had heard enough. My stomach lurched, and I imagined a million tiny bugs swimming in my stomach. This was worse than the time my cousin told me a watermelon was going to grow in my stomach because I swallowed a seed.
That night I gagged into the toilet for 30 minutes, then rinsed my mouth with Listerine until my lips and tongue lost all feeling. And I learned never to eat a floating cloud of bubbles. No matter how magical they appear.
Ha ha ha ha ha! At first, I was reading this story and thinking you were weird because you thought soybean fields were beautiful. I grew up in the middle of them (and/or corn, wheat, or cotton), too, and hated them! And then I discover you ate bug larvae. Maybe you could travel around with Anthony Bourdain?
when is eating bubbles ever a good idea? for reals.
Don’t judge me!
That’s a pretty good story. Pretty gross, too. But good story.
Leaves a whole new meaning for “I threw up in my mouth a little bit.” That-is-so-totally-gross. Ugh. It’s even worse than the time I opened a “bakery” on my swingset and ate one of my creations - a mud pie with rocks in it. (I was pretending it was chocolate chip cookies)
Ok I did NOT see that one coming! Ha ha ha. This post is hilarious!!!
Brandy, you are funny.
You crack me up! Hey, I never got to see those bubbles and there was a soybean field in front of our house!!! What’s up with that?! At least I was spared the agony.
those poor sad bugs never had a chance. you monster!
[...] blog for Brandy So not long ago, my wonderful friend Brandy wrote a post on her blog about the time she ate bug larvae. I have to admit, I thought that story was absolutely hilarious. I’m a farmer’s daughter [...]