Tales from a foreign land.

“Abram believed the LORD, and He credited to him as righteousness.”
Genesis 15:6

The tendency to focus on the appearance of my life has reached mythical proportions. Lately, the circumstances surrounding me have been quite bizarre: four car accidents, loss, cancer, grief, sickness, etc. My immediate reaction has been to question God…”Why?” or “AGAIN?!” or “You can’t be serious?” have been a common occurrence. But the central question has been, “Where are You?” In the midst of my frustration, I’ve turned to other things to occupy my time. I’ve seen many movies, read many books, and have spent countless hours in front of my computer screen. My willingness to simply “exist” has become my greatest idol. You see, in my mind, the appearance of my life far outweighs the promises that God has made to me…or to anyone, for that matter.

The fact is, I’m terrified to move forward with life for fear that I might fail. And I’d rather look at life situations through the lens of fear and failure than through the eyes of God and His word. I only have 74% of my monthly support committed to me and I’m planning on making it to Ireland in mid-April. I have so many people to say goodbye to and spend time with that the thought overwhelms me. I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

Yesterday, I read the story of Abram (yes, yes…’Abraham’). This man was told by God to leave his country, family, and home behind to pursue where the Lord had called him. Those movements forward changed his life and relationships forever. They also shaped the man that God created him to be. Would I compare my current life-story to that of Abram’s? In some ways. Would I compare my faith to that of Abram’s? Heck no. Do I have the same faithful God that Abram was trusting in? Absolutely. Abram stumbles to believe at moments, and yet every promise that Yahweh made to him, He kept…even the promise of a son that God would later command him to sacrifice.

With the many questions I’ve offered up to God, the answer of His promises and who He is have remained the same. Often, I forget about them to wallow in my own self-pity or doubt…and He is right there to give me a working car, a letter in the mail, a new supporter, re-kindled friendships, a good cup of coffee, and grace in the midst of my unbelief.

“For this reason it is by faith, in order that it may be in accordance with grace, so that the promise will be guaranteed to all the descendants, not only to those who are of the Law, but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all, (as it is written, “A FATHER OF MANY NATIONS HAVE I MADE YOU”) in the presence of Him whom he believed, even God, who gives life to the dead and calls into being that which does not exist. In hope against hope he believed, so that he might become a father of many nations according to that which had been spoken, “SO SHALL YOUR DESCENDANTS BE.” Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah’s womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform. Therefore IT WAS ALSO CREDITED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS. Now not for his sake only was it written that it was credited to him, but for our sake also, to whom it will be credited, as those who believe in Him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead, He who was delivered over because of our transgressions, and was raised because of our justification.”
Romans 4:16-25