So, this past weekend, my friend Jud and I packed up our tents, fishing poles, and wives and decided to make our virgin trip to the annual beer release day know as Dark Lord Day, and followed it up with a quick overnight camp.  I had been reading about DLD 2008 and the crazy lines and disappointed attendees that left empty-handed, but Jud and I managed to secure the ‘golden tickets’ that would ensure a successful trip.  At one point when we were standing in line and soaking up the intermittent sunshine, we began naming off the preparedness of the more seasoned folks around us.  My wife, who constantly reminds me of her amazingness, brought the conversation to a pause, saying, “well, I guess these are things we will need to keep in mind when we come back next year.” (more…)

Imagine my surprise this week when I finally realized that the war has started.  I come back from a weekend of celebration and worship to find that there is a war raging and the target is Christianity.

fox news shows the truth

Wait… that’s Christian America.  The war is against Christian America.

Nevermind.  I’ve just been reminded by fox news that there is no difference between the two.

My favorite example so far was the ‘hit piece’ above that recently ripped apart the University of Maryland’s student senate for voting to take a Judeo-Christian prayer out of the graduation ceremony.  Imagine that – a public university made up of students representing multiple religions removing a part of a ceremony that only represents the beliefs of a portion.

Oh, thank goodness fox news is there for me.  This senate is made up of “liberal professors and activist students.”  Those dang profs and crazy students in Maryland… why must you hate Christians?

These are the same students who are showing porn at a closed event.  Oh the whore horror (ha!).

Do you want to know what the real war on Christianity is?  It’s agents like fox news and the heritage foundation and their goons who think that Christian college students can’t make their own decisions to avoid porn being shown on campus.  That is a war on Christianity.  It’s these ridiculous ‘news’ stories that continue to weaken American Christianity and drive it to the fringe.  And good riddens.  The sooner we can cast this fake, watered down version of Christianity into a fiery lake of sulfur where it belongs, the better.

Christians at the University of Maryland don’t need a student senate telling them there will be a theatrical prayer to open up the graduation ceremony.  Christians at the University of Maryland, and apparently fox news and the heritage foundation, need to realize that every single person at the graduation ceremony can pray as much as they want whenever they want.  They can pray as they line up to head to the ceremony.  They can pray as they pull on their cap for the first time.  They can pray as their name is called.  They can pray as they walk across the stage and shake a trustee’s hand.  They can pray as the ceremony comes to a close.  Is some fake corporate prayer that was written weeks prior and vetted by a team of administrators somehow more powerful than individual Christians offering up words of thanks and worship?

Apparently so, according to fox news and the heritage foundation.  Hope they enjoy their superficial white suburban Jesus religion.

I didn’t have an alcoholic drink until I was 21.  It’s the kind of thing that makes conversations all awkward when I mention it out loud – especially when I’m with my church friends.  I know some people find it hard to believe I would abstain until the government told me I was old enough, but it’s true.

It wasn’t really a conscious decision.  I remember in high school my motivation heavily relied on the potential death that would come to me if my parents were to find out.  I don’t know why my fear was so high, but it made sure that I would stay sober all through high school. (more…)

It seems like most people have some type of yearly reflection around this time.  People start throwing out “best of” and “worst of” lists like their opinions should have some kind of authority.  Ignoring subjectivity completely, readers immediately react to these lists with enough vitriol to float a boat.  My solution?  Make lists that I can say that I am the authority.  So, here you go.

The Worst of 2008 for Me:
10. Getting my complete lack of drumming ability exposed by Rock Band 2.
9. The extended “sick, but not really really sick” battle I waged in November.  Two weeks of congestion and exhaustion was pretty much a big crapper.
8. The Great Comcast Battle of 2008
7. The extended “remodeling” of the Red Lion that kept it closed all of 2008.
6. My catalytic converter getting stolen off of my Jeep.  That really sucked and continues to keep the Jeep in Sucktown.
5. The seats when we took Sarah’s parents to see Jersey Boys.  A bad view, uncomfortable angle, and they ripped my pants.
4. The complete unraveling of the Cleveland Indians and Browns.  Both ended up being such letdowns after 2007.
3. The incredibly long and unrelenting winter of 2008.  I don’t think we saw anything over 30 degrees until May.
2. Getting a parking boot.  Stupid on many levels, but man, finding my Jeep with a giant yellow parking boot after work was just about the worst feeling ever.
1. Sarah taking a softball to the knee.  It made life challenging for a while and kept her on the bench for the rest of the year.  Oh, and the pressing fear that she wouldn’t be able to walk normally for the rest of her life.

Honorable mention: Owing taxes, the new Indiana Jones movie, and paying $10 for lunch way too often.

And now… the Best of 2008 for Me:
10. Sarah allowing me get away with growing a beard for the last several weeks of the year.  I’m guessing her acceptance will be endless.  If not, Sarah making me shave my beard will be on my 2009 “worst of” list.
9. The Great Nebraska Trip of 08.  This trip has redefined the awesomeness of summer.
8. The Dark Knight in IMAX.  Mind = blown.
7. Getting a Costco membership.  I know that sounds lame, but trust me, it is.  Even so, it has turned out to be pretty dang awesome.
6. Pastor Daniel’s “sex series” and forum.  It’s been quite a while since a pastor has spoken words that hit me the way his series did a couple months ago.
5. The Wii… and Rock Band 2… and WiiFit… and taking my dad down in Wii Bowling.
4. Getting engaged.  From the ring to talking to Sarah’s dad to postponed proposals to finally getting the word to come out of my mouth, this was probably the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever done.
3. The Weber 22.5″ One-Touch Gold kettle grill that was provided by the guys from my “bachelor weekend.”  This may continue to be on my 2009 “best of” list.
2. Brewing my first batch of beer ever with Jud.  Hopefully it leads to continued brewing and eventually some stellar beer.
1. Well, it’s not that hard to guess what my number 1 might be.  Obviously, it was discovering there was a Sonic in Ohio just off of I-70 near Dayton.

Honorable mention: Discovering the tv show Mad Men, Iron Man or Wall-E, Microsoft replacing my Xbox 360 quickly and for free.

Ok, for real, there were two pretty monumental occurences that will make 2008 incredibly memorable.  Enough so that they deserve their own list.

So, here it is… the Greatest of the Great in 2008:
2. Hearing Wolf Blitzer say, “We are ready to declare that Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States” while standing in Grant Park with my wife and some good friends.

and finally…
1. A month before election day, standing in front of a gazeebo somewhere in Michigan and wearing a nice suit, a beautiful woman for some reason agreed to spend the rest of her life with me.  That was pretty swell.

So that’s it.  2008 reduced to a couple of lists.  Disagree with any of it and I will have my friend Corey poke you in the eye.  He’s ready to do it too.

When I moved to Chicago, I knew very little of the current politics that ran the city.  I had heard the term alderman but had no clue that it meant “overpaid city councilperson.”  I knew some of the history of Chicago politics and the name Daley was recognizable.  It was the stuff that barely registers a blip outside of the city that was foreign to me.

I think my friend Karen was the first person to shed a little light.  I was in awe of the beauty of Millennium Park in downtown.  The cool sculptures and the amazing location was awe inspiring.  Karen, though, had a little different take on the park.  It turned out, Karen mentioned, that everything about the park was a slap in the face of Chicagoans.  It was a huge drain on taxpayers money sitting on stolen land taken in the middle of the night by a corrupt mayor.  I didn’t really believe her, though.  How could an entire city sit back and allow this to happen?

I think the past couple of years in the city have given me a better understanding as to why the city ignored the entire fiasco.  You see, Mayor Daley, he keeps the city running.  The parks are taken care of (for the most part) and the trains run – not on time, mind you – but they run.  Enough of the city either knows works for some part of the giant city bureaucracy or knows someone that does.  The garbage is picked up and every once in a while an idea bubbles to the surface that makes sense (blue recycling bags?  how do these people keep their jobs?).

As one of the largest cities in the world, you have to admit that being able to balance all of the basic city services is a hard task.  Now try doing that while increasing revenue from non-taxpayer sources – tourism, film permits, federal and state grant money – and you obviously have a job the requires bending the rules.  So that’s what has happened in Chicago and people generally seem to be OK with it.

Somewhere beneath the big happy picture, though, the foundation is rotting.  As I was standing in line at the Obama Election Party, I overheard a conversation that the person next to me was having with a Chicago police officer.  The civilian was mentioning how amazing it was that the mayor could pull off an event of the size and complicated nature of the Obama party.  The police officer seemed to put up with it for a few minutes before airing his disagreement.  He asked the lady if she knew the last time Chicago police officers received raises.  He asked if she would stay in her job if she didn’t get a raise in a three year span.  The lady mumbled “probably not” and turned away.

I thought this was a somewhat isolated incident, but I have a feeling more anti-Daley feelings are going to start finding their way into the public forum.  A couple of days ago, just moments after the first real snow accumulation in the city, Daley announced that the city snowplows were going to cut some residential streets from their routes.  The money wasn’t there to make sure all streets were clear.  So, for the taxpayers living on these streets, they could be happy knowing their tax dollars would be spent clearing off main arteries, but everyone else is out of luck.

Now, the mayor wants to privatize parking meter collections.  After all, we’ve privatized CTA and that has just worked… well, it hasn’t really worked at all.  Instead CTA has threatened shut downs and “doomsday” scenarios to strong-arm the state and city into fare hikes and unwarranted increases in funding.

So, anyway, back to the parking meters – the mayor wants to now privatize collections at city meters.  He wants to grant a 75 year contract to a company, and all that company wants in return?  How about a 400% increase in parking costs starting 1/1/09 in my neighborhood?  Oh, and that’s just in 2009.  The price will continue to escalate at alarming rates through 2013.

The mayor thinks it’s ok though because they promise to make all meters credit card compliant… in a couple of years or so.  After all, he doesn’t want folks to have to worry about carrying around almost $7 worth of quarters to park for an hour in the Loop.

The mayor has quickly forgotten what has kept him in office by large numbers – he has kept Chicagoans happy.  Unplowed streets, quarterly CTA fare hikes, a +10% sales tax, increased violent murders, disgruntled police officers, and unwarranted parking meter fare hikes are no way to keep the people happy.  It may not be in the next election, but I’m guessing that if this trend continues, 2016 Olympics or not, a changing of the guard will be here sooner than we though.

Dear President-Elect Obama,

First of all, SWEET PARTY in Grant Park the other night.  It was amazing.  I kept telling my friends – there’s no way this guy can pull off this shindig.  You proved me wrong, sir.  The pizza was so-so and hella expensive, but it’s cool.  I was hoping for an open bar or at least a keg, but hey, you did your best.  Maybe in 2012, right?

Now, the reason I’m writing.  I’m pretty excited about your presidency overall, but there’s a few things I’m hoping you can address in late January/early February.  I’m writing to you now because you probably need to get a head-start.  I’ve always heard that money helps grease the wheels, so I’m not afraid to bring up the multiple donations I sent your way over the course of the primary and presidential races.

So, without further ado, here’s what I’m thinking should probably be addressed: (more…)

If Sarah and I are graced with children someday (woah), talking about the presidential election of 2008 will have a special importance.  We had the chance to stand in Grant Park with 250,000 people and follow the election results all night.  Then, as the west coast states closed their polling places, we watched as Wolf Blitzer told us Barack Obama would be the 44th president of the United States.

I can’t write that without getting goosebumps and watery eyes.  The memory of raising my arms in jubilation with about 250,000 people, one of which was my wife of 30 days, is one I will never forget.  It was almost like a combined sigh of relief for a moment most of us probably at at least one time doubted we would ever see.  As much as I supported Obama from before his announcement in Springfield, to believe that he actually was named president-elect?  It’s still a struggle.

I remember talking with Sarah and realizing that she was as excited as I was, and the anticipation on the ride downtown.  I was wearing a button my friend Kelly bought me – it said “Beer Brewers for Obama.”  While beer brewing is still a yet-to-be-achieved dream, it was a fun, eye-catching button to wear.  Sarah and I were in a crowd of supporters as we walked from the station to the park.  It wasn’t long before we hit Michigan Avenue and saw the first real glimpses of the enormity of the crowd.

We were quickly divided into two groups – people with tickets and those without.  As Sarah and I pushed through to the ticket side, mounted police appeared and the hustling crowd slowed to a crawl.  We chatted with people around us as we made it through the first check point.  Lots of people were being turned away and the crowd control staff was visibly overwhelmed.

Once past the first check point, we made lots of ground as we crossed Columbus Drive flanked by mounted police.  We thought we were moments away from finding our place in the park, but we were definitely wrong.  We again slowed, this time to a complete stop.  That’s when it started to happen.  Pennsylvania was called for Obama.  Expected, yes, but incredibly important.  A loss in PA meant this race was a lot closer.  That’s when we pretty much all knew all we had to hear was Ohio or Florida.

We moved in clumps in that crowd as the check point gradually let us move past.  As much as we hated just standing there, it made sense and worked out well.  More people were turned away at this check point, so once we made it through it was another chunk of ground we had to cross.  This time it wasn’t just cops lining the path – the first Secret Service officers and Obama staffers began to appear.  We were told repeatedly not to run, but we were all making that awkward speed walk that kids do when you tell them not to run.

Once we made it to the metal detectors, Secret Service outnumbered the Chicago P.D.  The lines moved quickly as we literally had every ring of keys, cell phone, and camera inspected.  It actually moved really quickly considering the circumstances.  We were the first of our group to make it the entire way in so we found the closest spot  we could.  That’s when we heard it – Ohio.  For someone who bore a little of the blame from my Minnesota friends in 2004, I took great pride in my home state’s decision.  I also knew that this was it.  Any path to victory for McCain went through Ohio, and Obama had blocked it like my friend Geoff and Corey block my longest road in Settlers of Catan.  We would have to wait several hours though until the west coast polls would close and networks could ethically call the race.

The crowd was in high spirits.  Even though the networks weren’t calling it, we were all talking about the importance of the Ohio victory.  They flashed a county map and I saw that my home county was blue.  I literally choked up.  I wondered how my parents had voted.  I wondered if my mom was physically able to vote after her surgery.  Sarah soon made a trip to grab us a couple slices of pizza and some water.  She also brought back some of our best friends.

As we stood there and watched CNN on the giant screen, we cheered the Obama victories and booed the McCain wins – even the obvious ones.  We watched as Obama got closer and closer to 270 and anxiously waited for the polls to close on the west coast.  We counted down the seconds.  And then it happened.  Wolf acted like it was just another projection, but he flashed the words President Barack Obama on the screen.  A wave of disbelief hit the crowd for a half of a second… then an explosion.  We yelled at the top of our lungs and raised our arms in the air.  I turned to Sarah and hugged her with tears in my eyes.  My friends came next.  They just kept showing it over and over.  Jesse Jackson cried.  Oprah was flipping out.  And we were all there together in Grant Park.

The last sound check operator walked ot the podium and said, “Last sound check for the next president of the United States.”  We went crazy again.  They showed McCain’s speech, which garnered a mix of responses.  The mention of Palin was pretty much the only part that drew a widespread negative reaction.  The announcer came over the PA and we cheered as a bishop walked out to give the invocation.  We cheered again for the pledge and national anthem.  Anticipation was at a fever pitch.

Then… music.  Stevie Wonder.  Brooks and Dunn.  Buddy Guy.  More and more music.  The end of each song was a tease.  We stood there in disbelief as Obama’s appearance was delayed.  It was as if it was Christmas morning and your parents were making you wait to open gifts.  And then, as we waited for another song to come on, there he was.  Obama poked his head out and made his walk to the podium.  I was in disbelief.  It was real.

I will always have the words of his speech, but the experience of standing in Grant Park on that night will be one I have to hold on to in only a few pictures and my memory.  Here is hoping the next four (or eight) years prove to be worthy of that night.

Dear Senator John McCain,

You probably don’t remember me.  Eight years ago as you mounted the Straight Talk Express during the Republican Primary, I sent you a couple bucks because I thought you were poised to be a great leader.  Clinton was wrapping up his time in office and I felt you were the best candidate to follow him.  Times were good, weren’t they?  I was a college student at the time – just a blank slate of a freshman excited to vote in my first presidential primary. (more…)

Dear Comcast,

Here’s an idea.  Don’t stand up your customers.  Don’t send out technicians that have no idea what to do.  Don’t send out technicians without the proper equipment.

If you tell a customer that you will be at their residence on a specific date in a specific time frame, show up.  If your technician is delayed, don’t wait for your customer to call you.  Call your customer and let them know that the technician is running late.

Oh, and here’s a great one – if your customer’s land line is part of the reason the technician is needed, use the alternate number to reach your customer.  It’s on the account.  It’s been given to your phone operators several times.  SEVERAL times.  Call the alternate number.

A quick breakdown of the past couple of months:

- In August, I called to set up moving my account to my new apartment.  An appointment was set up in early September for a technician to come to the new apartment and make sure everything was working.  I gave the reprasentative on the phone my cell phone number and made sure to be at home during the scheduled time.  That technician never showed and never contacted me.  Luckily enough, the cable and internet worked perfectly fine when I hooked up my old equipment at the new address.

- A few days later, both the internet and cable stopped working.  The signal was shut off.  I called and was told a technician would need to come out.  The phone rep verified my cell phone as the contact number.  I sat patiently during the scheduled time only to be stood up again.  I called and was told I would need to reschedule.  The phone rep gave me a new date, time window, and verified my contact number as my cell phone number.  The phone rep also transferred me to a cable rep who sent a signal to my cable box and reactivated it.  Sadly, that helpful rep was not able to do the same with my cable modem.

- On the day of the rescheduled appointment, I sat in my apartment and waited.  After the first 2.5 hours of the 3 hour window went by with no technician, I called Comcast.  They told me they had to talk to dispatch and found out that there was some issue that delayed the technician.  Again, I had to reschedule.  The phone rep again confirmed my cell phone was the best contact number.

- It was my fourth scheduled appointment with a Comcast technician.  I was not going to wait 2.5 hours to call.  I called at the start of the window to verify that the technician would make it during the alotted time window.  I was assured that the technician would make it.  When the window had passed, I called again to ask the whereabouts of the technician.  The phone rep contacted dispatch and passed along that a technician was running late but would make it that day.  The technician arrived over an hour after the scheduled window and set to work.  I tried to explain the situation (I moved and I needed my cable modem set up), but he insisted he was here for a trouble call.  He checked all of the signals and told me I had a bad modem.  He brought in a new modem and said that would fix the problem.  He hooked it up to his hand-held tester and said it worked.  I hooked it up to my laptop and it worked.  The technician left and I set to work hooking up my wireless router.  The signal was gone.  I tried restarting everything and soon the lights on my cable modem began blinking.  I knew this was a problem.

- I called Comcast immediately and was told another technician would have to come out.  We set up the time and I again verified my cell phone as the contact info.  Why do I keep mentioning my cell phone?  Because I had still had yet to receive a reminder call (Comcast S.O.P.) or a call from a technician.  They all had been calling the land line number that did not work.  This was late September – a month after setting up the original move appointment – and we still did not have internet or a working land line.  The technician showed up during the scheduled time window, but did not call.  I just happened to notice the Comcast truck and had to meet the technician outside.  Apparently the number he was given was the land line.  He checked all of the signals and decided it was another bad cable modem.  He hooked up a brand new modem and still had blinking lights.  He said a line technician would have to check the wiring within 48 hours.  We were supposed to have everything working when we returned from our honeymoon.  Shockingly, it did not.  We returned from our honeymoon and had no internet or land line.

- I call Comcast one more time and explain everything.  The original move, the missed appointments, the first technician that replaced the working modem, the second techinician that replaced the modem again and set up a wire technician, and what am I told to do?  Restart my modem.  That’s the answer.  I told the phone rep that the second technician had not connected the new modem to my account, but the phone rep ignored me and angrily told me to again restart the modem.  I complied and tried to explain the situation again, only to be told that I was wrong.  Another technician would have to come out.

- The night before the appointment I received my first reminder call.  I had hope.  We also had a new problem – our cable box was freezing up.  The picture was still working, but we couldn’t change the channel or get anything on the remote or on the box to work.  We had to unplug the cable box every 5 to 10 minutes just to change the channel.  I called Comcast to report the new problem and was told the technician could also address the cable box issue.  A half hour into the scheduled time window, the technician called and said he was on his way.  I was ecstatic.  He showed up and told me he was here to replace my cable modem.  I told him the modem wasn’t broken and he did some investigating.  He realized – surprisingly – that I was right.  The last technician that came out hooked up the new box but didn’t associate it with my account.  The lineman fixed the line issue, but my modem wasn’t activated.  He activated the modem and the signal came through.  Success!  With a new sense of hope, I asked him about the additional cable box problem.  He had nothing on his trouble ticket about a cable box problem.  Did the phone rep simply lie to me?  Interesting.

- We drove to the Comcast office and exchanged our cable box in person and it looks like we are officially operating effectively – almost two months after setting up the original move appointment.  I’m keeping my eye on the new AT&T coverage area because as soon as their cable service is available, I think it will be time for a change.  There’s just no sense in the Comcast approach to customer service.

I’m losing the battle of balance right now.  Work is completely overwhelming at times, which means the few moments I have in the evening are spent decompressing and reviewing the massive list of to-do’s before the wedding.  It’s not a good way to build up to a fun wedding day.

Holy crap… the wedding.  It’s like it somehow went undetected for the past few months only to decide that now is the moment to reappear and remind me that is it less than two weeks away.  There’s so much that has been accomplished (mostly by my wife-to-be and her mom), but the remaining list is frustrating.  I think we just need a solid 4 hour chunk of time to sit down and pick out gifts for our friends in the wedding and finalize the list of cheesy dance favorites for our DJ, but that is only a scratch on the surface.

Finding those four hours is quickly turning into a wild goose chase.  An elusive white whale comprised of ties that need to be picked out, seating charts that need to be assigned, and table centerpieces that have to be finished.  Oh, and tracking down a huge list of people that still haven’t submitted an RSVP either way.

…and I need to find a shiny new pair of black shoes… for my gigantic feet… that don’t require me to take out a loan.

Fun times, my friends.

But soon… soon, Sarah and I will be here:

(why is the “Business Time” song by Flight of the Conchords playing in my head…)