Planet RMFO Blog

Well, tomorrow morning we officially begin our look for a new church here in the Cedar Rapids area. We’re starting at a church called Stonebridge, a medium-sized Evangelical Free church on the southwest side of town. They’re just on their second week in a new building, which actually didn’t affect our decision to try them out… if anything we’re tentative, figuring that it’ll take them a few weeks in the new building to hit stride and get the kinks worked out.

I’m surprised by how nervous I am about visiting a new place tomorrow. I know, I’m an engineer, I don’t do change well. We’ll just pray that it goes well and that God gives us some clarity in the upcoming weeks and months as to where we should land.

I’m not even a dog person, but this had me tearing up. It’s a video of a soldier seeing his dogs after returning from being in Iraq for 14 months. (He notes that it was prearranged . . . which is kind of obvious, because it’s not like the dogs were running the camera. hehe.)

I have to admit, this is an area where dogs beat Big Bunny. She’s only excited to see me when I am eating crackers or popcorn. Because she wants me to share.

HT: The Daily Dish

1. This week I worked a lot throwing coffee around. As a result I was in bed Thursday by 8:30 like an elderly woman who has just digested the last of her 4:00 dinner at the cafeteria.

2. Yesterday everywhere I went I kept seeing customers from work, or people from church. In a city of 300,000 that seems weird.

3. Today we’re driving to Charlotte to pick up a new TV and chair and ottoman. We have to pick up a Uhaul in a few minutes. I loath having to go get the truck and then bringing it back at the end of the day. Un-fun.

4. Over at Rifftrax they have a new thing where you can upload your own commentary for any movie. Marty and I are doing one. I’ve been hacking away at it for two weeks. I think it’s funny, but I may just be amusing myself.

5. I think I have to go get ready to get the truck now.

Wheee!

So I think I may have found my favorite drink.

I had my first taste of a port today at the Dry Comal Creek Vineyard, their 1096, which spends 3 years and a day (hence the name 1096) in oak casks at the winery, and then at dinner, I had a glass of Taylor Fladgate 20 year tawny.

All I can say is that the aroma and flavor of both were amazing. There is a richness, a fullness to port that rolls over the tongue.

I look forward to trying more. Too bad port is so expensive.

Things I’ve linked recently:

• Sorry, Dad, I’m Voting for Obama - The Daily Beast
  Christopher Buckley (son of the late Wm. F. Buckley, Jr) is voting Obama.
  (tags: politics conservative barack_obama )

Everyone at my school is reading Twilight. Students, of course. Middle school students were born to read this series. And the teachers? Many teachers have found that, like me, they cannot turn away from the drama. And the principal? Is also addicted. You guys, I am so sad about this. Because everyone is reading them now. And I read them a year ago (well, except for Breaking Dawn, but . . . let me whisper this so I don’t get beaten up by hordes of angry middle schoolers . . . I didn’t really like Breaking Dawn). I was entertained, but I did not love them. And I don’t really want to go see the movie, because it looks so bad. That first trailer was like a terrible Lifetime movie. At least the story is a page-turner. The movie doesn’t even look like it has that going for it. I see pictures of Richard Pattinson, and I think, “How can people not know he’s a vampire? He looks undead!”

But anyway, back to the books. It’s not just my school! The general blogosphere is now reading them now. I am feeling kind of left out of that, too. Emily and I talked about it yesterday and discussed my feelings of left-outedness. And then we talked about things that are spoilers from Breaking Dawn that I will not mention here. Are you finished yet, Emily? Because I would kind of like to discuss the end with you.

I am already left out enough by the fact that . . . I’d better whisper this, too . . . I like Jacob so much more than Edward. Shhhhhhh! Most of the other teachers seem to feel the same way, and we keep talking about how we would like to make all the girls who are reading the books come to a big meeting so we can tell them, Look, it seems romantic that Edward is so into Bella, and at first that might seem really great and all, but if you think about it, their relationship is really codependent. He’s kind of creepy. And controlling. Breaking her car to keep her from seeing her friends is not cool. And also he sneaks into her room to watch her sleep. Sure, he’s good-looking and perfect and all, but WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IT’S NOT ALL THAT ROMANTIC FOR A GUY TO SNEAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AT NIGHT. There’s more to relationships than lust, girls. We want more than that for you. Think about it.

(We know they would not listen, but we would just like to say it.)

(Also, Bella is always talking bad about herself, how clumsy she is and how she’s not worthy of Edward, and that drives me freaking crazy. Could we make our protagonist a little bit stronger, please, since all these girls are wanting to be like her? STEPHENIE MEYER: DO IT FOR THE LIBRARIAN.)

Tonight we went and saw Dracula at Triad Stage. They have a new area upstairs that’s a little more informal, with tables. I told Mike and Brian and Sarah that if Dracula came anywhere near our table, that I would be out of there. And he didn’t exactly come near our table, but he was only about two tables away. I am a big chicken, and I got chills in my spine. I do not like scary things. It was more creepy than flat-out scary, but there were vampires eating babies and this one guy ate a rat. And the sound effects were freaky howling and screaming. I was not a fan of the creepiness. (I did, however, enjoy the play.)

So I have to thank Dracula, because he did something that I didn’t think was possible: He made me miss Edward Cullen. Even though Edward is so revoltingly dazzling, etc. Edward might give Bella chills in her spine (of a very different sort, obviously), but he, thankfully, leaves my spine alone.

[shoulder update: i went for my 2nd appointment at the orthopedist on Wednesday and he recommended another month of PT. i had talked it over with the PT i had been seeing, and decided i would ask for an MRI if he did not recommend it first. i asked him about getting an MRI done now, because of the job possibilities (nothing yet, but i don't want the shoulder thing hanging out there if i don't have to) and a limit on PT visits in a year. he understood, and i have an MRI scheduled for next week.]

ever since i started going to PT for my shoulder, i’ve been going to the gym three times a week to lift weights and stuff. the PT place is at the gym, so i figured i had no excuse to not go lift weights afterward because IT IS RIGHT THERE! anyway, i am able to do everything that doesn’t involve lifting something over my head or machines where my arm is lifted. one of the first times i started going, this gym employee kind of startled me because i was reading something on a bulletin board, and this guy walks right by me and goes “hey” as i’m turning around. he kind of sideled up to me because i had no idea he was going to be right there. we had this awkward “i didn’t mean to scare you/oh don’t worry, it’s okay” conversation. now though, every time since that i’ve seen him, he makes sure to say hey. it’s kind of creepy. when i go to the gym, i just want to work out, i don’t want to have awkward head nods or conversations.

fast forward to today…..i walk up to get my keychain scanned by one of the people at the desk and there’s the guy! and as the girl behind the desk starts to walk over, he goes “no, i got this one” (creepy). apparently he thinks he’s my friend. so he scans my keychain which pulls up my info and he says “have a good workout scott”. i hate that! they used to have the scanner where you could scan the keychain yourself, but they changed it a few months ago, and now you have to have one of the employees scan it. so sometimes they use your name which bugs me because i don’t know their name, but they are telling me to have a good workout. anyway, so i go change clothes and start doing PT on my shoulder (i’ve stopped going to actual PT until i get MRI results) and Creepy Gym Guy comes up to me. he says “looks like you’re rehabbing your shoulder, what’d you do to it?” so i had to tell him how i didn’t know, and it might be a torn labrum or an impinged muscle, they don’t know, i won’t know until i get an MRI, etc. nothing i wanted to talk about with someone i didn’t know, i just wanted to pull the handle on this machine down 25 times and move on. so then he starts saying how he messed up his shoulder and he had to do rehab and how he missed playing golf, then he asked me if i played golf. i was wishing the guy would leave me alone. i get it, i get that he wants to be friendly, but i don’t want to talk to him. he asked me where i played golf, and i told him the course out by my house, but only cause it’s the cheapest. he said he knows a guy that lives out there, and if i know him. (there’s like 500 people in that neighborhood, i don’t know anyone) i told him i didn’t, so he says “oh, he’s probably 10 years older than you, what are you like 28?” i answered “yeah, something like that.” after that exchange i guess he had to go wash some towels or something.

this was not the only awkward conversation i had of the day….when i got to work this morning, i noticed BO Guy was already there. he usually gets there about 8:00 am with his rolling briefcase. i acknowledged him by saying “hey, you’re here early”. uh oh. then i had to have a 10 minute conversation where i learned when he lived in California, he would wake up at 4 am, start the broiler (not sure what was on the broiler), go run 2 and a quarter miles, then come home, flip the broiler, then take a shower. he would leave his house by 6:30 to get to work by 6:50. the whole time i was going “dude, i didn’t want to get into all of this.” so weird.

A couple of weeks ago, we had a pretty severe gas shortage here in Atlanta. Hurricane Gustav and Hurricane Ike each made landfall in the Louisiana and Texas area and forced shutdowns of gas refineries. A couple days later, word began to spread around town that gas supplies might get low and the people of Atlanta did what they do best. Freak out. This is, after all, the town that clears out the bread and milk aisles at the grocery stores when one snowflake hits the ground. It wasn’t long before lines formed at gas stations 30, 40, and even more cars deep.

Now, I was determined not to participate in this. I was determined to wait it out and hold out until the shortage ended. I thought the shortage might last days, however it turned out lasting weeks. The funny part is even though I had nowhere to go, I still felt a lot of anxiety about the shortage. I had a car with a tank full of gas. I could make 100 trips to the grocery store and back before needing a fillup, so we were in no danger of starving or running out of supplies for the kids. I was telecommuting from home, so I didn’t have any need to buy gas to drive to work. Yet, the fear that I would be stranded (and I guess I was, by choice) was paralyzing. I found myself checking newsite every couple minutes, hoping to find some encouraging news to things would end soon. Of course, the newsites only fed my fear, there were no answers to be found immediately. So, for a full two weeks, for no good reason, I was gripped with anxiety.

I learned a lot about myself during that time. I talk a lot about “trusting God and depending on him only”, but when it comes down to it, I’m not very good at it. When my life as I know it as threatened, I don’t take as well I should. I’d like to think I didn’t make a total fool of myself (I wasn’t swinging punches or yelling at people at the gas pump), but still, I think I could’ve have been a little calmer and trusted that God is going to take care of me and my family.

Now that the shortage is over, the news has moved on to more anxiety filled events. I knew the election would be all about fear as each political party told us what awful things would happen if their opponent was elected. Now, we have the daily update of dread about the economy to pile on top of it. It’s good to keep up on current events, but I must never forget, there is always another impending disaster to report. I can’t forget there’s only one place to find Good News.

It’s probably not a good idea to make tuna salad in a house that also contains a very fat cat if you want to eat your lunch in peace.

One of the funny things about the place I teach is that we still use chalkboards, as opposed to the white boards you find in most public schools (or the telepathic, mind-transference devices used in elite private institutions). As a result, I usually spend my days walking around with gray hands and dusty pants. (Incidentally, “Gray Hands and Dusty Pants” would be a great title for a John Mellencamp song.)

So now I’m typing this as my fingers are gripping the keys to an unnecessary degree, and I look like I just walked off the mat at a gymnastics meet. And why? So that some 14 year olds can know about reforms in urban America at the turn of the 20th century.

What can I say? I make the world a better place.

Even as I continue typing, little puffs of chalk-dust pop into the air with each keystroke, and the powder from my pants clouds the air arounds me as I gyrate my pelvis to the rhythm of my typing, as I am wont to do. Seriously you guys, I look like Taz when I blog.

Also, I am slathered in blood.

The class times, and weeks are flying away like autum leaves. With each passing week it’s one closer to graduating college. It’s the most surreal, bittersweet season of my life so far. I can’t believe after four years of commuting, working part-time, going to school full-time, moving twice a year (on average), changing majors, changing theology, changing visions, growing up, maturing, sacrificing…I’ll have a B.A. to show for it all. I never wanted to go back to school, because I was ignorant and stubborn. But now I have a growing respect for myself and for others who have degrees. Because of what this process really means.
“So what’s after graduation?”. It’s that question everyone asks, but I always dread. Its like asking the young married couple when they are going to have kids or the old couple when they are going to retire or the high school graduate when they are going back to school. No one asks about who you are or what you have become or want to become. It’s all about doing.
I love telling people that I plan on doing nothing after I graduate, because they either try to help me plan out my life or they change the subject. Its always telling of what they think a college degree will do for person. Usually that concerned, furrow-browed look shows up when I say “nothing” and I realize that they think there is some career with a salary just waiting for me. Good thing I know better.
So what will I do. There are so many things I would love to do and that Ive talked about doing. Move to Portland and live a urban, young adult life. Pursue worship as a ministry calling by going to YWAM. Seminary. (Like I actually looked at Princeton Seminary the other day. I dont know why. They’ll never accept me and I dont want to go to seminary.) Travel to Europe. Travel to see my friends. Travel anywhere. Maybe go on a date. Like a real date. With a guy Ive never met. Who pays for dinner and has intentions. Pay off bills and save up for the next step in life. Loose 90 lbs. Ok, Ill take 80lbs. Go see a counselor. Do all the things Ive put off doing the last four years of my life. The world is my oyster. And I have the rest of my life to figure it out. Because I really dont want to do anything right away.
Because here’s the deal. Here is something people dont tell you about going to college. They dont tell you that you may leave college fragmented. They dont tell how to synthesize all those smaller parts of you that have been challenged, inspired, changed, matured, educated. Maybe they did and I just missed that. Maybe its assumed that because you declare a major that you are really fragmented at all. Maybe thats the result of a Liberal Arts education. Maybe Im just a different kind of student.
So I actually do know what I will be doing. I will be waiting. I will be waiting for the dust of academic life to settle, for the reality of post-collegiate life to set in and to see what emerges from my fragmented self. Because I dont think I can move forward in any long-term direction yet. I know who I am and I dont. I know myself better than Ive ever known myself and yet I dont know myself at all. I need to see what has stuck, what I need to drop, what I need to keep and what I need to pursue. My fear is that it will all cave in on me and Ill become depressed. Haha. But my great hope is that after awhile something will emerge…something greater than I could ever image….and Ill be suprisingly blown away by what I find. And out of that….will be the begin of my best life now.

As a kid, I spent a lot of time in the doctor’s office. Therefore, I read a lot of Highlights magazines. I loved the stories, I loved the finding objects in the picture game. And I LOVED Goofus and Gallant. Maybe I loved it because, as a kid, I thought in black and white. Good and bad. And that was Goofus and Gallant. These were flat characters my friends. And I loved that.

So, as I do with all things I love, I will now mimic it in a way to get cheap laughs. Because, as an adult, I’ve learned there’s a lot of gray mixed in between the black and white. A middle-ground between the extremes. But what fun is middle-ground? So here I present, Goofus and Gallant, in the workplace.

Goofus stands around at other people’s desks, giggling and gossiping.
Gallant works so hard that he doesn’t even know the last names of his co-workers.

Goofus plays with his co-worker’s hair and doesn’t understand personal space.
Gallant has never made physical contact at the workplace.

Goofus takes personal calls on the speakerphone in his cubicle.
Gallant NEVER takes personal calls. That is why he missed the birth of his first three children, who were born between the hours of 9 and 5 on weekdays.

Goofus calls in sick when he needs a vacation.
Gallant has 8,000 unused vacation hours. And he has never called in sick. He actually had his appendix removed at work while completing spreadsheets.

Goofus steals paperclips, pens and printers from the supply closet.
Gallant recycles toilet paper at work. That’s stewardship there, folks.

Goofus takes three hour lunches that he charges to his company.
Gallant purees his food so he can drink it through a straw while working.

Thoughts from multiple discussions over the last week:

Most of the time, when people come to tell you that they’re frustrated or upset with you (be it your spouse, a friend, a church member, etc), what they’re looking for first of all isn’t a solution to the problem; what they first want is to be heard. Down deep they know that you love them and want the best for them, but if you go immediately into problem-solving mode without having first stopped to really listen, instead of helping the situation you end up reinforcing their unhappiness.

It’s hard to just keep your mouth closed, listen, and not immediately be defensive, but quiet listening and acceptance (not necessarily accepting the fault, but accepting that the hurts are real) will accomplish much.

I still have plenty to learn in this regard.

Things I’ve linked recently:

• Eclipse of the Gospel in the Church
  "So the point is that our first and greatest battle is to gospelize the church. "

  AMEN.

  (tags: church gospel )

Specifically a 500gb drive and two 250gb drives. I have no need for these right now. Anyone want a hard drive?

Things have been somewhat calm here on the Midwestern front. Fall is gently moving in to town. The leaves are changing to a lovely shade of red, then to a different hue of orange and finally jumping off the branch to the dreadful brown death that they are so destined for. Such is life for the fine piece of foliage who awakens our spring, shades us in summer and leaves us cussing as they litter our lawn like a million little peaces of candy wrappers. They once provided such great joy for us, and now all that’s left is the clean up.

 

Old men are turning on their leaf blowers to clear the natural debris from their yard to their neighbor’s yard - the neighbor without the lead blower, who in turn has to rake all his leaves and their newfound friends that jumped the border. The old man look out their window and let out a laugh at the young, poor neighbor as he tries to pick up the leaves and place them in an orange garbage bag with a pumpkin painted on the front of it - only to have the majority of them fall back on the ground.

 

But alas, Autumn has arrived for her annual visit. Supermarkets are filling up with the fruits of the harvest - pumpkins, gourds, squash - the smell of fresh apple cider is in the air. Bags of candy corn are filling the shelves beside chocolates wrapped in foil with pictures of spiders and cobwebs. Little girls who 11 months of the year run from such eight-legged creatures come running the other way, just to taste the sweet goodness that Autumn brings to town.

 

However, Autumn like the practical joker that she is fools us every year. Every year we get the feeling she’s coming to visit a little bit earlier. We can hear her coming. We can smell her sweet aroma in the air. However, like the Red Headed whore that she is, she leaves us after making us fall in love.

 

Every year it’s the same thing. We celebrate the jubilation of her arrival like a father with his prodigal son. Soon, all we’re left with is a mess of brown leaves and rotten pumpkins. Our cupboards are left with stale spider candy and our fridges stocked full of apple cider. We thought this was the year. The year she committed to us. The year that she stayed around a little bit longer… but no. Autumn is a gypsy. She’s moved on. Maybe it’s time we do too.

 

Soon however, Autumn will be leaving again. That’s not the bad news. No. The bad news is in fact; her older, uglier brother winter will be in town before long, depressing us to no end.

Overall, I am feeling a lot better than I did, say, two weeks ago at this time. I think my class assignments (for the classes I am taking) are spacing out a little bit better, and we got some good news tonight about not having to keep our online journals quite as much. Hooray!

Other good things this week:

-We are having dinner with my friend Kim tomorrow.

-We will be having dinner and seeing a play with Brian and Sarah on Friday.

-My students acted like angels when my professor came to observe my class. (ANGELS. WHO ARE THESE STUDENTS, AND WHERE IS MY ACTUAL CLASS?) (Actually, scratch that. I don’t want to know where my actual class is. Because they are probably up to some shenanigans. I’ll keep this one, thanks.)

-Speaking of which . . . The Amazing Library Race that I created actually worked! They did it! And they liked it! Yay!

-Mike made pumpkin pie.

-Our neighbor’s birthday was Saturday and we went to his birthday party. And stayed until 11:00 pm.

-When my back was hurting yesterday, Mike bought us a new heating pad. He is totally my favorite.

-I have been reading more this week. (My totals for this year are woefully bad. My brain, it is rotting.)

-I made an individual pizza for dinner.

-I bought new clothes on Sunday!

-That house with all the awesome signage now has a new sign! And it’s another homemade one! Are you ready for it? I don’t have a picture, but it says, “A woman belongs in the house . . . THE WHITE HOUSE!” And it has another giant picture of Sarah Palin. I don’t know about you, but I am somehow getting the impression that these are Palin voters, not McCain voters. They really like some giant Sarah Palin at that house.

-The fact that the house with all the awesome signage doesn’t have the signs up when I am driving to work, but they do when I come home. I assume they take their signs down at night so they won’t get stolen. May I just say . . . driving by in the afternoons is one of the best parts of my day. I am always excited to see what will happen there next.

Simple pleasures, gentle readers. Life is all about simple pleasures.

Sweetest child of God
Countless prayers are lifted up
For safety and peace

Listening to: Andrew Peterson - “Faith To Be Strong”

Give us faith to be strong
Father, we are so weak
Our bodies are fragile and weary
As we stagger and stumble to walk where you lead
Give us faith to be strong

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it’s hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us peace when we’re torn
Mend us up when we break
This flesh can be wounded and shaking
When there’s much too much trouble for one heart to take
Give us peace when we’re torn

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it’s hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us hearts to find hope
Father, we cannot see
How the sorrow we feel can bring freedom
And as hard as we try, Lord, it’s hard to believe
So, give us hearts to find hope

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it’s hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us peace when we’re torn
Give us faith, faith to be strong

(Women’s Bible Study reflections based on the “Glory Questions”: Meditating on God’s Word to be Transformed from Glory to Glory)

Acts 3:1-10
Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the ninth hour, the hour of prayer. And a man who had been lame from his mother’s womb was being carried along, whom they used to set down every day at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, in order to beg alms of those who were entering the temple. When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he began asking to receive alms. But Peter, along with John, fixed his gaze on him and said, “Look at us!” And he began to give them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, “I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene–walk!” And seizing him by the right hand, he raised him up; and immediately his feet and his ankles were strengthened. With a leap he stood upright and began to walk; and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. And all the people saw him walking and praising God; and they were taking note of him as being the one who used to sit at the Beautiful Gate of the temple to beg alms, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

God can heal. He heals the physical. Even more difficult is the healing of the heart and He does that as well. Through Christ, we are healed in mind and spirit. We may still bear outward infirmities, but we are given the power and the tools (Scripture, His Spirit) to be made whole. He takes broken lives, lives that have given up, lives that have been given up on and restores them. We have no choice but to go into His temple and praise Him. Rejoicing over Him who took us from our despair and brought us into His rest and His love. If we truly lived in this, lives would be different. Relationships would be easier because we would view those around us with the same eyes that we were viewed with by God. This should cause us to enter His temple with praises, but since we so often choose not to live in this manner, we seldom return to Him the praise that is due Him. It is easier to live in or brokenness, telling ourselves that we are, in fact, no broken at all. The more we tell ourselves that, the more we believe it. We find those “friends” who will feed into that lie and ignore the counsel of those friends (true friends) who will speak truth and the knowledge of His healing into our hearts. The world tells us it is ok to be broken. And it is, but that brokenness is no an end, as they would have you believe, but rather a jumping off point from which the healing can begin. Refusing to be open to the healing that is so necessary condemns us to a life of bitterness and often solitude, as we no longer trust those around us. In order to live a life that is open to healing, we must trust those around us to speak His truth into our hearts and minds. We must be continually in the Word, “continually devoting [ourselves] to prayer”, as it says over and over again of the disciples. This means even when we don’t feel like it. Even when we’ve slid back and aren’t feeling “whole” or “healed” at the present moment. Of all the ways to receive His words of healing and promise, I need to work on meditating on His Word. This tool of the Glory Questions is giving me the opportunity to do so. I just need to continue to grow in the discipline of doing it. The encouragement of those around me in Bible Study is a great help toward this end…or beginning, as it truly is.

Do you ever have those days when you can’t stop thinking about something, even though you know that you really shouldn’t be thinking about it? I’ve been like that a few weeks now. It always happens with me. I go to a friend’s wedding and for weeks after I keep thinking about what my wedding will be like or if I will ever get to have a wedding. This last time has been the most interesting. Last weekend I was listening to a new CD that I bought with one of my Christmas giftcards (it has been on my list of CDs to buy for a few months now!) and the last song came on and all of a sudden I had one of those strange moments where you can see yourself. I was dancing at my wedding. I’ve never had a song that I thought “Hey, I want them to play this at my wedding reception!” I’ve thought of songs for pretty much every part of the ceremony, but never for my first dance. It was actually quite humorous because I was driving to my parent’s house in Orlando when I was listening to it and I put the song on repeat so that I could hear it again and I actually missed my exit to their house. I’ve driven that road MANY times, but apparently, I was so enthralled with the song that I drove right past it!

I should totally be in bed right now, but I heard the song again as I was driving home tonight and I just can’t get it out of my head. In my head I’m waltzing (well, sort of waltzing…the song has a waltz rhythm.) with my faceless Mr. Darcy and for some reason I just needed to write about it. I’ve needed to write for a while, but I just haven’t. This is as good a time as any, I suppose. So, that’s where I am. Somewhere between reality and a song and a hope.

(dÄ­s’kÉ™n-tÄ›nt’)
n.
1.
a. Absence of contentment; dissatisfaction.
b. A restless longing for better circumstances.
2. One who is discontented.

adj. Discontented

Ok, now I know what it means. Now to tackle the thing itself. I’ll let you know how that’s going. And now back to work…

Ok, so my last post was a little bit melancholy. I admit it. It happens sometimes. But here’s the thing, there really isn’t anything wrong with being discontent. It all depends on what your discontent is focused on. When I first wrote the post I was feeling a general discontent with my life as it is: still single, at that point not doing something that I really loved, not really doing much with music. Basically, I was having a pity party. (As Lindy would say, “complete with decorations and a cake”) What I have come to realize after writing that and really meditating on it (and have meant to write for several weeks now) is that I should be discontent, but not with those things. I should be discontent with how I spend my time. I should be discontent with the way that I spend my money. I should be discontent with the way that I sometimes treat my friends.

A restless longing for better circumstances

That is how I should feel about those kinds of things. And so, I am now going to leave my apartment on this beautiful spring day and ride my bike (and not waste gas) and enjoy the gift that God has given me today.

Grace & Peace.

Or not so wild. All I can say is that the river was so much stinkin’ fun. My friends and I canoed the Wekiwa River today in Apopka and a good time was had by all. I only steered myself and my Lizzy Bennet into a few trees and even then, we’re blaming that on the currents. (Yeah, that’s it!) I am going to feel this tomorrow. 6:00 am will be here way too soon. I’m singing two services in the morning and then going to Orlando to see the family in the afternoon. Something tells me that tonight and tomorrow night I will be in bed extremely early. And I’ve just realized that I have something every night next week. Wow. So much for resting up for my week ahead!!

Anyway, Happy Easter to all. Enjoy the times with loved ones celebrating the resurrection of our Sovereign Lord!

Grace & Peace!

I’ve been really busy over the weekend and so far this week.

Here’s a card.

So, it’s been a month since I’ve written, as some people have pointed out. This has been a good month though. I’ve taken steps, leaps, bounds, if you will. I’ve started going dancing again. Remind me again why I stopped? I know, I know…it was called gas money, but once I started again I don’t really care as much. So, I don’t eat out as much. That’s better for me anyway. And dancing, what a better way to exercise! Sure, you get sweaty, but you get to look really cute doing it! Everyone would look at me like I was crazy if I wore a cute dress to go run the lake! (Ok, everyone can stop laughing now picturing me running the lake. And I don’t even mean with a dress on. Just the thought of me running is enough to invoke laughter!) But really, it’s a great time and I’ve missed it. And I’ve missed the people. Other than that, life is good. Busy, but good. I’m singing more, which I love. I’ve been practicing my guitar some, which is therapeutic. The discontent that was so overshadowing in months past is still there from time to time, but I’m not letting it rule me. That’s not what I was made for. So, there is an update, a window looking into my world, a distraction for those not wanting to study for finals (karis”skins”medina), and hopefully a glimpse of things to come. Until next time, friends…

Grace & Peace.

Stephanie tagged me to share 6 unspectacular quirks about myself:

1) I love the History Channel. I have been known to sit and watch shows like Cities of the Underworld and Surviving History for hours. Seriously.

2) I don’t do well with music that is not in tune. For example, I cannot watch American Idol before they get to Hollywood. (And even then, sometimes…) I have this weird head tilt thing that happens, as if to say, “You’re almost there…I know that you can get that note to not be flat!”

3) While we’re on music, I can be listening to music and singing along with it, while typing something completely unrelated. Still don’t know how I do that one.

4) When eating vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup (which I LOVE), I have to mix them up completely before I eat it.

5) I don’t always like constraints. For example, I don’t want to come up with a 6th quirk right now, so I’m not going to. HA. Take that!

“Dark and silent late last night, I think I might have heard the highway calling…”

Hmm…more thoughts to come…

Ok, 9 out of 10 friends would say that I a new blog is long overdue. (And the 10th one apparently doesn’t realize that I HAVE a blog and that’s the only reason that they don’t think so.) And I would have to agree with them. Really? 4 months? Really? And these have probably been some of the most important months that I’ve had in many, many years! Seriously, Heather. WHAT have you been thinking?

Well, mostly I’ve just been busy! Busy doing what, you ask? Well, a large chunk of time has been spent driving back and forth from Brandon to hang out with my fabulous boyfriend, Ben. He’s wonderful. We’ve been dating for a little over 3 months now. We met swing dancing back in May. (About a week before my last post, actually) Did I mention that he’s wonderful? If you would like more information, you know where to find me. I’ve also been told that I needed to attach some pictures. So, I am attaching some pictures!

And, in other news, I finally have a new computer. And yes, it is a Macbook, which means that it actually works. (Unlike my Dell, which no longer knows that it has a hard drive and took all of it’s information to the grave with it.) This means that I should be able to post a bit more often!

This just in! Breaking news! (Did that sound exciting?) I also have a new job. I am now the receptionist at Trinity Presbyterian Church! Which means that I should probably get back to work.

International Justice Mission - 2008 Houston Benefit Dinner on 30 October 2008.

Our friend, Scott, let us know about this, and we’ll be attending. If anyone else is interested, you can register at the link above.

IJM is a Christian “human rights agency that secures justice for victims of slavery, sexual exploitation and other forms of violent oppression.” I first heard about them at Urbana almost a decade ago, and have been keeping track of their work. They work largely in the developing world, although when the need arises, they work in developed countries as well.

A quick blurb from their website points out their accomplishments in 2007.

In 2007, IJM casework brought tangible relief to 1663 victims of oppression.

* 267 people were freed from slavery
* 207 women and children were freed from forced prostitution
* 393 people received citizenship and 567 received upgraded legal status
* 172 people recovered illegally seized property
* 281 perpetrators were arrested

If you feel so led, please join us on the 30th.

Here’s some important news out of yesterday’s Portage Daily Resister (Wisconsin):

JR Hildebrandt is always looking for ways to raise money for the Tri-City Children’s Dream Foundation, an organization that grants dreams to children with special needs.

His latest venture is to paddle an 800-pound pumpkin down the Wisconsin River. He started his trip Monday and will go through the Portage area this week.

Along the way, Hildebrandt said he hopes people will donate to raise funds for a new project for the foundation. The trip works out to be about 150 miles, which he figures will take about eight days. He has eight stops along the way, and he said he hopes people seeing the pumpkin or hearing about the trip will make donations to the group at each stop.

I’m happy to report that JR Hildebrandt’s heart is in the right place. Having said that, what in the hell is this all about? His plan is to paddle a massive pumpkin 150 miles through rural Wisconsin in hopes of raising awareness and funds for an organization that “grants dreams to children with special needs”? What does that even mean? What sorts of dreams are granted? The sort of twisted, bizarre dreams that might feature imagery like the photo that accompanies this article?

Looking at that photograph again, I also have some questions about JR’s paddling technique. Has he done this before? He looks like a disinterested 7th grade girl at bat in a phy ed softball game.

On the plus side, it’s probably fun to spend eight days reeking of pumpkin and river water.

Things I’ve linked recently:

• Sharpe’s little blog » Blog Archive » While the nations rage
  (tags: cjh_comment )

I haven’t posted here in ages, it seems, and my life has gone in a thousand different directions since the last time I did post. I’ll try to catch you up as briefly as I can. In April I met a girl. Well, I’d met her before that, but we didn’t really start to get to know each other until April. I found out she had a crush on me, which was a huge surprise, and when I started to talk to her and hang out with her I realized how incredibly awesome she is. The 23rd of this month will be our six monthiversary. When I think back to what my life was like before Ashley, it’s strange to realize how alone I’ve felt for much of my adolescence. A loneliness that for much of my high school years was coupled with desperation. But this girl seemed to creep up out of nowhere, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Now to the less happy portion of the update…

For much of early July I couldn’t sleep. I was getting 2-3 hours a night at the most. I also started getting these awful headaches. I’m talking about the worst headaches I’ve ever experienced in my life. I told my girlfriend it felt like someone was hitting me in the forehead with a blunt object over and over again. All of this combined with a general malaise. I didn’t really want to do anything or be anywhere, and for some reason I started worrying all the time. About Ashley, about my job, about the church, about everything. I got a doctor’s appointment for a Tuesday afternoon to inquire about everything that was going on, and then about an hour before the appointment I started having trouble breathing, and freaking out. I realized I was probably having a panic attack. I’d never experienced anything like it before in my life, I sincerely thought I was going to die. Mom and Dad came home to take me to the doctor immediately (they got me calmed down on the way there, fortunately), and after seeing him I got put on some medication for my depression and for the headaches. Things started looking up: the headaches went away and I started sleeping, but the panic attacks began to happen more frequently. At least every other day, I had a spell. I had to be taken off the schedule at Ruby’s and stop leading worship at church because I couldn’t be counted on to show up because of my illness. I was afraid to go anywhere. The only thing that really kept me from going completely insane was Ashley. She seemed to know how to calm me down in the midst of an attack better than anyone else.

After about a month all of the anxiety/depression seemed to fade away. I don’t know if it’s the anti-depressant doing its job, or if I just got past whatever it was I was dealing with, but the issue seems to be mostly a non-issue now.

Then, my neck was bothering me one day, and I noticed there was a fairly large knot on the left side of it. A few days later, when it hadn’t gone down any, I went to my doctor to get it checked out and he told me the possible issues. It could be an infection in my lymph nodes, it could be a cyst, it could be leukemia, lymphoma, or any number of things. Some blood work was done, some antibiotics perscribed, and I was asked to come back in a few days. The blood work came back clear, no leukemia! I was incredibly relieved. But the knot wasn’t budging from the antibiotic. My doctor decided to order a CT scan to find out if the knot was in fact a lymph node or a cyst. A few days later I found out it was a lymph node and, guess what, there’s more than one. A needle biopsy was ordered. A week or so later, the results to that came back. Negative for everything. RELIEF! Good, right? Another week goes by, and the knot’s still there. My doctor wants me to see a general surgeon about possibly removing the lymph node and doing a full biopsy on it. Apparently it could still be lymphoma. The surgeon wants to observe me for a few more weeks before operating, thinks it’s still most likely an infection. Apparently these things take a long time to go down after they flare up.

So that’s where I am now. Lumpy neck, waiting and hoping and worrying. I’m back at work and should start leading worship again in the next few weeks. Pray for me whenever you get the chance. God continues to keep life interesting for me.

So I never really intended to write about politics on this here blog. I don’t really intend to now. But y’all, this whole thing is driving me crazy. And, apparently, the rest of the world. THE WHOLE WORLD HAS GONE CRAZY. I have decided who I plan to vote for. You probably have, too. Everyone’s [...]

I’ve been reading a book called Images of Pastoral Care: Classic Readings.  It’s a compilation of essays written by ministers, and other professionals on the ministry of mental health.  I have found it altogether very interesting, and wanted to post a few snippets of an essay written by one of the more well-known contributors, the late Henri Nouwen:

Therefore I would like to voice loudly and clearly what might seem unpopular and maybe even disturbing: The Christian way of life does not take away our loneliness; it protects and cherishes it as a precious gift.  Sometimes it seems as if we do everything possible to avoid the painful confrontation with our basic human loneliness, and allow ourselves to be trapped by false gods promising immediate satisfaction and quick relief.  But perhaps the painful awareness of loneliness is an invitation to transcend our limitations and look beyond the boundaries of our existence.  The awareness of loneliness might be a gift we must protect and guard, because our loneliness reveals to us an inner emptiness that can be destructive when misunderstood, but filled with promise for him who can tolerate its sweet pain.  When we are impatient, when we want to give up our loneliness and try to overcome the separation and incompleteness we feel, too soon, we easily relate to our human world with devastating expectations.  We ignore what we already know with a deep-seated, intuitive knowledge-that no love or friendship, no intimate embrace or tender kiss, no community, commune or collective, no man or woman, will ever be able to satisfy our desire to be released from our lonely condition.  This truth is so disconcerting and painful that we are more  prone to play games with our fantasies than to face the truth of our existence.  Thus we keep hoping that one day we will find the man who really understands our experiences, the woman who will bring peace to our restless life, the job where we can fulfill our potentials, the book which will explain everything, and the place where we can feel at home.  Such false hope leads us to make exhausting demands and prepares us for bitterness and dangerous hostility when we start discovering that nobody, and nothing, can live up to our absolute expectations (p.78).

In no way does Nouwen advocate against the need for relationships, but what he does is point out how to enter them as a person of wholeness.  When we have a deep understanding of ourselves, and our true nature then we can meet others deeply and guide them to deeper understandings of themselves.  He talks about how we create a “space” in ourselves, out of humilty and not out of self-pity, that invites others to be themselves around us.  I think, on some level, he is also saying that through this process we are freed up to get out of the way to minister to others.  It isn’t about self-reliance, but rather it is about fully understanding loneliness as a condition common to all men and to use this understanding to connect with and help other people. 

Nouwen’s words ring true in the silence of waiting rooms, at the table for two in the restaraunt, in homes all across the world.  As a person who represents hundres of thousands of singles I can say that I find some comfort in Nouwen’s words.  I’ve been in loneliner places in my life than what I found myself at the present.  I can see the loneliness in the eyes of dear friends, single and married, widowed and divorced, professionals and ministers.  It’s the “common enemy” of humanity, and how people deny it is evident by their means of suppressing it’s reality.

But our hope is in Christ, who, as the writer of Hebrews says,

14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (4:14-16)

Christ experienced a loneliness that we will never understand, but in turn He does understand ours.  May we meet each other in our time of need with humility and compassion, not with all the answers, but with an understanding.

Over the past 2 weeks, with political debates and economic uncertainty, I find myself continually coming back to the sentiments of Psalm 2: “Why do the nations rage?”

The Lord in Heaven laughs
He knows what is to come
While all the chiefs of state plan their big attacks
Against His anointed One
The Church of God she will not bend her knees
To the gods of this world though they promise her peace
She stands her ground
Stands firm on the Rock
Watch their walls tumble down when she lives out His love

Where are the nails that pierced His hands
Well the nails have turned to rust
But not so the Man
He is risen
And He reigns
In the hearts of the children
Rising up in His name
Where are the thorns that drew His blood
Well the thorns have turned to dust
But behold the love
He has given
It remains
In the hearts of the children
Who will love while the nations rage
While the nations rage

I do believe that elections and economies matter very much — but whatever the outcome, God will take care of his people.

Ayyy! Its-a Martin Gramatica from the New Orleans Saints!

Look-a my hair! You like? It’s-a permed mullet! Is good!

My groin muscle, it’s-a not-a so good. It makes my kicks wildly erratic, like-a mule who drank from the whiskey bucket!

Maybe I spend some time in the whiskey bucket too, no? Maybe I’m-a gonna smoke meth at halftime!

I’m-a so sad! The truth, it’s-a not in me! I’m-a gonna go in this other room for a little bit. Don’t worry about-a old Martin! I got lotsa more kicks in my legs!

So long-a for now!

…

*muffled shotgun blast*

This morning, I was watching the Today Show. Normally, I rather enjoy the Today Show. I have this weird crush on Matt Lauer, and Meredith Viera doesn’t annoy me too much. Also, I want to be Ann Curry when I grow up.

But today, they had this NBC correspondent on there who, when she was in college, gained 40 pounds. Okay, that’s not too uncommon, but, whatever. And when she realized how HUGE she was (really, she was not that big) she took those pounds right off. Went from a size 4 to a 14 in 11 months. And, she was on the Today Show to share her secrets with a world full of fatties.

Here’s the part where I started to get really agitated. I’ve always struggled with my weight. And I am fully aware that when I gain weight, it’s because I’m making poor decisions when it comes to eating and exercise. But, for me at least, it’s so much more than a physical thing–eating and exercising are very related to emotions and state of mind for me.

Which is why this woman’s “secrets” annoyed me so much. Here they are, with my snarky responses.

-Cut back on unhealthy foods: Oh. My. Gosh. I never thought about that! She should totally write a book about that. Because I always heard you should eat MORE unhealthy food to lose weight. I guess I should mark the all-cheesecake diet off my list.

-Work out three times a week: Wait. You mean, working out helps you lose weight too? Seriously? I thought that treadmill in the basement was just a moving buffet.

-Drink a lot of water: Water, huh? I could have sworn my doctor told me that Coke was the key to weight loss. And sugary juices. And milkshakes. Especially milkshakes.

Great skinny one. Your weight loss tips have changed my life. I’m so glad you were brave and strong and came on tv and showed one picture of your fatty self. That must have taken so much courage.

Oh, and then she held up her “fat jeans.” Y’all. They weren’t fat jeans. They were ugly white tapered leg jeans, but they were not fat jeans.

I’m not diminishing her weight loss. It’s great that she recognized unhealthy patterns in her life, visited a personal trainer one time, then dropped ten sizes. Bravo. But I hate how she only addressed, in my opinion, one very small side of weight loss/weight gain/healthy living.

But maybe I just don’t get how easy it is!

This morning, as I was sitting at my desk, drinking my coffee and working on some important library things, I began hearing . . . a noise. A noise coming from the trashcan. I tried to ignore it. I thought, “Surely there is nothing in the trashcan. La la la la la. Nothing in the trashcan.”

And then I looked down at the trashcan and I saw something move. I went out into the library and proceeded to freak out in front of my assistant, a parent, and a student. (I later offered the student a bribe so that he would never tell anyone what he had seen.)

My assistant, who is nicest person at my school and awesome in every way, took charge. She put a board over the top of my trashcan and went to the office to get someone to page the janitor. Then she came back and talked me down. When the janitor came in the library, I went out. Because I DID NOT WANT TO SEE WHAT CAME OUT OF THE TRASHCAN. I went to the front office, where they made fun of me and also commiserated with me about the freakishness of it all. The janitor proceeded to take care of the situation. I saw him in the hall and he said that everything was taken care of. And then he walked away in his cowboy boots. It was like a scene in a movie. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly right there in my school.

So, do you want to know what was in my trashcan? A SPIDER. A GIANT SPIDER GIANT ENOUGH TO MAKE RUSTLING NOISES IN A TRASHCAN. In a lot of ways, that seems worse than a mouse. At least mice are supposed to rustle. SPIDERS SHOULD NOT BE LARGE ENOUGH TO RUSTLE PAPERS. My assistant and the janitor made shapes that indicated that the spider was as large as my hand. And also they told me that other spiders have been sighted in the school. Giant spiders. Taking over my school. You can imagine how happy this makes me. If you don’t hear from me again, it’s because giant spiders ate my face.

Hey, um, if you are kind of terrified of spiders, I would definitely not click on this link. Because it is almost as horrifying as my story. You’re welcome.

This is my dinner from a few nights ago. It took about 20 minutes to put together, thanks to the wonders of Trader Joes. The pasta? Thats lobster ravioli and yes its a good as that sounds. The asparagus? Yeah I bought a pound of frozen asparagus for the same price a small bundle would cost me. Usually frozen veggies taste like frozen veggies, but not these. They tasted like they had never been frozen before. That is the beauty of Trader Joes, their food is just so good, frozen or fresh! Oh those round patties? They are from IKEA, they were tasty too. But this post is about my love for Trader Joes.

Ive grown up on Trader Joes growing up in Southern California. My family would shop there over the grocery store. It wasnt a health food store, but it was cheap and had a lot healthy choices. Most of the store is full of products that Trader Joes themselves has created. Other part is of the best brands and types of foods they cant seem to make better. I was sad to leave Trader Joes when I moved to Carolina. I thought for a very long time that this state didnt even have one till I found out that an hour away is a Trader Joes. It is worth the drive and the gas to get the foods that I love. I adore artichokes and there was no way I was paying $4 bucks for one like the grocery store wants me to pay. Trader Joes? 4 for $3s! New to me - boxed soups from Trader Joes and I was not disappointed.

Maybe one day my town will wise up and invite Trader Joes into its community. That day could not come soon enough.

Ten years ago on Friday, Adriene and I went on our first date. We went to a Georgia Tech-Duke football game and went out to dinner afterwards. We celebrated our ten year anniversary by … going to a Georgia Tech-Duke football game and going out to dinner afterwards.

Of course, ten years changes a lot. This date to Bobby Dodd Stadium was special because it was the girls’ first football game ever. We had fun taking them downtown to our usual tailgate location and letting them play with some of our friends. I think they were happy to get out and play outside on a beautiful fall morning, too. Realistically, I didn’t expect them to make it past the third quarter, and maybe not even to halftime. Sure enough, around the middle of the third quarter Gracie was ready to leave and made sure we knew, so we made an exit stage right. I think we still managed to see a good portion of the game, at least, so no complaints here. Georgia Tech had a pretty good hold on the game, leading 17-0, by the time we left so we felt okay getting ahead of the traffic.

We took the girls out to my parents’ house and gave them a little bit of grandparent time while we snuck out for dinner. After dinner, we drove to Suwanee to see Caedmon’s Call in concert at a nice little outdoor venue. The beautiful weather continued through the day and into the nice and we enjoyed sitting on the lawn together and listening to the music.

Caedmon’s Call knocked out “Lead of Love” and “Hope To Carry On” in a hurry and then settled into a couple songs from Overdressed. It was kinda a hodge-podge lineup with Mandy Mann filling in for Danielle and Randy Holsapple playing the hammond organ in place of Josh. (Someone on the stage said “Mike Love” when Cliff introduced Randy which got a laugh out of everyone on stage.) I’m not sure who was playing bass, I didn’t recognize him.

Always eager to talk about football, Cliff Young asked us about “hand signs” for various universities. In Texas, this is a big thing as each school has their own hand sign. He asked if Georgia had a hand sign, (we have a hand sign for Georgia, but it’s not appropriate around children.) Andy said, “I’m in Georgia so I’m supposed to say Go Bulldogs….. what sport to do they play?” God bless him, he’s trying.

Andy’s solo during “Hold The Light” keeps getting longer and longer. This is not a bad thing. I wonder if hanging around The Smoakstack is rubbing off on Andy. He played “Canada” and “New Beginning” during his little solo set.

The band wrapped up with “Share The Well” and “Hands of the Potter”… great little show at a fantastic place to spend a fall Saturday night.

Our first date ten years ago lasted about seventeen hours as we went to the football game, out for dinner, and attending a fraternity party late into the night. From the time we left our house at 8 AM on Saturday until we rolled into my parents’ house after the concert around 10 PM, we had logged a 14 hour date this time around. It’s good to see some things don’t change in our relationship.

Pictures of the weekend!

So we moved this weekend. Our landlord had a hold on an apartment and the other leaser fell thru and after negotiating just paying the difference in the rent and deposit for this month we decided to take it about two hours after we saw the place.

The apartment has so many things we like. I loved our hardwood floors but the carpet in this place is fabulous berber and I can live with it. The fridge and freezer are twice as big as the other place. There are washer and dryer hookups. There is ample cupboard space. Their is lots of counter space. We gave up closet space but the closets are decent and make a lot more sense then in the old place. Their are lots of outlets, all three pronged and light switches instead of pull strings.

There is a hallway between us and the next door neighbors and the upstairs neighbors are only over part of the apartement. That brings up the most important fact. WE ARE DOWNSTAIRS. I liked being upstairs because it was economical as far as heat went but it was impractical to bring furniture and impractical for my parents who really would like to visit more often but simply couldn’t physically handle climbing our stairs.

Our real reason ultimately for desiring a two bedroom was that we really wanted a place to bring a child into and that other apartment was simply not practical for that purpose. The layout in this place is great because you can visually see what is going on in the living-room while in the kitchen but by putting up a gate you can block acess to the kitchen. The small future child’s room is off from the kitchen and our room is on the other end of the apartment and the bathroom is inside our room. I like the convience of that although it isn’t the best for company. Our bedroom doesn’t have any windows but I like that because the rest of the living space is bright and I like sleeping in darkness. 

I am meeting with the home finder friday and then in a couple weeks we have our first sit down meeting. The home finder is actually a family friend so that helps it to seem less overwhelming. I have Friday and Monday off and I will hopefully be able to get the majority of things in order.

We were priveledged to have help yesterday and we have an offer of dinner for tonight at Phils aunts and then the last of our packing and moving. We have meetings on both Tuesday and Thursday for trainings with foster care. Two more months until we are certified resource parents.

The move happened really quickly and that was hard but at the same time I didn’t have enough time to worry about it which was nice. I also couldn’t procrastinate because I knew it was better to just get as much done as quickly as possible. Phil’s grandmother showed up and helped pack dishes in the old place before we even gotten back from the new place. We had help from a family friend with a truck. We also had a couple kids/teenagers that I used to babysit who helped carry lots of stuff. 

Now for the more annoying stuff like changing our addresses on everything I am not looking forward to but I am sure it will be alright. I have a week off at the end of this month and I think it will be wonderful to have that time to settle in.

Sorry guys. I’m not really in the mood to write up another humorous, completely original blog post this morning. I’m feeling frustrated and stymied on all fronts.

I just spent the first 45 minutes of the day trying to pierce my tongue with the three-hole puncher from my desk. I couldn’t fit my stupid tongue in there very well, and so when I slammed down on the handle, it just ripped a the tip off, and now I’m dripping blood all over the front of my shirt like a damn Civil War amputating surgeon.

Don’t worry, though, it was a completely sterile procedure. I squirted a bunch of Purell all over the three-hole puncher before I stuck my mouth on it.

It’s just so frustrating that nothing in my life ever works out for me. I must be the unluckiest person alive. I mean, first I lost my job in 2002 and now this!

It’s situations like this that make you start to question your last decade of rampant drug abuse…

• Jeremy Casella
  Jeremy recommends the Fleet Foxes record. So do I.
  (tags: fleetfoxes cjh_comment)
• Album Detail - Omaha Bible Church
  D. A. Carson audio from a weekend seminar titled "Making Sense of Suffering".
  (tags: audio sermon)
• Empire Magazine’s 500 Greatest Movies Of All Time
  I've watched a bunch of these, but this will give me some ideas for my next trip to the video store.
  (tags: movies lists)

Things I’ve linked recently:

• Jeremy Casella
  Jeremy recommends the Fleet Foxes record. So do I.
  (tags: fleetfoxes cjh_comment )
• Album Detail - Omaha Bible Church
  D. A. Carson audio from a weekend seminar titled "Making Sense of Suffering".
  (tags: audio sermon )
• Empire Magazine’s 500 Greatest Movies Of All Time
  I've watched a bunch of these, but this will give me some ideas for my next trip to the video store.
  (tags: movies lists )

Next up in the blog book review series, courtesy of Mulnomah Publishing: For Young Men Only: A Guy’s Guide to the Alien Gender, by Jeff Feldhahn and Eric Rice. (Usual standard disclaimer: Mulnomah sent me a free copy, I agreed to review it.)

Apparently For Young Men Only (we’ll just call it FYMO for the rest of this review) is the fourth book in the For… …Only series; the authors have already written For Men Only, For Women Only, and For Young Women Only. Each book professes to unlock the mysteries of the opposite gender to the target audience. FYMO, then is targeted at teenage boys, I’d say probably in the Junior High to High School age range. In chapter one, the authors lay out the purpose for the book:

…we want to help teen guys understand, talk to, listen to, get to know, learn from, care for, enjoy…maybe even impress a girl. Sure, it’s not quite as lofty a goal is stopping terrorism or bringing back the glaciers. But it’s something smart guys care about - and smart girls too. Understanding how girls think can make a huge difference in your happiness now and in the future. even better, a crash course in Girl 101 can put you way ahead of most other guys, who will spend the rest of their lives being totally confused.

In the book you’re holding, enlightment starts with you. You bring your legendary genius. We bring our shocking data. Pretty soon you can get inside her head.

The remaining chapters of this short (150 5″x7″ pages) book are filled with topics like these: “Why ordinary guys have a real chance with great girls”; “A code breaker’s guide to baffling female behavior”; “Why girls go from ‘love’ to ‘get lost’ so fast - and how to keep from getting crushed”; “How to talk and listen to a girl without looking like an idiot”, and, last but not least, “The truth about girls, guys, and sex”. Frankly, I’m a bit too far past high school to remember if this stuff would’ve been helpful or not, but it’s all reasonable advice. Be yourself. Listen. Be sensitive. Don’t have sex before marriage. Let her see the “real” you.

Where I run into difficulty with FYMO is in figuring out who I’d recommend it to. It’s purposefully not a “christian” book. No scripture is referenced. All the arguments driving the “what to do” and “what not to do” are based on surveys of what girls like and want, and on lots of basic psychology. It feels a lot like what you might read in a normal magazine targeted toward highschoolers. Which is fine, as far as it goes. But if I ever have a son, by the time he’s old enough to be reading this book, he should be thinking over these things with some spiritual depth that is nowhere to be found in this book.

My other big difficulty with FYMO is that the authors assume, and appear to view as perfectly fine, a fairly broad range of physical intimacy among their teenage audience. Call me out of touch with modern times, but I don’t want my 9th grader who is reading this book to assume that having a series of dating relationships in high school in which he is snuggling, kissing, and “making out” with girls is the right thing to do. As a Christian father, I would assume (and expect) a higher standard.

I can imagine that teenage boys could learn a thing or two from this book if they were willing to sit down and read it. And what they would learn would be helpful, as far as it goes. My hope, though, is that Christian parents would provide enough training and guidance to their sons that the sons would be able to pick out the helpful insights while recognizing that the authors’ worldview is some distance from what it should be.

[For Young Men Only can be purchased at Amazon.com. Find out more about the book at foryoungmenonly.com.]

on Saturday i went into NOLA with some youth group people to participate in some mission work. it was me, one other adult, and three kids from our church. we were meeting up with people from other youth groups to do some stuff in the 9th ward. they broke us up into different groups to go do 4 different projects and mixed up the groups so different people from different youth groups would meet each other. i led three other guys to go move mattresses in preparation for a giveaway next week. basically we showed up at a flooded out gym at a church, and moved mattresses and box springs inside to stack up against the wall. the mattresses were donated from a hotel in Dallas and are going to be given away to people in the neighborhood in the next week. initially we started with an 18 wheeler full, so it was a daunting task at first to see what looked like an endless trailer full. in addition, there were supposed to be 10 people to do the job, but we only had four due to the small number of people helping today. we got it done though, even though we were undermanned, and had some fun along the way.

however, it wasn’t all total awesome fun time. we’re a united methodist youth group because we’re at a UM church. i get that. we got shirts today with a GIANT UM logo. at lunch we had to read these devotionals that were like a page and a half long. then when we got back to the church we originated from, they had a whole worship service, complete with communion. it just seemed too complicated to me. the shirts, i can deal with a logo on the shirt, but a huge logo? the devotional at lunch, reading that sheet of paper, just seemed a little much. when we finally got to the prayer, the kid that said it said a great one. why couldn’t we just have gone with that? then after, the worship service, we had been out all day doing work, we were tired, and yet i felt like i was sitting through a service that was for the leaders to make themselves feel good at leading worship. the first song had lyrics like “I am free indeed” and yet i was sitting there thinking i was trapped and not free! there was also this part of the service where the different groups got up to the front to talk about their project, so i went up there when my group did. the leading pastor asked us a trick question almost. we’re up there and all talked about our day and how hard we worked, and the guy asks us if any of the people there at the old gym were members of the church we were at. we had no idea, but we didn’t think so, which we responded with, but then he says “well, there was one lady who was a member of the church.” dude, what was that for? i should have asked him that. we finally were able to leave at 4:30.

the main thing though was going out there helping people. i was proud of the guys i worked with, and of all the other kids who showed up. i just wish the adults involved wouldn’t have made the rest of the day so jampacked with irrelevant stuff.

I am the oldest of five children. We span nearly ten and one-half years from oldest to youngest, four boys and then a rather special little sister. Today we reach something of a milestone: that youngest of the Hubbs children, our sister Rebecca, turns 21. To honor her on her birthday, I thought I’d pull out some photos. Unfortunately, I don’t have any really OLD ones to post.

(She’s the one in the middle in this picture, with my wife Becky on the right and Aaron’s fiancee Emily on the left.)

At Andrew’s wedding this summer, with her oldest brother:

She’s HOW old?

Happy birthday, sis! We love you lots!

The above is what a friend of mine told me during a discussion/disagreement on worship.

Umm… thanks?

I just find it funny, since just a few years ago, I was on my way to becoming a dyed-in-the-wool (Reformed) Southern Baptist.  Also funny, because the guy who said this is arguably more Presbyterian than I am.

Things I’ve linked recently:

• prayers for blowouts » Blog Archive » Cameron Strang Hates Cubs Fans
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Katherine gives you a look into her corner of the world by writing about the process of becoming foster parents.

This morning, three of my friends and I participated in the Women’s Only 5K Walk and Run. Two of us ran and two of us walked. I ran almost the entire thing. Almost! Except for this one thing that happened at the end. Which I am going to tell you about.

At the very end, we were approaching the finish line, and I was like, “Yay, I made it!” And then I realized it was a fake-out, and we were going to have to climb a hill, turn the corner, and come back around to the other side of the road for the actual finish line. NOT. COOL. I had to walk for about 30 seconds. I was so sad. I was so close to running the whole thing, but I had put my last burst of energy into making it to where I thought the finish line was. It was nice having the finish line be at the bottom of a hill, though. I will say that.

Also, apparently someone passed out or got hurt or something, and when the paramedics on bicycles were trying to get to her, one of them hit me. That was right at the end as well. So let’s just claim that I had to walk because A GUY ON A BICYCLE HIT ME. That is a better story anyway. (He did seem genuinely sorry. I forgive you, paramedic guy, and I hope you made it to the other person in time.)

Our time wasn’t as good as either of our previous two races, but this was a really really crowded race. There were a few bottlenecks, especially at the beginning. And then over this one really narrow bridge. So I am satisfied with my race, even if it wasn’t my best time. At one point, my friend said, “People who are really concerned with times aren’t going to be happy.” I am not really concerned about my time, and I think it would have been at least a little bit better if not for the bridge and the really slow start.

Special thanks to Meredith Brooks for her song “Bitch” that came on just as I was climbing one hill. Yeah! I kicked that hill’s butt, thanks to her! Also, special thanks to Kanye West for his song “Stronger” that come on when I was on that other hill. I don’t think I would have made it without you, Kanye.

The overall feel of the race was very cool. When I went to pick up my packet last night, I stood in a long line with a bunch of other women and I was surprised at how, “WOOO! Girl power!” it made me feel. It was nice to feel like we as women were doing something that could really help other women. I like to do my part to help kick cancer’s butt.

There were lots of supporters along the race. The supporters really do give me a burst of energy, and I appreciate them being willing to stay out there and cheer us on. But my favorite supporter was a guy with a giant bra stapled to a poster. That guy really wanted us to fight breast cancer.

Dear artist who painted the Starbucks window,

“Pumpkin” is spelled not spelled “p-u-N-p-k-i-n”

I don’t even know how to pronounce that.

Coridally,

Brian

This afternoon, I dropped off my carpool buddy and drove home. And then I saw a thing of beauty and a joy forever, something that made me turn my car around so I could drive by again. It was just that awesome.

In case you can’t read it, it says, “Obama supporters can steal our signs but not our right to free speech.” As you can see, I made Mike go back with me so I could take a picture of it. I asked him if he thought that it was some kind of official sign these people would have gotten from the McCain offices. Maybe something they printed due to rampant stealing. Mike pointed out that an official campaign poster wouldn’t make Palin look like a giant compared to McCain. Which is true. I hadn’t really considered that. It does make her look freakishly tall. And, if this comment is from the same guy, it does appear he had it made himself.

For the record, even though it should go without saying, I don’t support stealing signs. Stealing signs is lame. People should be able to put whatever signs they want in their yards. Also, if the signs get stolen, what will I count? But I have to confess that I kind of want to go steal that sign so I can hang it over my couch. Look at it. It’s awesome. And it’s not the only sign in the yard!

That one reads: “Thank you American Soldiers. 50,000,000 free Iraq/Afghanistan.” When I saw it this afternoon, I thought it said “50,000 free Iraq/Afghanistan” and I couldn’t figure out what the 50,000 free would be. This makes much more sense.

Looking at the signs and the flags and the general splendor, well, I have a theory. The people stealing the signs? Could just be the neighbors.

Official sign count for the day:

McCain: AWESOME.
Obama: Just some regular yard signs, aka WEAKSAUCE.

(I hope you are impressed with the drive-by photography. The flash kind of broke while I was trying to take the picture, so I’m pretty sure we were spotted. Because we were sitting there for much longer than we intended. Probably we should consider careers as private investigators.)

1. This evening Laura and I are going to Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner. It’s a time where people in our church get together and share each other’s food and apparently also get to know each other in the process. I’m making vegetarian past and good old fashioned meat pasta. I can’t be bothered to be innovative for tonight.
2. Again last night… four hour of sleep. This is not good. At all. I went to be at 2300, 2400, 0100, 0200, 0300, 0330, 0400… and the last one was the one that took. But now I’m functioning on nothing more than diet cola and coffee.
3. Laura dropped by the office to say hello and bring me some food. Good wife, that one! And not just because she brings me food.
4. I’m voting NDP this election. I like Jack Layton, I like a lot of their platform, but I especially like their IP stance. Ever since I saw Charlie Angus debating Jim Prentice in the House of Commons, I’ve kind of warmed to the party. But with the Green Party’s current leadership — she looks and talks like a troll and not even a funny GNAA troll or something, plus she seemed out of touch and just a little dumb — looking a little lacklustre, who else to vote for? Certainly not the Liberals, curse their rotten bones. Absolutely not the Conservatives and their Rove-style politics. So there we go.
5. Canadian parliamentary politics is pretty interesting. The only thing that matters in these elections is the PM. All his MPs vote with him on all matter except the rare free votes. All his backbenchers vote with him unless they’re resigned to being backbenchers for the rest of their careers. I don’t like this. What’s the point of having MPs if they can only vote as the PM wills? We may as well just vote for a 4-year dictator and his assorted civil servants: After all, what are the MPs doing but spearheading policy issues for the PM and party brass? The MP voting and selection process is broken and meaningless.
6. I don’t like change any more. I generally don’t like new people. I like the people I already know and the faces I’m already familiar with and the places I’m used to going. Maybe that makes me old or something, but I don’t mind. The only thing I really like is new music. I can get into new music.
7. Oh, and I pretty much hate a lot of worship music. It’s bland, boring, artificial, meaningless junk for the most part.
8. Soon I will be at home cooking a mean. This is good.

It’s Tuesday night, and Im walking down the hall of the third floor of Henderson. Ive just left my Creative Writing class, and the stale, musty smell of the building hangs in the air. As I head for the double doors at the end of the hall I can hear the mummur of another class still in progress. I linger for a moment against the hall to catch the sound of a video the class is viewing. Some preacher is talking about God’s love and the forgiveness found in Christ. I head through the doors, walking down the three flights of stairs that will talk me to the level floor. When I walk outside I am suddenly engulfed by the cool, brisk fall air. It’s night, and I can vaguely make out some of the stary sky that has escaped the light population given off by scattered lamps on campus. Down the hill to my left is the three story Psychology building all brick and stoic. In front of me several yards off is the square, brick, ironically sterile art building. Off in the distance I can hear a song being sung by strong, young voice of a guy who wants to be famous one day. His acoustic guitar echos out of the small gym, and escapes into the night air. This is a paused moment. The crispy air rushes into my lungs as I breath in deep, my ears strain to drink in the raspy melodies, my eyes hungrily search the stary sky, and my feet slowly march down the hill. It is moments like this I have learned to stop and experience them for all they are worth. Its the space and time between point A and point B. Its the time that no one, not even myself, demands anything. I shove the “shoulds” out of my mind and take the moment in. Its the scrap of space left over after a schedule has been cut out. Its in these times where I escape and find refugee. Sometimes this time looks like my long drive home from school with the windows down, the radio off, and my eyes fixated on the horizon. Sometimes this time looks like Thursday afternoon, when my school week has ended but its not quit the weekend yet. I daydream, and wonder around in my mind about my life and what it is and what it will be and what I am learning in it all. That space in between the points, that time in between time is where I recharge. Medition…slowing down…smelling the roses…whatever some one wants to call it…I crave it. And I wasnt even looking for it. It found me.

For your Friday pleasure, we’ve dusted off this very old Rock TV from our underground vaults!

This particular video is almost ten years old now, long predating my involvement. You will, however, hear Todd Luker’s voice during the narration, and you have Ryan Pickett to thank for the severed arm shot, which is perhaps the highlight of the video.

The skit itself has some decent laughs, in my opinion (setting aside the fact that it was a blatant SNL rip-off, which was a Rock TV speciality in those days). Watching it today, it’s clear how much the production values and writing in our ministry have improved over the years, but funnily enough, we rarely get the sort of rapturous response that this video received back in 1999.

Also, keep your eyes peeled for a 10-year old Micah Darling.

Enjoy!